school

I dont know what to do. This is just so fucking hard, im stuck in bloody hospital and im becoming day patient and jsut everything. I want my mum here, or someone who i can talk to, cus at the moment there is no one. I dont know what to od about school, should i go, shouldnt i?
  Like  im a freak anough with CF, i don need my new friends knowing about my anorexia. Like ill tel my best friends, but not eveyrbody. but they'll find out because if i cant og for the whoel day and i have to eat every like two hours and have lunch on a mandometer, that doesnt exactly scream "normal".
  I dont know. i dont think im ready to jsut go for a couple of hours and i dont think im ready to have the mandometer infron of others. Like i find it weird ot eat on my own its easier to eat with others. but all the people here also use a mandometer, so its nothign weird. Like i havent even had lunch or dinner out, like ina restaurant. Theres no way that i can jsut sit infront of my class mates pull out my mando meter and act like normal, its not me.

I need someone to talk to. Its fucking unfair how eveyrody can jsut go everywhere and think thats its fine to leave me here and let me deal with this myself, because its fucking unfair and not right.