7 body positive life lessons from a child

7 Body-Positive Life Lessons from a Child

By Michelle Zaydlin–As we grow older and are exposed to societal influences, we learn to criticize different parts of our bodies. Yet, when you talk to a child they seem to have a totally different perspective. Working with children has taught me so many lessons about loving my body and has opened my eyes to the beauty of thinking like a kid.

1. Your legs are the best because they let you walk, jump, skip and run. Your legs give you strength so you can go for a walk with your family to the park, jump on a trampoline, skip through the grass or run to the swing set. Your legs are powerful and strong and should be appreciated.
2. The best part of everyone’s body is their smile. Everyone has a different smile that makes him or her unique! A smile shows happiness and is even better when it’s with a laugh. A smile can brighten everyone’s day and the best part is that you always have it with you!
3. Your nose is great because you can smell chocolate chip cookies and other tasty treats. When you walk into the house and it smells like warm chocolate chip cookies, your nose gets so happy! Without your nose you wouldn’t be able to smell the delicious cookies baking, the flowers in a field or scratch and sniff stickers!
4. I love my arms because they give big hugs! It doesn’t matter that a kid’s arms might be smaller than a grown-up’s arms or that one kid’s arms might be longer than another’s. The important part is that they give hugs! They can give hugs to anyone–to show love, to show friendship or to make someone happy. Your arms are strong and can give so much love with a simple motion.
5. I love my hair because my mom puts it into pretty braids and it makes me unique. The cool part about hair is that it comes in different colors, textures and lengths. You can style it in different ways and it always looks different and pretty, and you can always change the style. It can show your personality and make you stand out, which is important since we are all unique.
6. My stomach is great because it holds all the yummy food I eat.Even though grown-ups worry about their tummy being too big, I think it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you get the food you need to have energy and that the food you eat tastes good. I love that my tummy gets to hold all my favorite foods!
7. I love my body because without it I wouldn’t be me!

Societies views and standards of beauty - fat shaming and fat phobia

My sister once told me a great thing when i was trying to explain why i liked tanned skin better than pale skin. She told me, That the reason i like tanned skin better is because that is what society and media had told me looks better. The people who are deemed 'better looking' often have a tan. Also things such as muscles and contours look better with a tan as well as there is more of a glow. Whether i believe it or not, media has unconsciously afffected me and told me that tanned skin looks better.
  I then replied by saying, Not everyone likes tanned skin. There are many people who prefer their natural skin colour. My sister replied by saying, But then those people are 'outsiders' they are different and not the same. And people dont like being different, its natural for people want to stick together and be similar. And eventually, the different becomes a trend or hype when too many people feel the need to rebel and be different. And then it becomes not so different, just a different trend.




There was a time when skinnier were women were mocked and skinny was not the trend, instead it was curves and a bigger form which was the 'trend'. So skinny women often tried to eat more to gain weight, look like the trend.

Now a days the trend for women has become a lean, toned and athletic look which puts ALOT of pressure on women because not only do they need to be skinny and have a low body fat (Preferable an unhealthy body fat procent according to media) but they also need to have muscles... but of course, not be 'too strong', because that is unattractive and intimidating.

I believe the reason we see skinny as beautiful and the skinned the better is because that is what society has told us. Society and media have completely messed up our view of bodies and body image. There is an extreme fat phobia within society and there is  standard body image which is accepted and seen as beauty, everything else isn't good enough. But it's also the fact that we might not see ourselves or others as they actually are. 

When I was sick and had body dysmorphia I did not see myself as I truly was..... and it took a long time until I could actually see pictures of myself as underweight and actually think I looked too skinny. I thought I looked fine, not unhealthy or too skinny and it didn't help when I got comments on my blog telling me I wasn't that skinny despite having an extremely low BMI. But that just shows how messed up people's body image is... when they can look at someone with a BMI of 13 and say, "you're not that skinny." Or "you don't look so underweight " and unfortunately,  that is what some people think.  Though that type of thinking is signs of an unhealthy ming because normal people wuth healthy minds can look at someone underweight and see that they are underweight and their body is not so healthy. But when you have a sick mind, you can't. .... and that is something you need to work with. There will always be people who are underweight, whether it's from an illness, eating disorder etc and there will be photoshopped and too skinny models in the magazines and media. There is nothing you can do about it apart from work with your own thoughts and body image. Some people have an extreme hate and dislike of anyone who is considered fat, but you know what. .... people are more than their bodies. Am I saying that it's ok to be obese, no its not as that is just as unhealthy as being underweight. But having a higher weight or BMI or being bigger than the standard doesn't make you ugly or unaccepted.

I believe more body love and acceptance is needed in society and media. To not shame skinny people, to not bring down overweight /bigger people. .... but instead be positive about all body image. There are illnesses which prevent people from gaining weight or losing weight and that shouldn't mean that they get treated differently.

You need to try to think rationally and logically. An underweight body is not a healthy body (though of course weight and BMI aren't everything. ). Work on loving yourself, not letting society rule your thoughts.  Look at different body images and people of different size and compliment them.... see the positive things in their body. Be body positive, be accepting of other peoples bodies. You may have a prefered look, that is ok. I mean people are naturally attracted to different people, and different people like different things and that is ok. But its not ok to just hate other peoples bodies or other people based on their bodies.... then you need to work with your own thoughts and your own mind. It takes time, but the best thing is to focus on being body positive about yourself as well as other peoples bodies. Realise that there is more than one body shape and that skinny doesnt mean best or perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect body anyway.

(Though of course, if there is an actual reason to comment about someone being underweight or overweight... if their is suspicion about a person having an eating disorder then someone needs to talk to them. But blatantly commenting about their appearance or telling them to eat more/less wont help anything)

Focus on your positives not your negatives

We all have our flaws. Things we dislike about ourselves.

I am sure we could all write a list filled with our negatives and the things we dislike about ourselves which is 5 times longer than the list of positives. But thats not how it should be.

I am at the stage of self love where that is not the case for me... of course i have things i dislike about myself and things i am self conscious about. Ive always hated my smile and my face from the side as well as my legs. But i've come to realise that hating them wont make me feel better.

There are far better things to focus on in life than worry about how my legs look in certain jeans or shorts. Who cares if there are scars or cellulite on them, in the end its only me who notices those things. It was 2013/2014 when i finally learnt to accept my legs and love them for how they work, what they can do as well as how they look, and its still the same now :)

I focus on my positives. I focus on other peoples positives and see the good things in other people.

Infact i am sometimes told that i am too positive because i never say anything bad about other people and even if someone is mean or mean to me i try to see their good sides and positives. I compliment others when it is a sincere compliment - which is often. I want to make others feel positive and happy as well, spread some positivity!

Ooopps, a bit of a tangent up there! I know its easy to get caught up in your own flaws, the things you dislike about yourself. The things you want to change.... but it wont bring you happiness or peace if you just focus on those things. You get too caught up in the negative, can never accept a compliment because you just see your bad sides. Which also leads to... dont compare your everyday to other peoples highlights. Everyone is different.

Dont even compare yourself to your friends or family.... everyone is different heights, weights, sizes, age. People are good at different things, that is what makes us unique. So who cares if one of your friends seems to be good at everything or one friend is really good at hair and make up and you can barely put on concealer (welcome to my life;)). We are unique and different and we all have our specialities and things we consider flaws - though they really arent. Because they make us who we are!

There is no such thing as perfect and i can guarantee you most people have something which they like less about themselves... and if they dont, that is awesome! Good for them, thats the way it should be really. But we are brought up in a society which tells us that we have 101 flaws which need to be fixed but we wont be happy even when that is done.

Lets focus on positivity.

Compliment people.

Compliment YOURSELF.

Say 5 good things about yourself in the morning and evenings.

And most important: SMILE

Be kind to yourself

Right now - or when you have the time, go to a mirror and look at yourself and tell yourself that you are beautiful.

It doesnt matter whether you have to fake it, whether it feels wrong or you are lying to yourself. Instead think it... whisper it... say it out loud. Be comfortable in your own body, be ok with looking in the mirror. Be happy with yourself and your body. It doesnt magically happen over night, its a process. A process of telling yourself that you are ok just the way you are, that you have a healthy body and your aim is a healthy and happy mind.
  If you dont try and work towards a healthy mind and body positivity then you wont achieve it either... its like learning a new subject or a new language, you dont get better by avoiding it. You wont get better at a new language if you decide to close your book and not do the work, instead its best to surround yourself with people speaking that language. Do a little work everyday, practise... practise... practise.
  And its the same for body love.... A little everyday and surrounding yourself with body positive people.

Dont look at others and be jealous. Dont look at others and see them as competition, instead look at yourself and be happy that you are YOU. That you have YOUR body.
   Dont overwork yourself, dont starve yourself, dont hurt yourself. Take care of your body, try to listen to your body, be kind to yourself, love yourself.

This is your body and you WILL live with it for the rest of your life..... so try body love and positivity, because really..... how far have you come hating your body? What positive thing has happened while you are stuck in self hate and cant even look in the mirror without wanting to cry or say 100 negative things about yourself.

Begin with positive thoughts, think them everyday, think positive thoughts about your body and keep working for balance and peace between your mind and body. Because there is NOTHING wrong with your body, its not your stomach or thighs or arms that are the problem, its your thoughts and the way you think about your body.

Reminders

Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself

Yesterday morning in the middle of my busy-getting-ready-routine in the morning i decide to pause for a second and to stop and look in the mirror. Somethine i have avoided doing the past few days because 1) i look super tired 2) stress is making my skin go red and spots appear 3)i have been super bloated the past while and 4) i just havent felt so comfortable in my own skin.

But i decided to take a moment to just pause and to look in the mirror. To look past those things that were making me feel a little bit down or uncomfortable in my own skin. I decided to think to myself, I love myself. And i am beautiful just the way i am. It might not have felt 100% the truth or accurate, but i repeated it to remind myself that despite the small things which i might see as 'flaws' or find not so appealing about myself, they dont define me. My body doesnt define me, I am so much more than my body.
   Also being stuck too much in my head and feeling negative about my body just isnt a good thing. Feelnig negative about my body weighs heavily on my shoulders so instead, i thought positive. And it was refreshing, i felt more confident and more positive. I felt better about my body the whole day yesterday just by telling myself that i loved myself. That i am just a human and you know what, nobody else notices these 'small things' and even if they do, so what? I am a human and we all get spots or bloat or look a little tired sometimes.

Each morning i am going to continue with telling myself that i love myself and my body, even on the days when it is the truth and i dont need a reminder, it can still be good to repeat it to myself! And i suggest that YOU try it as well.



Look in the mirror, look past what you perceive as flaws and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Even if you need to repeat it 15 times and it still feels fake, one day it will become a truth you believe. But try changing your thoughts.

Push past that negative, dark voice/thought in your head, it is not the truth. Start the day with some love towards yourself and some positivity and the rest of the day will feel a little better and brighter.

(I can also recommend to repeat this in the evening sometime for OPTIMAL body positivity!!!)

If i asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?

Self love is a skill which not everyone has. You are your own worst critique and it's hard to feel confident and happy in your own body and life when you are bombarded with images of photoshopped models and all you see are peoples highlights on social media. You see yourself everyday, you look in the mirror and analyze every detail of your face and body, you see your scars and marks, you notice your 'flaws' and you wish you could be someone else. Look like someone else or have someone elses life.
  But nobdoy is perfect, there is no such thing as perfect. When you let go of trying to be perfect... trying to have the perfect life, the perfect grades or the perfect body, it is easier to be happy because you feel content. You can see the things you like less about yourself and accept them. Know that you are YOU, you dont need to change or look like someone else or have someone elses life. Instead you need to focus on being happy and loving yourself.




I have recently gotten alot of emails wondering how to love your body, how to cope with your new body shape after gaining weight, or just how to be happy in your body. And my best advice is to not spend so much time thinking about your body. If you spend hour after hour and day after day just thinking about your body, thinking about what you dislike about your body and want to change then all your focus and attention is going to your body when it should instead go to other things. Like work/school, friends, family, hobbies, interests. The self hate and not liking your body wont go away on it's own, instead you need to change the thoughts and try to think more positively. Try to find the things you like about yourself and your body. Remind yourself of them when you are struggling and dont like your body. Try to also focus your attention on things you like doing... immerse yourself in your hobbies and interests. Spend time with friends and family who promote a healthy body image and lifestyle. Stay away from triggering social media.... if you follow any accounts that make you feel jealous, who you follow just because you want to look like them then delete them. You dont need that type of negativity in your life or to feel bad about yourself or your body. Only follow positive accounts that inspire you!

Self love is a process which takes time. Each day you need to change the negative thoughts, try to love yourself, appreciate your body. But at the same time not focus too much on your body... love your life, be happy, do things you enjoy. See your body as your temple, treat it right. You might not feel awesome right now or love your body now, but START TODAY and for the next 4 weeks. Say something positive about your body everyday, get rid of negativity from your life and try to feel happy. It takes time, but it is worth it to be able to feel happy and confident in your body. You might not feel 100% confident and happy everyday, but 95% of the time anyway and that is an amazing feeling. TO not be triggered by other people, to not care if someone else is on a diet or trying to lose weight, but instead loving your body and yourself for who you are. And if you enjoy exercise, then exercising because you enjoy it, not because you are trying to shape or change your body.

Treat your body with respect

When you start thinking about your body like a friend and treat it with respect then you will have a much healthier body and mind.
   
Your body is not yours to abuse. You dont have a body so that you can hate it and want to change everything about it. Your body is your temple and you should treat it with respect. Not try to cut it, starve it, fill it with toxins and chemicals and ruin yourself from the inside out. When you think of your body in kinder ways and begin to treat it like it were your friend where you think kind thoughts, you compliment your body, you see the positives and disregard (or not even notice at all) those smaller differences. You feed your body right, give it water and sleep. Give it kindness and positive thoughts and positive energy. Because that is what you would do to a friend or your child - so why not treat yourself in the same way?

Why are you different? Why do you think its ok to bring yourself down? Let your mind bully you and control you. Why do you think its ok for you to try to harm yourself, to slowly kill yourself? There are rules and laws against other people hurting or killing others... but why do you think its ok because you are doing it to yourself? It is just as bad, if not worse because others can't see it. They might not be able to see those hidden scars or your true feelings hidden behind a smile. But that doesnt mean that you arent struggling.

It is not ok for you to hurt yourself, to starve yourself and slowly kill yourself. You wouldnt do that to a friend, so why do that to yourself?

Change your thoughts, change your behaviour. Learn to love your body like a friend, or like it was your child. Because you are going to live with your body for the rest of the life, so why spend all that time hating it when instead you could learn to love your body, change your thoughts to better ones and finally live a life where self hate and low self esteem arent dragging you down?

Body dysmorphia/Distorted body image

I was asked to write about distorted body image and how to stop comparing yourself to others ....  with the distorted body image, its hard to give proper advice.



  For me no matter how many times someone told me i was skinny, that i was underweight, i didnt look healthy, i wasnt fat...  it never stuck in my head. I would still look down at my body or look in the mirror and just see how fat i was... even when i took photos of myself, i would look at them in disgust. Hating how big i looked, Its not until afterwards, now when im recovered i can look at those photos and see that i was far from overweight or fat. But at the time i didnt see that.... i would look in the mirror and see 101 things i hated about myself. I zoomed in on the small things i hated about myself as well as the bigger things i hated about myself.
  The truth is... everyone can look in the mirror and say 10 things they hate about themselves, infact im sure the list of things you see as flaws (though they arent, i promise. Doesnt matter whether they are scars, burn marks, beauty marks, spots etc... they make you YOU. They make you unique and nothing you should be ashamed about or see as a flaw. ) But it takes courage and strength to say atleast 3 things you love about yourself.
  This is something many people struggle with. They focus on the negatives and have to stand and think for 30 minutes before they can come up with a positive about themselves.

But this is exactly what you need to do. For me in recovery... i avoided mirrors as often as i could. Whenever i looked in the mirror i just thought negative thoughts. I tried to focus on other things apart from my body. And that helped me to stop thinking so negatively about myself and my body...
  Also, i started my actual recovery and weight gain in the summer, so i did spend time in a bikini. Which was awful at first but i didnt want to sit hiding away. I also got to see so many different body shapes... tall people and short people, skinny people and 'fat' (sorry) people.... so many different shapes and sizes. Everyone different, everyone unique.
  Im the type of person who often sees the good in everyone else, who can look at someone and instantly see 10 good things about them. (Though when i was very sick i had a period where i thought negative thoughts about everyone and everything. Critisized other peoples bodies because i wasnt happy with my own).  But i began seeing the good in everyone else and soon realised, i had to see the good in me as well. I had to see my positives... why do i look down on myself, hate myself, tell myself im fat, whilst i can look at others and just think how great they look, no matter what shape or size.
   It also helped me to realise that people look different, there will ALWAYS be someone skinnier than you, just like there will ALWAYS be someone bigger than you. Some people are taller than you, others are shorter than you.
  But ask yourself... what is so important about being skinnier than someone else? It really doesnt make a difference, it wont make you happier, it wont make you a better person, it wont make you smarter... it wont make you anything. Just skinnier than someone... just like someone else might have longer hair than you, or bigger feet than you. Its NOT a competition.
  You can be/look like a skeleton when you are in a grave.... you have plenty of time for that, so why look like a skeleton when you are alive?

With comparing yourself to others, you have to first learn to love yourself. See yourself for how you truly look.... if mirrors or photos trigger you. Just avoid them. Instead say or write down 3-5 good things about yourself EVERYDAY. Even if you repeat the same things, just do that.
  Many people struggle with this... they cant seem to do it. But its a good exercise to do to learn to love yourself... soon you will be able to say 5 or 10 good things about yourself, just like that. And NOT feel bad about saying them. Because what is so bad about loving yourself? People who think you are silly or vain or egoistic for loving yourself or being able to say good things about yourself are just jealous and have low self esteem.
  
You need to realise that the way you look IS NOT a competition. DONT compare yourself to everyone around you... it takes too much energy out of your life. Too many thoughts on body shape, on who is skinniest, who has skinniest legs or biggest arms.. its tiring. Its not a way to live.
   You need to stop focusing on body shape, but focus on other things... such as being happy. Living life, spending time with friends.

Because in the end, if you spend 99% of your time, energy and thoughts on your body shape and others body shapes you wont truly be happy. You need to let go of the obsessive body thoughts and learn to just live life and be happy. Think positive thoughts and other thoughts.

It can also help to talk about your thoughts or write them down... to get advice on how to cope with the thoughts of comparing.
  Each time you look at a photo of someone else, or look at someone else and begin to compare yourself, then STOP. Take a deep breath and begin telling yourself 5 reasons why you shouldnt compare yourself to that other person and why you are perfect just the way you are.

If you need more advice on this subject, please let me know :)

Lets think positive & Be positive

Its easy to think negative, let the negative comments take over. Look in the mirror and dislike what we see, but today (and just like everyday) i say No... Instead, focus on the positive. Because well... a negative mind leads to a negative day and a negative life.

And also, because loving yourself is the BEST investment you can make to your future, so lets all be kind to ourselves today. And i want YOU (Yes, you... it takes 2 minutes to comment, whether you are on your phone or computer) to tell me what your favourite thing about yourself is ?
 It can be a characteristic, something about your personality, or something about your body!! (Though please refrain from saying things like, i love my thigh gap or my visible collar bones)

And if you feel like it/have time, also comment about something good that has happened in your day/will happen? Or just a positive thought

Lets be kind towards ourselves and see our positives, NOT our negatives :)

Im expecting many comments on this post :) hahah

10 steps to body positivity

6 steps towards better self image

Change your thoughts instead of your body

How and what you feel about yourself should not be dictated by your weight, or the way you look. You should wake up, and feel happy (most of the time.) Ready for a new day. Not wake up, weigh yourself and suddenly hate yourself and your life because the scale doesnt say what you want it to say.
   If you dont like what you see in the mirror, then instead of trying to constantly change your body... work on your head. On your thoughts. Instead of telling yourself that you're ugly. Tell yourself that you are beautiful. That you are allowed to eat. You are allowed to feel happy. You are allowed to live life, and enjoy yourself.
  Your body, your weight, your appearance should not be the main focus of your life. There is so much more than that.

Positive thinking

This picture set i think is for weightloss, but you know what i interperate it like recovery as well. In recovery you need to eat, face fears and think positive. But if you are constantly thinking negatively - im fat, im ufgly, i will never recover etc etc Then nothing positive will happen. Its like by thinking positive, positive things happen. And if you are just thinking negative things about food and your body, you end up restricting and
some people can then up binging, and you end up back where you were from the beginning (i.e still sick).

But if you think positive, make healthy positive changes and reward yourself you will reach your goal. Thinking positive is really important!!!
  You need to love your body, not hate it!

Learning to love yourself

I got a comment wondering if i could write about learning to love your body...

From your comment, the first thing i am going to say is Remember that these are just feelings. These fat feelings... or the feelings of being too big. They are your ED thoughts, trying to control you... trying to make you restrict and relapse. But you need to be strong.
 
These strong emotions they can come due to stress or something in your life... something could have triggered you or is making you stressed, and these issues or problems are giving you anxiety and giving you fat feelings. You need to find out what the actual problem is, because there is usually an underlying problem

Another thing which i suggest you do is write out your thoughts...  write out what it is you hate about yourself - yes this may sound strange.
  Even if its... i hate my thighs. My arms are fat. My nose is weird etc and then ask yourself WHY? Why do i hate my thighs? Because you dont have a thigh gap... why is that important? How will that make you feel better? There are thousands and even millions of other girls who dont have a thigh gap, so why you need to have one?
  And after that... it can help to either burn that piece of paper or cut it into a million pieces.. to signify that you are not letting those thoughts control you. That you have had those thoughts but you are stronger than them and you are moving on.



You need to replace the thoughts of Im fat. To I am perfect just the way i am. Change all negative thoughts to positive ones.

And for feeling fat... i suggest you get out of the house and try to do things you enjoy. Go for walks/meet friends/go to the cinema/watch a film/bake...
  It can help to write or to talk to someone. To meet friends and to just laugh... DO things to get your mind off how you are feeling and thinking. You need a distraction.

Put reminders up around your house that you need to eat even if you feel fat. Remind yourself that you ARENT fat.
  Put reminders and quotes on your mirrors that tell you that you are pretty. You are perfect just the way you are.You dont need to change.
  Those small reminders can definitely help you.

Get rid of scales and measurement tapes and all types of celebrity magazines... you dont need to be triggered or to compare yourself to others.

You need to stay strong, these feelings will pass. But if you relapse... if you starve yourself again then the feelings wont pass. Then you will live with them constantly until you decide to fight back.
  Its testing you... testing how strong you really are.

You go through tough times in recovery. But remember, The tough times make you stronger.

Hopefully some of these tips help - its the best i could do writing in a bit of a hurry, to hopefully help you, as you seemed to need help asap!!

But if any readers have some good tips to improve body image, and get rid of fat feelings please share!!

I will - tips for improving body image

10 "Will Powers" for Improving Body Image

By: Michael Levine, PhD and Linda Smolak, PhD

I WILL ask myself: “Am I benefiting from focusing on what I believe are flaws in my body weight or shape?”

I WILL think of three reasons why it is ridiculous for me to believe that thinner people are happier or “better.” I will repeat these reasons to myself whenever I feel the urge to compare my body shape to someone else’s.

I WILL spend less and less time in front of mirrors—especially when they are making me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about my body.   

I WILL exercise for the joy of feeling my body move and grow stronger. I will not exercise simply to lose weight, purge fat from my body, or to “make-up” for calories I have eaten.

I WILL participate in activities that I enjoy, even if they call attention to my weight and shape.I will constantly remind myself that I deserve to do things I enjoy, like dancing, swimming, etc., no matter what my shape or size is!

I WILL refuse to wear clothes that are uncomfortable or that I do not like but wear simply because they divert attention from my weight or shape. I will wear clothes that are comfortable and that make me feel at home in my body.

I WILL list 5 to10 good qualities that I have, such as understanding, intelligence, or creativity. I will repeat these to myself whenever I start to feel bad about my body.

I WILL practice taking people seriously for what they say, feel, and do. Not for how slender, or “well put together” they appear.

I WILL surround myself with people and things that make me feel good about myself and my abilities. When I am around people and things that support me and make me feel good, I will be less likely to base my self-esteem on the way my body looks.

I WILL treat my body with respect and kindness. I will feed it, keep it active, and listen to its needs. I will remember that my body is the vehicle that will carry me to my dreams! 

Source:  http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/10-will-powers-improving-body-image

10 ways to love your body

How to take care of yourself during a bad body image day

internal-acceptance-movement:

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DURING A BAD BODY IMAGE DAY:

1. Recognize that fat isn’t a feeling.

There are always underlying emotions that we attach to feeling fat. When the “I feel fat” thoughts start up, try to identify what you’re feeling underneath the body dissatisfaction. Are you feeling lonely? Anxious? Invisible? Scared? Ashamed? Inadequate? Whatever the feelings are recognize that they are separate from your body. 

2. Treat yourself as you would a friend.

Because it’s difficult to be kind to ourselves in the moment when the body hating thoughts take over, try responding to your thoughts as if you were supporting a friend. What would you say to someone you loved who was battling your same struggle with body image?

You wouldn’t tell them to not eat for the day in order to compensate for what they ate the previous night. You wouldn’t tell them to punish themselves for their body size through over-exercise, self-harm, or abusive eating habits. You wouldn’t tell them they were worthless or unloveable because of their weight. So why do you tell yourself these things? Break the cycle and start treating yourself like a friend—you deserve that kindness and love from everyone, especially yourself. 

3. Recognize that you are so much more than the size of your body. 

What you look like does not define you. It doesn’t discount your worth as a human being. You are so much more than a number on the scale. As a living, breathing, feeling human being you have inherent value. You are special and important and loved. You exist and therefore you matter.

Your appearance is such a small part of who you are, and it certainly doesn’t warrant enough power to discount the person you are inside. You aren’t your body or your weight—you are your goals and dreams and passions and values. You are your strengths and talents and insight. You are a soul and a spirit and a force of nature. Your body does not define you. 

4. Shift your focus from the external to the internal.

Make a list of all the people you look up to and are inspired by—not because of their weight or appearance, but because of who they are and what they do. Write out all the qualities they have that make you appreciate and value them.

Use the list as a reminder that it’s the internal things—our dreams and passions and goals and morals and insight and character—that truly define who we are and draw people to us; not how we look.

You are no exception to this. Try making your own list of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance or body size. If you have a difficult time creating one, ask some friends and family to help you. 

5. Think about what you want to be remembered for after you die.

I don’t want people to remember me for what I looked like, what size jeans I wore, or what I weighed. I want to be remembered for the person I am. I want to be remembered as someone who brought about positive change in the world. I want to be remembered as loving friend, partner, and family member. I want to be remembered for my passions and my creativity and my strength. I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference. What do you want your legacy to be? Chances are, it doesn’t have to do with weight.

6. Instead of focusing on the size of your body, start focusing on what your body allows you to do. 

The human body is an incredible force. When we get caught up in the number on the scale and size of clothes however, we forget just how lucky we are to have a fully functioning vehicle to engage in life with. So stop hating your body for the way it looks and start acknowledging and appreciating your body for all that it allows you to do.

Make a list of each activity and feat your body helps you to partake in and accomplish. If you want to be even more specific, list out each body part and describe all the things you wouldn’t be able to do without it. Your body is strong, powerful, and beautiful, regardless of it’s size. Choose to treat it with love, compassion, and gratitude instead of hate and judgement. 

7. Challenge your negative thoughts.

You may not be able to change the way you feel about your body today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but you can begin the process by challenging the thoughts in the moment. Write out a dialogue between your negative voice and a healthy voice. If you have a hard time coming up with positive counters to the negative thoughts, pretend that you are speaking positively about a friend or loved one.

Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it, because each time you argue with the thoughts, you are taking away some of their power and reclaiming your own. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them. The more you argue back, the easier fighting the voice will become. 

8. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.

There is a lot of built up energy and emotion underlying the way we feel about our bodies. Holding in how we feel or engaging in behaviors to numb out may make us feel better in the moment, but in the long run, it doesn’t remedy the pain we feel. It doesn’t make us feel better and it keeps us stuck.  

Releasing the energy and painful emotions underlying our body shame requires us to feel our feelings. Whether that means throwing a tantrum on the floor, venting to a friend on the phone, punching a pillow, screaming in your car, or crying in bed, you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings.Let go of the judgement you have about what you feel and recognize that you are feeling these things for a reason. Give yourself permission to release your emotions and let everything out. 

9. Do self care.

When you’re struggling with body image, distract yourself with healthy coping mechanisms. Take a bubble bath, get a message, ask for a back scratch, cuddle with a pet, make plans with a supportive friend, watch your favorite movie, get a manicure, listening to calming music, do deep breathing—whatever it is, make sure it’s something self-soothing and helps you get out of your head.

10. Be kind with yourself.

You may not be able to control the way you feel about your body, but you can control what you do in response to how you feel.

Instead of beating yourself up, you can choose to treat yourself with compassion. Instead of engaging in unhealthy and abusive behaviors, you can choose to do self-care. Instead of treating your body as an enemy, you can choose to treat it as a friend. Instead of isolating yourself, you can choose to reach out for support and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel loved and accepted. Instead of agreeing with the negative thoughts, you can choose to challenge them. 

I am proud of myself

I got this comment a few days ago, which i thought i would answer:

You wrote very often, how you hatet your Body (meanwhile 2011/12....) and at the SAME TIME you postet a whole LOT of Fotos of your Body in Bikini or sprtdress....this doesn`t fit in my opinion.... one get the Impression you are very proud of your belly/legs....

And then yesterday i also got a comment which i know some of you also reacted towards, where basically the person wondered why i posted pictures of myself on my blog, wondering if it was because i was fishing for comments, wanting feedback or because i was so in love with myself.
 
It feels like it is the same person who wrote both comments but anyway..

You know what, I am proud of myself and my body. And yes, I like my body, i love my body... and i like myself just the way i am. Though apparently that is so rare now a days that if you actually like your body you are accused of lying.



I post pictures of myself on my blog, because there isnt so much else to post pictures of.... as i rarely take photos of what i eat and i try not to post pictures of others, and well i dont take pictures of everything i do/see. So.... instead of leaving my posts blank, i post pictures of myself :)
  Not because i am fishing for compliments or wanting feedback, infact i dont often get so many comments and thats ok. Because i dont post pictures hoping to get loads of comments of how good i look.
  Infact, i am confident enough and like the way i look that i dont need reassurance from others telling me that i look good.

And onto the first comment, Yes in 2012 i still had body image issues. I had a period at the start of 2012 where i relapsed and began restricting/binging/purging, and i felt awful. I either felt fat or too skinny, i was never really happy with my body. I just saw my flaws.... I was working on accepting my body, being happy with myself. At the time i took photos of myself almost everyday.... because i felt that i couldnt trust my own eyes.... so if i took a picture i could see how i actually looked.
  By summer 2012 i was feeling more confident in my body so thats why there are pictures of me in dresses.
At the start of 2012 i wasnt very proud of my body, but by the time i had recovered i was very happy with my body.
  And if you are wondering about this year, why i have posted picturs of me in a bikini, shorts etc well yes i am proud of myself. Proud of my body and i dont think there is a problem with me showing that...
   I have always been the skinny girl, but now i have gotten more muscles - even though i am full aware that i am still very lean, and considered skinny - but i am also strong. And i have made ALOT of progress, and i do like showing my progress because it shows others that it is possible to recover!
  However, no one should compare their body to mine as everyone is different. And just because i look like this after ive recovered doesnt mean that you will as well... its all about dna, body type, shape etc etc

And also, just because i struggled with bad body image doesnt mean that i wrapped myself in hundreds of layers, i did that when i was very sick, but at this point (2012) i was trying to live my life again, trying to get back to normal, so when it was spring/summer i wanted to wear dresses and shorts, and that was a challenge, but challenging yourself is part of recovery. Instead of hiding away when i felt fat or didnt like myself/how i looked, instead i put on a dress, faked a smile and went to school anyway.

Nobody cares about your body/or your flaws as much as you think they do

I promise, no one’s looking. Seriously. And if they are, they don’t care nearly as much as you think they do.

When we’re obsessed about a certain body part on our own bodies, we often notice it more in other people. Like, too MUCH. We can’t help it. The problem is, we assume the world sees the same things we do with the same scrutiny we do: if we notice a certain “flaw” all the time, we assume that everyone else does as well. 

For example, if you’re self-conscious about your cellulite, you might notice the hammies of every woman who passes your way, and make judgement calls based on how you compare (“Hers is really bad”, “Mine is worse than hers”, “She has nothing there! Lucky”). You may have a negative reaction to people with similar cellulite wearing clothing you’ve decided you “can’t wear”. You may assume that every person you pass is secretly checking out your cellulite and sizing themselves up the same way, judging your worth based on how much you have back there. 

Same goes for people with or formerly with acne (you might notice people’s skin more), hairy bits (you may notice every unshaven woman), body fat issues and more. Even women who no longer identify as overweight might be extra aware of the weight of those around them. Whatever the insecurity, you may find yourself more attentive to it and more critical of it in yourself and in others. 

We tend to believe people see the world as we do, but the truth is they don’t. After a day of wearing short shorts in a busy city, not a single person will remember your legs. At the beach, the only people who might be distracted by your body are the ones who are sizing up their own (not about you). In reality, people don’t care what you look like as much as you do. But being terrified to live your life the way you want to, or constantly living in fear of judgement, will affect your life in ways you can’t imagine. 

While it’s almost impossible to STOP feeling or thinking this way, you can acknowledge it and become more aware that it’s not actual truth. This can help lessen the power it has over you, making it easier to live your life without some unnecessary stress.

If you find yourself constantly worried about what people will think of your body, remind yourself that most people don’t care, and the ones that do are doing the SAME thing you are: making a mountain out of a mole (literally).

Source: http://fitvillains.tumblr.com/