Beginning to relapse - what to do

I was asked if i could write about what to do if you begin to relapse. But first off i'll post the two photos below which i think are very good to remember/keep in mind, because sometimes you do something such as not finish your whole dinner because you werent so hungry that day but then suddenly it becomes a compulsion to not finish your whole dinner any day, just because you can. Or you feel guilty after eating so you decide to go out for a run due to the guilt and even if you know you shouldnt because it is compensation you do it anyway and then that using behaviour only once becomes more frequent etc





When it comes to relapse others around you might not even notice that you are relapsing unless you begin to show signs or the eating disorder behaviours. So the best thing is that if you notice you are beginning to relapse, Talk to someone. Communicate. It can be hard to talk especially when the eating disorder voice/control begins to get stronger again and that old compulsions and habits are being used again. But you need to realise that if you dont try to stop the relapse at the beginning it will just worse and you will spiral down again, and that is most likely not a place you want to be at.

It can be good to think about what triggered you or caused you to relapse, because often there is a cause such as stress, low self esteem, maybe getting comments from people etc So knowing that triggered you or caused you to begin using eating disorder habits and coping mechanisms again can help you from falling back again later on in life.

Also be honest to yourself about the fact that you are relapsing. Be honest about what habits you have begun to use again and try to change them.  The habits and thoughts wont go away unless you make them go away, and that is tough, it is challenging but it is possible to fight them and face those fears and be free of them. But that means that you have to decide to change.

Dont accept half recovery or relapse. If you think you cant, then you cant. But if you think you can, then you can!!! You have to believe that you can fully recover and want to fully recover as well!!!

Dont tell yourself that "you dont want to be a burden" or "admit that you have fallen back again" or "think you arent strong when you were doing so well but now relapsing" or that "there is nothing wrong". First off, you arent a burden just because you relapse, however if you struggle in silence and keep falling down then it will become a burden eventually when instead you could have asked for help in the beginning and not have to fight your way back even longer. And also, relapse happens... infact relapse is alot more common than people think though not everyone admits they have relapse and instead just live a life of half recovery. But relapse is  nothing to be ashamed about, instead asking for help and making sure to keep fighting and not allowing yourself to fall back farther.

If you begin to develop another eating disorder, then make sure to talk to someone. It happens, peolpe who had anorexia can develop binge eating disorder or bulimia or orthorexia, or people who struggled with binge eating can develop anorexia it happens. But the important thing is to not be ashamed about it or think "wow, i had such self control and didnt eat anything, and now i cant stop myself from eating" or think "before i couldnt stop eating, now i dont eat at all so this is better when i dont eat/eat very little". Going from one eating disorder to another is not ok, and it happens so it is important to be honest about yourself and notice the warning signs and not be scared to speak up about it. I struggled with binge eating and purging for a few months and it was awful... going from barely eating at all, to suddenly eating everything in the cabinets and having to replace the food because i would eat whole loaves of bread, whole packages of cereal and even a whole cake, and i couldnt stop myself. But i had to realise the warning signs and that what i was doing was another eating disorder and the first thing to do was to eat regular meals and stop the purging and eventually the binges and craving for binges stopped.


When it comes to relapse the important thing to remember is that "one time" is not always one time. I.e if you feel guilty or very full after eating a meal and think, well i'll purge it will only be once, that is not always the case. Or you think, i'll skip a meal becuase you want to save calories.... that might not be the only time it happens. Stop the relapse before you fall further down and remember you arent weak for relapsing it happens, you are strong for fighting and hopefully fighting towards full recovery!!!

And last note, like mentioned earlier. Work on the things that caused the relapse, or things you know you might need to improve as well as working on your thoughts. Because food isnt the problem, thats your way of coping whether its only eating certain foods, restricting or binge eating... its about control and not so much about the food but things in your life that you need to work on!



I have many posts about relapse which might help, if you check out my relapse tag HERE

Relapsing with an eating disorder

I thought i would talk about relapsing.... it is very common during recovery. And some people say you need to relapse to truly recover, i dont believe thats true.

I say i've relapsed when i was sick, but when i think about it.... i never truly relapsed, because i was equally sick, all the time - though i did get sicker during the time. But i mean, when i was in inpatients, i never got better. There wasnt any improvement with me..... all i did was gain weight because i had to while i was an inpatient, and then as soon as i was home again i lost it all, and that was my plan all along.
  So its not like i truly got better, and then fell back again.
But the fact is i did go from inpatient to day patient and then back to inpatient and then day patient and so on.... and i only got sicker and more depressed. But still.... its almost like relapsing? (or maybe not)


But anyway, relapsing is normal unfortunatly.... and it just means you have to fight harder, because when you relapse, the voice in your head gets stronger and you listen to the voice, you become weaker. But instead, you need to become stronger, to fight back.... to know you want to recover, even if the voice in your head tells you that you dont want to recover.
    Make a list of all the good things about recovering, and all the bad things about your eating disorder.

And just because you relapse, doesnt mean that you just lie down and accept it... No, you fight back even harder. 
    Just because you've gone a few days/weeks where you've done things wrong, that doesnt mean you cant turn around and stop it.
  I mean you know what you're doing wrong. You make the conscious choice on listening to the voice in your head, its you who decides you'll skip lunch, or workout extra long etc. But its also you who can make the choice to eat ice cream with friends and just deal with the anxiety, or to eat that fear food, or to skip that workout. Its your choice...  thats something you need to remember.
  You have the choice to change your life.

Recovery is something you choose.



Its always your choice, even if it may not seem like it. I mean there is always the choice whether you cheat with your food/meal plan, or to skip a meal etc.
  But it is also your choice to do things right, and know that its you wwho will benefit frmo doing the right thing, but suffer the consequences of doing the wrong thing.



To prevent relapse, know your triggers... and look out for warning signs. 
  Like when you start feeling anxious around food/certain foods... then you need to start eating those foods, go against the anxiety. When you start cutting out food - My best advice - DONT.
  When you start looking at yourself and finding flaws.
When you skip a meal/snack.
When your working out and decide to do even more, even when you're tired.
Forcing yourself to workout even if you dont want to.
Avoiding siutations where there will be food involved

^¨Those are just some warning signs, which if you are a friend/family member of someone who is sick can look out for. Or even if it is you who is trying to recover, if you notice those types of things, then you want to stop with those things.
  

Here is :

Relapse prevention for anorexia and bulimia

The work of eating disorder recovery doesn’t end once you’ve adopted healthy habits. It’s important to take steps to maintain your progress and prevent relapse.

• Develop a solid support system. Surround yourself with people who support you and want to see you healthy and happy. Avoid people that drain your energy, encourage disordered eating behaviors, or make you feel bad about yourself.
• Stick with your eating disorder treatment plan. Don’t neglect therapy or other components of your treatment, even if you’re doing better. Follow the recommendations of your treatment team.
• Fill your life with positive activities. Make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Try something you’ve always wanted to do, develop a new skill, pick up a fun hobby, or volunteer in your community. The more rewarding your life, the less desire you’ll have to focus on food and weight.
• Avoid pro-ana and pro-mia websites. Don’t visit websites that promote or glorify anorexia and bulimia. These sites are run by people who want excuses to continue down their destructive path. The “support” they offer is dangerous and will only get in the way of your recovery.
• Identify your “triggers.” Are you more likely to revert to your old, destructive behaviors during the holidays, exam week, or swimsuit season? Know what your triggers are, and have a plan for dealing with them, such as going to therapy more often or asking for extra support from family and friends.

SOURCE: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eating_disorder_treatment.htm

How to take care of yourself after a relapse

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AFTER A LAPSE

1. Recognize that lapsing is a normal part of recovery. 

I don’t say that to justify lapsing or use as a cop out when things get difficult. I say it as a reminder that your recovery doesn’t have to be perfect in order to produce results. That said, no one’s recovery is perfect. Everyone has set backs and struggles. Everyone makes mistakes, messes up, and reverts to old behaviors — not because they’re weak or incapable, but because recovery is really, really difficult. Your behaviors helped you cope with trauma and incredible emotional pain. They allowed you to numb out and they kept you afloat when you felt like you were drowning. Letting go of something that helped you survive for so long is not easy. And it doesn’t happen over the course of a few days or months. It’s terrifying, painful, incredibly challenging, and it takes time. So be compassionate with yourself and your process. You’re doing the best you can to fight this and recover and it’s all you can ask of yourself. 

2. Use the lapse as a learning experience. 

You can’t go back in time and change the fact that you lapsed, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can wallow in self-pity, beat yourself up, and use what happened as an excuse to continue using behaviors. Or you can choose to use what happened as a learning experience. You can look at the lapse as an opportunity to collect important information about what triggers you to use behaviors and what you need in the moment to avoid a future lapse. 

3. Be curious.

Judging yourself for having a lapse doesn’t get you anywhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. Instead of feeding the cycle of self-hatred, treat yourself with compassionate curiosity and start asking questions:

What need did you have in the moment that wasn’t being met? Were you feeling lonely? Sad? Depressed? Angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Rejected? Invisible? Inadequate? When you turned to behaviors to cope, what were you really looking for? Did you need to feel safe? Did you need a way to express your feelings? Did you need to feel seen and heard? Did you need a distraction? Comfort? Control? How could you have gotten that need met in a non self-destructive way? And how can you take care of yourself in the future when these triggers come up again?

You don’t have to know the answer to all of these questions right now, but it’s important to start exploring and being curious.

4. Treat yourself like you would a friend.

If you had a friend or loved one who lapsed, you wouldn’t put them down. You wouldn’t call them a failure. You wouldn’t see them as worthless. And you wouldn’t discount all the progress they had made. You would treat them with kindness and compassion. You would give them a hug, remind them of how far they’ve come, and reassure them that just because they had one lapse doesn’t mean they can’t turn things around and get back on track. 

Well, you’re not an exception. You deserve to be treated with the same forgiveness and love you would so willingly give to anyone else who was struggling. So when your self-hating thoughts get loud and tell you that you’re a failure for lapsing, challenge them. And if in the moment it’s difficult to be nice to yourself, think of what you would say to someone you care about and apply those positive counters to your own thoughts. 

5. Reach out.

Don’t isolate and withdraw. It may feel safer, but it only perpetuates the pain you feel and keeps you stuck. In order to get back on track, you have to talk about what happened. You have to be honest with yourself and your support network. You have to give yourself permission to ask for help, use your voice, and make your needs known. Keeping secrets keeps us sick. If we want to heal, we have to break the silence. 

6. Get extra support.

If you’re struggling, you deserve to ask for help. Denying yourself extra support when things start going down hill isn’t noble or self-sacrificing. It’s self-destruction, and it’s a sure-fire way to put yourself at risk for another lapse. There is nothing shameful about asking for more help. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a disappointment. And it doesn’t make you a burden.It makes you someone with the courage to be honest and the strength to make recovery a priority. It makes you determined and admirable and brave. It’s self-care and in order to get back on track and heal, it’s imperative. 

7. Focus on progress, not perfection. 

One lapse does NOT discount all of the days you went without using behaviors. It doesn’t make you weak or incapable or inadequate. It doesn’t make you a failure or erase your progress, and it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t get better. All a lapse means is that you were hurting so deeply and didn’t know how else to cope. It was a bad decision, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. The lapse was just a bump in your road to recovery, but it doesn’t mean you have to start all over. You’re just continuing your journey right where you left off. So don’t give up. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe, be patient, and trust that as long as you keep pushing forward, reaching out for help, and picking yourself back up, no matter how many times you lapse, you can and will recover.

internal-acceptance-movement: 

If you're relapsing - ask for help before you slip too far

One of the important things you need to remember is that if you feel you are relapsing, ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness, it is not failure and it is not something you need to be ashamed about. In actuality, you are being strong for admitting that what you are doing is wrong and that you need help. That something might have triggered you, or life might have been too tough or some other reason and it has made you resort to old ways. Relapse happens it can't always be avoided, however what can be avoided is falling back into the same state you were in or worse, just by talking to someone and admitting that you are struggling.

It is also important to remember that using a bheaviour just once, isnt ok. If you begin to feel anxiety over food, if you skip a meal because you feel you werent worth food or you felt too much anxiety to eat, that is not ok. If you 'ok' a behaviour or action, suddenly it becomes normal again and you wont know why you are skipping meals, just that you are. It is not ok to purge just once or to do that extra workout to burn off that muffin (however, having more energy because you eat more is not the same thing as feeling guilty for eating more and feeling the need to burn more calories by forcing yourself to workout), or to avoid going to a party because you are scared of the food. If those types of thoughts pop into your head or you begin to do things like this again, then you need to be aware of these and not let them continue.

You know yourself best and if you have been free from certain thoughts or behaviours and they begin to pop back into your head or your life, you need to take control and stop them from controlling you again. It can go so quickly, from skipping a meal once to suddenly skipping breakfast and dinner or avoiding friends because you might have to eat.



^^Be aware of these signs and if you feel that you are in the yellow or red, then reach out for help.

Dont think that you have to be independant or strong and over come things on your own, it is ok to ask for help, infact it is recommended. You might lose trust if you have relapsed for a while and tried to keep it secret, then it might mean that your parents have to keep an eye on you or take away a bit of your freedom, but that is what is going to help you.

If you are struggling or you know you have began to relapse, ask for help. Whether you personally talk to someone, send a message or write  a note to someone, it is importnat to get the help and support you need. Because if you let things continue to spiral down they will just get worse and worse, and that is not worth it.

How to prevent a relapse (eating disorders)

Some people say that relapse is inevitable and that it will happen during recovery. I dont believe this is true however. I did relapse myself during recovery, but i still dont think its true for everyone. I believe that some people can decide to recover and keep making that choice and never relapse.

To prevent a relapse it is all about being aware of your thinking, choices, actions, triggers and coping mechanisms. They all sort of come together but i thought i would write about how to prevent a relapse in this post, so maybe you can be more aware of these things in the future or even right now.

The first thing is To be aware of your thinking and choices. You go out to a burger place and you order a salad when the rest of your friends order burgers, Think about your choice... was it because you actually wanted a salad and that at right at that moment you didnt want to eat a burger but you know you might eat a burger in the next few days. Or was it because you are scared of the calories in a burger? Or is it because you know you are going to have dessert after dinner so you want to compensate and eat less during the day. Alot of choices can be made subconsciously, but i believe deep down you know why you made the choice.
 
Did you choose to say no to going for coffee and cake with friends and instead go and workout because at that moment you wanted to workout and thought it would be more fun than being with your friends or was it because you felt you had to, that you would get panic because you didnt workout. Or was it because you didnt want to have to be forced to eat cake or something else.

When you begin to relapse your thinking begins to change as well... you go from having 5 potatoes to 3 potatoes and suddenly eating just one potatoe scares you and you cant always answer why. Or the only answer you have is that potatoe has too many carbs or you think eating potatoes will make you fat (i can assure you none of these things will happen if you eat potatoes in moderation i.e not eating 20 potatoes each day!)
   If you crave chocolate but tell yourself no that you arent allowed chocolate, what is your reason behind it?  That you already ate chocolate an hour ago?  Or because you are scared of the energy content of chocolate or becauase you think you cant eat it because you havent exercised? etc
 If you start getting thoughts like that, what you need to do instead is say...now im going to eat chocolate 3 times per week , or more if that is what i crave and i am going to keep doing that until eating chocolate no longer gives me anxiety or makes me scared.

You need to fight what it is that is beginning to cause you anxiety and fear again, because if you dont. The anxiety and fear will become stronger and it will be harder to fight the longer you let it control you again.
  You need to remember that being scared of certain foods or not eating certain food groups or not going out to eat because you are scared of calories or getting fat, that isnt healthy. Those are sick thoughts and they need to be fought.

Also... if you ever start getting thoughts of compensation or feeling alot of guilt after eating or not exercising, then you need to make sure to fight those feelings and thoughts right away. Dont compensate and sit down and think rationally..... why am i feeling this way? What has triggered me? How can i change it?

If your behaviour begins resembling ones that you had when you were sick such as weighing food, doing 50 sit ups every 10 minutes or drinking x glass of water with meals then you have to be aware of them and change them before they begin controlling you again. Dont slip back into bad habits because that is step one of relapse... when you start doing things, often subconsciouly which you did when you were sick. Instead, you need to become more conscious and change your habits and what you are doing. If you ever find that you are doing something unconsciously such as doing 50 squats before you go to bed and you find yourself doing them without really realising it, instead STOP. Sit down and think about why you did them in the first place? What was the aim of it? Did you really want to do them or was it just a habit, compulsion or anxiety filled  habit that made you do them?

Its also important to be aware of triggers. The further you come into the healthy stage and recovered the less triggers you have because you have learnt to face the triggers so that they are no longer triggers or you have coping mechanisms for them. But its important to be aware of what triggers you so that you can stop it and cope.
  For example, maybe you get triggered by watching the Victorias secret fashion show.... well then avoid watching it. Know that it will just cause you more pain than joy and that you get nothing positive out of it. So why watch it? or maybe you get triggered by some online accounts for some reason or other, then delete them from yourlife... maybe you get triggered by your own account? Maybe you had a recovery(slash... not so recovery?) blog that triggers you when you log onto it... then delete it, start something new. If things trigger you, then you have to be able to deal and cope with them and not just resort to bad methods. Instead find healthier coping mechanisms which can help you.

Its also important to listen to friends and family, at times they can notice you changing before you realise it yourself. And dont get angry if someone mentions you have lost weight or that you seem to be focusing alot on exercise or food, instead take that advice onboard and think about it..... are you focusing too much on food? Are you isolating yourself from the world just to exercise? Are you slipping back into your eating disorder?

The most important thing is to be AWARE. Be aware of your thoughts, actions, choices, behaviours. Dont just assume that something is ok or normal, infact be ready to change things. Dont just settle for the comfortable because that is not always best.



THIS & THIS post can also help!

Answer - relapsing

Hi izzy. So recently ive found myself compensating. Im going home from school for a day this weekend and I know I will eat "bad" ie at a restaurant and probably dessert. Ive been eating a certain amount of calories(although not as many as I should be) and ive notice that gradually I feel like I shouldn't reach the number and that its more of a limit as opposed to a number that I should be going over. I thought that I conquered most of the im scared to eat bad thoughts but now I notice that their more frequent and im compensating more(eating a fruit instead of a granola bar or something). I feel like ive gone backwards. I know you always talk about how if your scared of something you should eat it. Should I do this or...? 

Well the first thing is that you have realised what you are doing is wrong and that you are slightly relapsing. Which is important and now its up to you to change it.... you know what you are doing isnt right so either you try to change it and face your fears and anxiety or you continue the way you go and relapse and its YOU who takes the consequences for it.

   You need to be stronger than your ED and even if its scary you need to eat that granola bar or the snack which you should be eating. Tell yourself that you have to and you want to... that if you want to eat a fruit, then its going to be extra. It might be scary because the ED voice has gotten stronger but you need to overcome the fear. Ask yourself what will happen if you eat the granola bar? What will happen if you eat normal portions for lunch and not compensate?

  What is it that you are scared of will happen? And will you actually gain weight just from going out to eat in a restaurant? Some people do it several times a week and nothing happens to their body/weight. To become stronger and to recover you need to do the things that scare you. Recovery isnt easy, but it can be as easy as you make it.... for some it just takes a few weeks because they find their goal and motivation and keep working towards it. Overcoming their fears and conquering their demons.

Its also good to realise that labelling food as 'good' or 'bad' is not a good idea.... what is good and bad? I mean we all know eating 5 pizzas in a row might not be so healthy, but going out to a restaurant and eating both a main course and a dessert (maybe an appetizer as well)..... what is so wrong or bad with that? Nothing. Its normal food and nothing scary about it. Now is a good time for you to do something that scares you and realise that you will be ok - eat at the restaurant, dont compensate and try to enjoy your time with your family and away from school. If it helps - talk to your family. I can highly recommend that.... maybe going to school at the moment isnt the best idea if its too stressful. Maybe you need to take a break and focus on your mental health, and to stop yourself from relapsing. After all its your mental health and your life. If you dont overcome your fears, your ED will still control you.

Eat the food, find a way to cope with anxiety or guilt and keep taking one step forward at a time! Someday you will have to face your fear foods and your fears, so why not now?

Relapse signs

Thoughts during my relapse

Some old posts from when i was relapsing:
  I thought it might be interesting to read as i know i have had many telling me that they are relapsing or in half recovery. But stay strong. Fight your ED. Dont be scared of the anxiety, that is something i have learned in recovery. That you have to face your fears head on... you cant let your ED control you.

No, things arent easy right now... theres a part of me which is fighting back, telling me that i shouldnt eat. That im too fat. that im everything wrong. everything horrible.

   And trying to ignore that voice, is like trying to ignore the fact that someone is throwing bricks at you.

But in the end.. you get used to it, and you ignore the pain. thats what im doing.

I can feel this bubble of unhappiness which sits inside me, and everytime i look at myself in the mirror, or jsut look down at my body, i get this overwhelming feeling of hatred.

But im fighting forward and trying to keep going. 

  for this week anyway.

I wont let Ana win, i wont let Ana take this week with my best friend away from me. But i cant promise that things will go forward when they're gone.

  Something has happened. Old memories have come back to me, and they're haunting me. Ana is back in my head.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its hard, to want to eat when all I want to do is lose weight. Its hard, to want to recover when everyone is, talking, about how fat they are. well look at me? Its hard to relax when everyone is up and moving and exercising. Its hard, to drink the energy drinks when I dont even feel small Its, hard to wake up in the morning and face my body. Its hard knowing that people think I'm an inspiration and look up to me when I fel like such a failure. Its hard pretending that things, are fine when I just want to break down, and cry. Its hard to lose weight. Its hard to smile when I can feel a lump in my throat. Its hard to listen to people saying, that they need to eat less that they need to gym more and lose weight. It feels like everyone has a, right to complain about their body - but me. It feels like everyones sick. loss of sick underweight people walk around, town looking small so why did I have, to go up in weight- and not them? I hate having the stress of mando. Can't eat to little. Can't exercise too much. I want to tone up my body. I feel like a, fat blob. I hate acting normal when I'm struggling, inside . I hate feeling fat. Its a struggle I'm fighting my self trying to carry on. But its, hard. I hate knowing that Ana, can still get such, a grip on me that it feels like choking. Gasping for air. Trying to see the light and positive, things But right now it feels like I'm falling. And its, hard, to pick my self up again. Save me from my self?

  

Relapsing

I thought i would talk about relapsing.... it is very common during recovery. And some people say you need to relapse to truly recover, i dont believe thats true.

I say i've relapsed when i was sick, but when i think about it.... i never truly relapsed, because i was equally sick, all the time - though i did get sicker during the time. But i mean, when i was in inpatients, i never got better. There wasnt any improvement with me..... all i did was gain weight because i had to while i was an inpatient, and then as soon as i was home again i lost it all, and that was my plan all along.
  So its not like i truly got better, and then fell back again.
But the fact is i did go from inpatient to day patient and then back to inpatient and then day patient and so on.... and i only got sicker and more depressed. But still.... its almost like relapsing? (or maybe not)



But anyway, relapsing is normal.... and it just means you have to fight harder, because when you relapse, the voice in your head gets stronger and you listen to the voice, you become weaker. But instead, you need to become stronger, to fight back.... to know you want to recover, even if the voice in your head tells you that you dont want to recover.
    Make a list of all the good things about recovering, and all the bad things about anorexia.

And just because you relapse, doesnt mean that you just lie down and accept it... No, you fight back even harder. 
    Just because you've gone a few days/weeks where you've done things wrong, that doesnt mean you cant turn around and stop it.
  I mean you know what you're doing wrong. You make the conscious choice on listening to the voice in your head, its you who decides you'll skip lunch, or workout extra long etc. But its also you who can make the choice to eat ice cream with friends and just deal with the anxiety, or to eat that fear food, or to skip that workout. Its your choice...  thats something you need to remember.
  You have the choice to change your life.

Recovery is something you choose.



Its always your choice, even if it may not seem like it. I mean there is always the choice whether you cheat with your food/meal plan, or to skip a meal etc.
  But it is also your choice to do things right, and know that its you wwho will benefit frmo doing the right thing, but suffer the consequences of doing the wrong thing.



To prevent relapse, know your triggers... and look out for warning signs. 
  Like when you start feeling anxious around food/certain foods... then you need to start eating those foods, go against the anxiety. When you start cutting out food - My best advice - DONT.
  When you start looking at yourself and finding flaws.
When you skip a meal/snack.
When your working out and decide to do even more, even when you're tired.
Forcing yourself to workout even if you dont want to.
Avoiding siutations where there will be food involved

^¨Those are just some warning signs, which if you are a friend/family member of someone who is sick can look out for. Or even if it is you who is trying to recover, if you notice those types of things, then you want to stop with those things.
  

Here is :

Relapse prevention for anorexia and bulimia

The work of eating disorder recovery doesn’t end once you’ve adopted healthy habits. It’s important to take steps to maintain your progress and prevent relapse.

• Develop a solid support system. Surround yourself with people who support you and want to see you healthy and happy. Avoid people that drain your energy, encourage disordered eating behaviors, or make you feel bad about yourself.
• Stick with your eating disorder treatment plan. Don’t neglect therapy or other components of your treatment, even if you’re doing better. Follow the recommendations of your treatment team.
• Fill your life with positive activities. Make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Try something you’ve always wanted to do, develop a new skill, pick up a fun hobby, or volunteer in your community. The more rewarding your life, the less desire you’ll have to focus on food and weight.
• Avoid pro-ana and pro-mia websites. Don’t visit websites that promote or glorify anorexia and bulimia. These sites are run by people who want excuses to continue down their destructive path. The “support” they offer is dangerous and will only get in the way of your recovery.
• Identify your “triggers.” Are you more likely to revert to your old, destructive behaviors during the holidays, exam week, or swimsuit season? Know what your triggers are, and have a plan for dealing with them, such as going to therapy more often or asking for extra support from family and friends.

SOURCE: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eating_disorder_treatment.htm

Relapsing

Its better to try and fail a few times, than to never try at all.

Some people think that relapsing during recovery is inevitable, thats not really what i think.... As it depends from person to person. Though relapsing is very common, or going from one eating disorder to another.
 
I dont think i ever relapsed,  as i just sort of tricked and fooled everyone for the year that i went back and forth from inpatient to day patient and back in again to inpatient ... and so it continued. I gained weight while i was an inpatient, as i had no choice... and then as soon as i was a day patient, i stopped eating again and lost all the weight. So it wasn't like i was trying to recover....
  However, i did have a bit of a slip up/relapse when i was half recovered. I went through a period of not eating enough, then binging and then purging, and i began losing weight again. I was still half sick at that time, but all my ED thoughts were coming back stronger. I  remember feeling so ashamed of myself.... as i felt so out of control, and i knew that if i continued what i was doing i would end up back at Mando... the place which i had worked so hard to get away from. And the thing which helped motivate me to stop with what i had begun to do was my blog... all my readers who looked up to me and saw me as an inspiration... and what was i doing? I was beginning with bad behaviours again... that period only lasted a few weeks before i was back on track to recovery.
   I didnt write about what was going on at the time (start of 2012), as i felt so embarrassed about it, especially the binging part. But since then, i have written several posts about it... because relapsing/slipping up/going from one eating disorder to another, is not something to be ashamed about.... and its something you need to talk about.

For some people however, they can spend years trying and failing.... and just giving up on recovery. But never give up. If you give up, then you'll never recover.... If you don't believe you can recover, then you won't
   You have to believe in yourself... You have to want to recover.
 
Set up goals for yourself to keep you motivated in recovery.... to keep you going.

If you feel you are relapsing, then dont feel bad about yourself... but dont just give up. Instead, realize that you are relapsing and take control of the situation. It is hard. But you have to be strong.
  If you realise that you start getting anxiety around certain foods, which you had started eating again, or start running more often because you feel guilty for eating, or start skipping snacks.... then take control. Make sure you eat.... eat what is on your meal plan. Even if you feel like the anxiety is going to kill you.... remember it is not going to do that.
  You have 2 options, you  can just give up..... let yourself relapse and spend even more time sick.... or you can fight back. Do things which give you anxiety, things that make you stronger and your ED weaker.
  You have to do things which scare you and give you anxiety...

Recover is not a stroll in the park.. its a mental battle. You have to push yourself to do all these things which scare you, but that makes you stronger. And make recovery just a little bit easier.

Relapsing doesnt happen to everyone, but if it happens to you... dont give up. Dont just lie down and decide that fine, being sick is better than being healthy....?
  
Remember, if you're not recovering from you eating disorder, you're dying from it.

Also.... here are some famous people who failed several times before they finally succedeed... (Yes, i know its not the same thing....) but if they had just given up after their first set back, then Apple, Walt Disney or even Harry Potter would not have been made....  So think about that, what are you giving up when you decide to just give up?

How to take care of yourself of a relapse

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AFTER A LAPSE

1. Recognize that lapsing is a normal part of recovery. 

I don’t say that to justify lapsing or use as a cop out when things get difficult. I say it as a reminder that your recovery doesn’t have to be perfect in order to produce results. That said, no one’s recovery is perfect. Everyone has set backs and struggles. Everyone makes mistakes, messes up, and reverts to old behaviors — not because they’re weak or incapable, but because recovery is really, really difficult. Your behaviors helped you cope with trauma and incredible emotional pain. They allowed you to numb out and they kept you afloat when you felt like you were drowning. Letting go of something that helped you survive for so long is not easy. And it doesn’t happen over the course of a few days or months. It’s terrifying, painful, incredibly challenging, and it takes time. So be compassionate with yourself and your process. You’re doing the best you can to fight this and recover and it’s all you can ask of yourself. 

2. Use the lapse as a learning experience. 

You can’t go back in time and change the fact that you lapsed, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can wallow in self-pity, beat yourself up, and use what happened as an excuse to continue using behaviors. Or you can choose to use what happened as a learning experience. You can look at the lapse as an opportunity to collect important information about what triggers you to use behaviors and what you need in the moment to avoid a future lapse. 

3. Be curious.

Judging yourself for having a lapse doesn’t get you anywhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. Instead of feeding the cycle of self-hatred, treat yourself with compassionate curiosity and start asking questions:

What need did you have in the moment that wasn’t being met? Were you feeling lonely? Sad? Depressed? Angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Rejected? Invisible? Inadequate? When you turned to behaviors to cope, what were you really looking for? Did you need to feel safe? Did you need a way to express your feelings? Did you need to feel seen and heard? Did you need a distraction? Comfort? Control? How could you have gotten that need met in a non self-destructive way? And how can you take care of yourself in the future when these triggers come up again?

You don’t have to know the answer to all of these questions right now, but it’s important to start exploring and being curious.

4. Treat yourself like you would a friend.

If you had a friend or loved one who lapsed, you wouldn’t put them down. You wouldn’t call them a failure. You wouldn’t see them as worthless. And you wouldn’t discount all the progress they had made. You would treat them with kindness and compassion. You would give them a hug, remind them of how far they’ve come, and reassure them that just because they had one lapse doesn’t mean they can’t turn things around and get back on track. 

Well, you’re not an exception. You deserve to be treated with the same forgiveness and love you would so willingly give to anyone else who was struggling. So when your self-hating thoughts get loud and tell you that you’re a failure for lapsing, challenge them. And if in the moment it’s difficult to be nice to yourself, think of what you would say to someone you care about and apply those positive counters to your own thoughts. 

5. Reach out.

Don’t isolate and withdraw. It may feel safer, but it only perpetuates the pain you feel and keeps you stuck. In order to get back on track, you have to talk about what happened. You have to be honest with yourself and your support network. You have to give yourself permission to ask for help, use your voice, and make your needs known. Keeping secrets keeps us sick. If we want to heal, we have to break the silence. 

6. Get extra support.

If you’re struggling, you deserve to ask for help. Denying yourself extra support when things start going down hill isn’t noble or self-sacrificing. It’s self-destruction, and it’s a sure-fire way to put yourself at risk for another lapse. There is nothing shameful about asking for more help. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a disappointment. And it doesn’t make you a burden.It makes you someone with the courage to be honest and the strength to make recovery a priority. It makes you determined and admirable and brave. It’s self-care and in order to get back on track and heal, it’s imperative. 

7. Focus on progress, not perfection. 

One lapse does NOT discount all of the days you went without using behaviors. It doesn’t make you weak or incapable or inadequate. It doesn’t make you a failure or erase your progress, and it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t get better. All a lapse means is that you were hurting so deeply and didn’t know how else to cope. It was a bad decision, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. The lapse was just a bump in your road to recovery, but it doesn’t mean you have to start all over. You’re just continuing your journey right where you left off. So don’t give up. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe, be patient, and trust that as long as you keep pushing forward, reaching out for help, and picking yourself back up, no matter how many times you lapse, you can and will recover.

internal-acceptance-movement: 

Relapsing

Its better to try and fail a few times, than to never try at all.

Some people think that relapsing during recovery is inevitable, thats not really what i think.... As it depends from person to person. Though relapsing is very common, or going from one eating disorder to another.
 
I dont think i ever relapsed,  as i just sort of tricked and fooled everyone for the year that i went back and forth from inpatient to day patient and back in again to inpatient ... and so it continued. I gained weight while i was an inpatient, as i had no choice... and then as soon as i was a day patient, i stopped eating again and lost all the weight. So it wasn't like i was trying to recover....
  However, i did have a bit of a slip up/relapse when i was half recovered. I went through a period of not eating enough, then binging and then purging, and i began losing weight again. I was still half sick at that time, but all my ED thoughts were coming back stronger. I  remember feeling so ashamed of myself.... as i felt so out of control, and i knew that if i continued what i was doing i would end up back at Mando... the place which i had worked so hard to get away from. And the thing which helped motivate me to stop with what i had begun to do was my blog... all my readers who looked up to me and saw me as an inspiration... and what was i doing? I was beginning with bad behaviours again... that period only lasted a few weeks before i was back on track to recovery.
   I didnt write about what was going on at the time (start of 2012), as i felt so embarrassed about it, especially the binging part. But since then, i have written several posts about it... because relapsing/slipping up/going from one eating disorder to another, is not something to be ashamed about.... and its something you need to talk about.

For some people however, they can spend years trying and failing.... and just giving up on recovery. But never give up. If you give up, then you'll never recover.... If you don't believe you can recover, then you won't
   You have to believe in yourself... You have to want to recover.
 
Set up goals for yourself to keep you motivated in recovery.... to keep you going.

If you feel you are relapsing, then dont feel bad about yourself... but dont just give up. Instead, realize that you are relapsing and take control of the situation. It is hard. But you have to be strong.
  If you realise that you start getting anxiety around certain foods, which you had started eating again, or start running more often because you feel guilty for eating, or start skipping snacks.... then take control. Make sure you eat.... eat what is on your meal plan. Even if you feel like the anxiety is going to kill you.... remember it is not going to do that.
  You have 2 options, you  can just give up..... let yourself relapse and spend even more time sick.... or you can fight back. Do things which give you anxiety, things that make you stronger and your ED weaker.
  You have to do things which scare you and give you anxiety...

Recover is not a stroll in the park.. its a mental battle. You have to push yourself to do all these things which scare you, but that makes you stronger. And make recovery just a little bit easier.

Relapsing doesnt happen to everyone, but if it happens to you... dont give up. Dont just lie down and decide that fine, being sick is better than being healthy....?
 
Remember, if you're not recovering from you eating disorder, you're dying from it.

Also.... here are some famous people who failed several times before they finally succedeed... (Yes, i know its not the same thing....) but if they had just given up after their first set back, then Apple, Walt Disney or even Harry Potter would not have been made....  So think about that, what are you giving up when you decide to just give up?