Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: [email protected]

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Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Midsummer throughout the years & vegan pancake recipe

Hello and good afternoon :)

Its Thursday afternoon when writing this post, however i have spent the whole day thinking it is Friday, and i have completely lost track of the days and date at the moment.

Tomorrow it is Midsummer and i'll be spending it with my friends and having a Midsummer dinner which will be 90% vegan! I had planned to just make my own food and bring it with me and maybe a vegan dessert for everyone to share, but it turns out that one of my friends who is the host for the evening decided to make 90% of the food vegan and then there will be egg and herring which are 2 typical foods eaten at Midsummer. I still dont know what food will be served, but i am looking forward to it :)

I start off my Friday and Midsummer with a 6 hour workshift from 6am until 12pm and then ill head home, get ready and then into town to meet with a few of my friends before we then travel to our friend who is hosting us for the evening and we'll see where the evening takes us! As tomorrow will be such a long day i am mostly resting up today so that i have energy for tomorrow :)However i did clean the whole apartment just incase we end up being at my place if the weather is bad!

This morning when i was at the gym all i could think about was pancakes, so after my gym session i went to the store and bought the ingredients to make pancakes and they turned out amazing!
-> 3dl flour, 6dl oat milk, 0,5dl aquafaba, 1tsp baking powder, 2tbs melted vegan margarine and sweetner/sugar to taste :) And then fry on medium heat!




I was a little disappointed that i had forgotten to buy vegan whipped cream as that would have gone perfectly with the pancakes :(

The rest of the evening its just rest as im feeling rather tired today!

Are you celebrating Midsummer? (its mostly a nordic tradition!).

Throwback to previous Midsummer pictures!






2010

2010

2011

2011



2012 - the first time i ever got drunk, blacked out and had a hang over the next day


2013

201420152016 - my first vegan midsummer

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Summer days - 2017

Each summer i am always baffeled by how happy the sun and warm weather makes me. Each year i notice just how much my mood and even energy levels are affected by the weather, and its not always so controllable. If it rains and is bad weather i'll feel more tired, sluggish, unmotivated and just less energetic but once its good weather i am the exact opposite and it is like my energy never stops!

My top 5 things about summer are:

Walking outside in shorts and a tank top, or being able to walk to and from the gym in my shorts and gym gear!!!

Watermelon and fresh strawberries!!! Nothing beats these two fruits/berries!!

Lying out in the sun - i love it! In the past i used to hate sunbathing as i was far too restless - and still am in some sense. But also i felt uncomfortable lying somewhere if it was sort of public as well as didnt like lying out in the sun on my own. This year however i am not as restless and have found a grass section which isnt so public where i can lie and sunbathe when i have the time for it!

The bright and warm evenings and being able to sit outside in the evening with friends and not get cold!!

The freedom of summer. Sure there is work and other responsibilities but the days are longer and brighter and feels like i have time for more things when i just work. I love studying but it can definitely feel like more than 100% and more like 2 jobs at times haha.


And there are so many more positive things about summer that the list would never end!! But for now i am just enjoying it as much as i can!

How am i spending my days?

Working when there is work available..... this month there isnt so much work which is a little worrying but not so much i can do about it.

Sunbathing when the sun is out!

Listening to ALOT of podcasts.... i think one day i listened to 6 podcasts which is more than 6 hours. hahah. But its different documentaries so i am learning alot about different events and happenings in the world which i never knew details or the backstory of.

Cooking and baking when i have the time for it. Of course when its warm weather its not as appetizing to eat warm food, but i still love my lentil soup and cooked potatoes. However ive now started to cook my food and let it cool down completely so when i eat it it is cold!

Working out when i feel like it. Somedays the gym, somedays walking. But like i mentioned in my previous post, trying to focus on all round fitness and not just do the same thing over and over!






At the moment i am not spending alot of time infront of the computer or even at home which you may have noticed. Trying to make time for blogging but somedays i leave the house at 9am or earlier and dont get home until 8pm or much later like 10 or 11pm. But trying to make one post a day at least :) And still getting around to trying to answer the questions, i havent forgotten them :)



How are you spending your summer? What are your favourite things about summer? And if its winter in your country, how are you spending your winter/autumn? :)

Some recent eats:








Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Past few days in my life

Hello and good morning :)

My days have been filled up with work, friends, family, hospital appointments and delicious food so havent been able to update my blog. But thats what life should be like :)

Friday i spent most of the day working and then in the evening had time to watch 2  episodes of new OITNB season 5 which i have waited a year for! However that is all i have had time to watch as ive had other things to do, so i cant wait until i have time to just sit down and continue watching, haha!

Saturday morning i worked from 6am to 12.30pm and then it was home time and make and eat lunch, rest a little before getting ready to leave for a "job party". It was staff from the company i work for as well as some of my work colleagues who i had never met before. The staff had arranged for us to play Boule and then we got served dinner. I cant say that the vegan option was amazing, however it was food so i was just happy over that fact and it did infact fill me up. I dont have very high standards for vegan food in situations such as the one i was in, then im just happy if there is something i can eat!

After the job party and dinner i headed off to meet 2 friends and look at some of the Pride festivities before we ended up spending most of the night at a bar with a few glasses of wine, and i got home some time around 2am and being up 22 hours that day.




Then on Sunday morning i got up, did some cleaning and headed off into town to meet my mum who had arrived in Gothenburg. It rained the WHOLE day on Sunday, so it was the perfect day to just go eat lunch and sit there for a while and then browse some shops before coming home, making dinner (rice paper rolls) and then watching a movie before going to bed early!





Then Monday morning it was an early start as we had to be at the hospital before 8am where i first had blood tests done before i could eat breakfast, and then from 8-4 it was a bunch of different tests all checking different things regarding my CF health, and in 6 weeks time i'll go   back and get the results!

During the lunch break i took my mum to the "secret" forest area by the hospital. Perfect to get a little break from the very sterile and sick environment that the hospital is.

Monday evening finished with a workout while my mum went shopping and then food at one of my favourite places - its actually a sort of fast food place, but their fries are amazing as well as the Oumph salad! We sat there for almost 2 hours and had very heated discussions about different topics.... i love having disscussions and being able to hear different opinions and point of view and learn other peoples thoughts regarding different topics. My mum and I have different opinions and experiences of certain things so we can easily spend a long time discussing and sharing our thoughts and opinons on those topics, but its always valuable to hear another persons point of view and i never get angry or mean, instead i am very good at keeping my calm and being able to hear the other person even if we dont share the same opinion!








And then to end the night it was a night snack and a movie before going to sleep! And todays plans i am not so sure what we will do... its finally stopped raining so maybe we can spend some time outside today!

I hope you all have a lovely week whatever you may be doing :)

Sunday, June 11, 2017

My dream vegan meal and who would i share it with ?

I got asked the question about what would be my dream vegan meal and who would i share it with? And i loved the question so thought i would do a post about it! But i thought i would add on... if i could only eat one meal for the rest of my life what would it be?

So first off... two scenarios, my dream meal in reality where i pay/make the food, and dream reality where money is not a problem and im not the one making the food haha!! And of course i have to have more than one dish in my meal!!

So... in reality where there are limits to my choices!

Starter:  A fresh salad consisting of spinach, ruccola, sweet corn, baby tomatoes, pine nuts, some form of soy protein, avocado, pickled onion & some type of fresh sallad dressing,

Main: Lentil vegetable soup with potatoes and oat cream & newly baked bread with vegan butter and cheese.

Dessert: Chocolate fondue or vegan creme brulee or vegan cheese cake.... or actually, the vegan saffron cheesecake i made for christmas was one of the best cakes i think ive ever made!!

And i would want to share this meal with my sister and my mum :)




My dream meal:
Starter: Tofu and vegetable skewers with a peanut sauce & Crispy sweet potatoe fries & spring rolls with dipping sauce & freshly baked bread.

Main: A sallad consisting of the best sallad ingredients (XD) and of course with thyme and garlic oumph (lots of it!). Basically a sallad like the ones from Mahalo cafe!  (pictures below)

Main part 2: Cauliflower pizza with pulled oumph on top and lots of veggies. 

Dessert: It would have to be a dessert buffet because i love dessert! So mini versions of everything so i can have a bit of everything! Cookies, chocolate mudcake, cheese cake, donuts, waffles and of course lots of chocolate covered strawberries!

I would want to share this with lots of vegan online people i follow... there are so many so i cant even name them all. But i would want to gather us all and talk and eat and just get to know each other in person!






And if i could only eat one meal for the rest of my life?

Then i think it would have to be thyme and garlic oumph with oven roasted potatoes, some type of oat based sauce and lots of salad/kale with sweet corn and cashew nuts on top and of course freshly baked bread with this meal! Yummm

And if i could live on only one food.....?
I cant answer that hahahah...




Wednesday, May 31, 2017

What i eat in a day - 4 different days - (not a meal plan!!!)

Recently i have gotten so many requests to do weekly "what i eat in a day" or full day of eating posts and i never really remember how i eat and i dont really see how it is useful either. But most of all i  dont want anyone to copy how i eat..... as always, everyone needs different amounts. So this post is just to show how i eat different everyday... somedays i might eat X kcal and other days i eat Y kcal. And the full day of eating below is just taken out of memory and not the "real thing" i.e  its not exactly how i have eaten.

Each day is different and thats how balance is for me... somedays im not hungry in the morning so i dont eat breakfast, otherdays im so hungry throughout the whole day so i can eat up to 8 times that day. Somedays i basically eat 6 of the same meals, otherdays i vary alot. Also portion sizes vary and the pictures i show on IG are just the "ig pictures", i often add more after the picture and add nuts and mix it all together etc so PLEASE REMEMBER that if you follow me on there. I do try to add in the igstory the "real" food just to be real and honest on there :)

How many kcal  do i eat? From the different food registrations i have had to do for my university course i eat around 2800-3400kcal in a day and you might think that i eat alot of vegetables so how could i possibly eat that much? Well first, i can eat ALOT and 2 i do eat alot of nuts and seeds and peanut butter. If i dont eat alot of nuts and seeds i end up eating too little and lose weight, or well i dont weigh myself so i dont have any real way of knowing but its like i notice it in both energy and how i look even if physical weightloss or weight gain isnt noticable ina short time, it takes a week or more for it to be noticable. I do notice now when im working that it is much harder to eat enough when i only have 30 minutes to eat lunch and then if its a long work shift 15 minutes for a snack and then by the time i come home i have barely eaten anything that day so it is a struggle to eat enough while working, but with the right snacks and eating lots in the evening it will be fine!

I dont want anyone to copy this way of eating, and i dont do meal plans as i am not qualified to do that. But i wanted to show different days of eating that when you follow your bodies hunger and fullness you might not eat the same everyday. Somedays i eat dinner at 5pm other days at 8.30pm. Hhowever i DO recommend trying to follow a regular eating schedule if possible i.e having huge contrasts where one day you eat 3 times and the next day you eat 7 times isnt the best. Regular eating times and roughly the same portions is what i would recommend, but of course in theory that works but in reality it may be different.

Also, if you dont have your hunger and fullness feelings or cant trust your body, then keep following a meal plan. Dont eat intuitively if you dont dare trust your body or you dont feel hunger or fullness, then its better to wait until your body is more balanced and until you can trust your body :) Because intuitive eating is all about trusting your signals, knowing that one day you might eat alot but that is what your body needs and knowing that its ok to eat that apple or chocolate inbetween meals and snacks if thats what you want, and knowing that if you really cant finish a meal then its ok to leave it because maybe you just arent so hungry that day. I dont "skip" meals, but if im not hungry i wont eat... i dont need to force myself to eat, however in recovery or when you need to gain weight that is exactly what you need to do. When you need to gain weight you cant skip meals, but when you eat intuitively its not skipping or eating less or cheating or any of that because you dont have a schedule, you eat according to what your body wants or needs that day.

Not everyone can eat intuitively, some people follow a meal plan for the rest of their lives but become a little less strict over time and thats ok as well. Some people just never learn to trust their body and automatically eat too much or too little unless they have some plan to follow, but do what is best for you!!


Breakfast
c.a 60g oatmeal with peanut butter, peanuts, banana and berries and oatmilk.
Banana & coffee
Banana, handful of nuts, coffee
Oatmeal c.a 60g-80g with banana, apple, coconut, peanut butter, nuts.
Snack
-
Protein shake (soy protein powder)


Lunch
Roast potatoes, mixed vegetables, ½-1 avocado, lentils and beans & sriracha sauce
1 baked whole sweet potatoes, 1 avocado, beans, lentils, oat cream, salad and veggies.



Oven baked veggies and potatoes, soy meat, lentils and chickpeas & ½ avocado.
4 slices of bread with vegan cheese and butter, 2 cinnamon buns.
Snack
3 slices of bread with vegan cheese and butter & a banana
Oatmeal c.a 60-80g with banana, nuts, chocolate, berries and oatmilk.
Baked sweet potatoe with peanut butter, banana, chocolate, berries. Might eat another banana later.
Mix of vegetables with oven roasted potatoes & soy meat and sunflower seeds.
Dinner
Lentil soup with vegetables, potatoes, beans (c.a 2 big portions) if I have I add oatcream.
Oven baked potatoes and veggies, soy meat, some form of vegetables, sunflower seeds. C.a 2 portions.
Rice paper rolls with salad, veggies, soy meat, avocado & a peanut butter sauce.
Wok with vegetables, beans, tofu , peanuts.
Snack
Chocolate (anywhere from 50g-150g), soya yoghurt with protein powder, berries and nuts
4 rice cakes with vegan cheese and butter.
Protein shake (soy protein powder), 500g soy yoghurt with lots of nuts and seeds and berries & 3 rice cakes with vegan butter and cheese.
Banana, berries, nuts, & chocolate & soy protein shake mixed with oatmilk.