Everyone wants a summer body and going on a smmer detox - but dont let that affect you or stop you from reaching YOUR goasls

As always, as it begins to get warmer and closer to summer in the European countries anyway there begins to be a hysteria of reaching that summer body and looking good in a bikini. It is so easy to get caught up in that hysteria and obsession which others are feeling, to get caught up in the thought that your body isnt good enough as it already is. Thinking that everyone else is out running and doing lots of cardio and drinking green smothies, and you begin to wonder if you should do the same.  Not to mention all the magazines with the "10 day detox to lose 30lbs" or "how to lose weight fast for summer" or "how to get a flat stomach, thigh gap and summer body in just 2 weeks with this diet" titles as well as the numerous pictures of photoshopped models in bikinis. so inspirational it hurts.
(sarcasm, if anyone didnt get that get ;))

Each year it is the same thing and each year vulnerable girls (and guys!) end up getting caught up in the trend and obsession and it is easy that it can go too far. That the 2 week diet becomes a 4 week diet which leads to a 4 month diet and due to other factors maybe an eating disorder develops, or you end up with body image disorder or just an unhealthy relationship to food and your body and/or exercise. It saddens me to see how many people are feeling self conscious over their bodies, who are struggling with low self esteem and then everywhere on social media and magazines on tv adds there are people talking about diets and weightloss and always reminding them that they arent good enough, that their body needs to change, and that unless they lose weight their body isnt good enough to be seen in a bikini. But it is so wrong, and such a wrong message. Your summer body, is the body you have in summer. Your bikini body is your body in a bikini. Your winter body is the body you have in winter. You do not need to change your body just due to seasons changing, what you need to change is your thoughts and work on your self esteem and self confidence. Learn to love yourself and not let others affect you.

There will always be people out there who get caught up in fad diets or who think that eating very little is ok just to lose some quick weight, or people who start dieting 3 weeks before summer just to try to get into shape. You can't escape that, but you can try to limit your time to those types of people and to not let what they are doing affect you. But instead focus on what is best for YOU, YOUR LIFE, YOUR HEALTH. Who cares what anyone else is doing, you can't control them. Trust me, the amount of people i have tried to help and remind them that a 10 day cleanse wont do much apart from maybe help your skin if you have just been eating a bunch of junk food, or tried to remind people that cutting their calories severly just to lose weight for a bikini body wont result in anything good... but yet, nobody really listens. So then all i can do is just focus on myself and do what is best for me.

Who cares if others are dieting and trying to lose weight, ask yourself is that what you need to do as well just because? Is that going to help your health or your life or help you reach your goal? If the answer to any of those is no, then why do it. Just because 5 other people jump doesnt mean you have to as well (just an example). You need to know what is best for you and then do that.

I know its easier said than done, but it is about being strong within yourself and always trying to do what is best for yourself and not lettting other peoples goals or what other people are doing affect you.

You can not live a life where you just follow others and do what others do. Just because one person goes one way doesnt mean you have to as well, you can go your own way, a seperate way.

If you find yourself getting dragged into the summer diets and summer weightloss or surrounded by many people who are focused on that, instead remind yourself of what is best for you. What will help you in the long term, and each day focus on self love. Not just on changing your body but on self love from the inside and changing your thoughts.

Weightloss and dieting isnt that great. So DONT feel jealous of others who are dieting or trying to lose weight, instead embrace the fact that you can eat plenty of food and just regain strength and energy.It is a process like all things, but hopefully one day you wont be affected by what others are doing or the hysteria around summer and a summer body and instead you know that your body is awesome no matter the season or weather!!

Love your body no matter what, no matter weight or size. Easier said than done, but it is not impossible!

(And yes my feet are white... i have a problem with feet so i always wear socks even in summer... so then the problem of having white feet and tanned legs when i actually have to take my socks off.... XD Yes, feel free to laugh!!!)

The radical notion of loving yourself in a society that tells us not to

Why does loving yourself seem to be only be allowed for certain people with a certain size? But most of all, why is self love seen as such a radical thing? Mostly i guess because society tells us not to... society tells us that there is always something we can do to change. Not tall enough, not skinny enough, our skin is not clean and clear or we have marks on our skin or our hair is dry or our nails and eyelashes need to be fixed or the hair on our body removed. Females are often told to shrink, in size, opinion and space they take up in the world.....


Society tells us that there is always something wrong with us, and we can never truly love ourselves or be perfect unless we look like a photoshopped model, but that is not the truth.



Happiness and loving your body doesnt come from constantly trying to change it or constantly trying to lose weight or look like someone else. It comes from being happy in yourself and allowing yourself to love YOURSELF and your body, despite the small things which you might see as flaws. Because those so called "flaws" they make you YOU. And there is nothing wrong with them.
Scars, cellulite, stretch marks, birth marks, they are part of your body and that is ok, you can love those parts of your body, they dont you wrong or ugly. They mean that you have a human body. And you can love yourself while being underweight, normal weight or overweight. Self love is not just for a certain size or weight, self love is for everyone no matter size, shape or weight. And you can still love yourself and want to change something, but its changing for the right reason.... if you want to change your body and expect the happiness to come after that, that isnt always the case.... but if you already feel happy but know that a certain change might make you feel more confident or better then that change doesnt have to be wrong. I mean people are constantly changing their body and there doesnt have to be anything wrong with that, people can love themselves before and after the change.

I love my body.... i loved my body in 2012 when i had reached my goal weight, and i love my body know, 4 years later and 6kg heavier. My body has changed and i like the changes that have happened in my body, but i didnt change my body because i hated my body before hand... instead the changes have happened from doing soemthing i love while loving my body.


Loving yourself and being happy in your body shouldnt be something radical, it should be something everyone does and feels, someday hopefully. It is about accepting yourself, accepting your body and not letting society tell us how we should look to feel happy, perfect or accepted. Because if you are with the right people they wont care how your body looks (unless of course your weight/body size puts your health at risk, then they will care.), but also there is no such thing as a perfect body. A perfect body is a functioning, happy and healthy body... not some photoshopped size 0, no birthmarks, scars or anything on the body - body.

Focus on loving yourself everyday. Let self love be a daily thing by embracing yourself and knowing that you dont need to change, your body is what you live in and if you treat it right by feeding it properly and also moving your body then you will feel better in your body. And when you treat your body right and feel good in your body then it is easier to love yourself. Self love comes from the inside, literally.... mentally loving your body but also feeling good in your body by doing what is best for your body!


Love yourself and ALLOW yourself to love yourself. Because sometimes you get so stuck in the self hate that even if you want to love yourself you wont even let yourself because you have hated yourself for so long. But ask yourself.... what has self hate brought to you? Has it made you happier or healthier? I doubt it.

Self love is possible and definitely worth it. To atleast 9/10 times walk past a mirror and think, you know what... i look ok. To not feel like you have to hide from the world because you hate how you look. It is a nice feeling to love yourself, but ALSO not be focused on your body... just know that you are happy with the way you look no matter the rolls on your stomach when you sit down or the stretch marks on your thighs or those scars you still have on your legs from the time you fell etc

Self love comes from the inside and from WANTING to love yourself.

I HAVE WORKED ON MY SELF LOVE FOR SEVERAL YEARS. AND IT MY SELF ISNT JUST BECAUSE OF A CERTAIN FAT % (no idea what mine is) OR MUSCLES. BUT SELF LOVE COMES FROM THE INSIDE AND TREATING MY BODY RIGHT. I often get comments saying, i only love my body because i look a certain way of because of the "trend", but you know what... i love my body for what it can do but also because i treat it right. If i were to starve myself, binge or purge, or begin excessively exercising to try to change my body... i wouldnt love my body even if it looked the way it does now, because i wouldnt be treating my body right. But when i eat right and fuel my body properly and do the exercise i love and live a life which i mostly love, that leads to self love.... aswell as having spent 4 years working on my self love, accepting my body for how it is.

And also.... 1 photo doesnt say so much about how a body looks. And i still have my bad body image days but 6/7 days i love my body!


10 self love tips post

How to love yourself

Accept your weight gain and love yourself

One thing which i get asked almost daily, is how to deal with weight gain, and how to love 

yourself/like your body image again.

And i know how hard it is to gain weight, both physically and mentally. Most people think that it is 

so easy to gain weight,and maybe at first it feels like you gain 2kg a day, but that is not the case. (Though yes

 i amaware that some people gain weight more quickly than others, but that is due to many different

 factorswhich i am not going to get into here. But in general, weight gain is not a super quick thing 

unless you massively overeat or you have other issues/problems making you gain weight quickly)

Weight gain is a slow process and involves increasing calories over a longer period of time....

      

The most important thing with coping with your weight gain is, accepting that you are going 

to gain weight. There isnt a way out of it. No matter how much you try, or try to trick with the scale, 

avoid eating etc etc That is not helping YOU. Because gaining weight, that is for YOUR health.

 Not for anyone else,but for YOU.

   

And dont see it as just gaining weight. 

More like, gaining freedom, gaining life, gaining strength, gaining happiness.

Another tips is to get rid of your too small clothes.... they dont need to lie around your house... 

they dont need to be reminders of something you want to forget. Instead, look forward to buying 

new clothes that fit and look good on you!

Dont compare yourself to others, focus on yourself. Dont look at magazines where all they write

 about is diets and weight. 

Avoid diet/weightloss shows. And dont look at fitspo/thinspo... those aren't going to make you feel

 better.

Another tips is to find something which you love doing, and spend your time doing that. 

Something which makes you happy and makes life worth living. Trying new things, doing fun things... 

that is all part of recovery.

But it is also a good way to socialize, to feel happy and realise that life isnt all about the way you 

look.... its about living.

  So dont just sit inside feeling awful about your body. Instead, step out of your comfort zone,

 do things which might scare you.... start living life!

Say positive things to yourself... be kind towards yourself. Even if it may sound strange, or feel 

weird but Compliment  yourself!!! Saying positive things, and thinking positive = positive energy 

and good things happen... or thats what i believe anyway!

How to like your body

Giving advice about just this topic is actually quite hard, because how you find peace with your body and how you learn to love yourself and your body is so individual. The same thing doesnt work for everybody, unfortunatly. But also.... some people just arent willing to change their thoughts to more self loving ones. They know that when they look in the mirror and think negative thoughts they should change those thoughts to positive ones  but still, they dont.... of course its easier said than done. But if you want a change, if you want to love your body and be happy in your body, then you have to change what you are doing/thinking now, right?

On my blog it may seem like i am super confident in my body, like i have no problem running in shorts and a sports bra or having 101 pictures of me  in a bikini on my blog for thousands to see, but i do have my insecurities just like everyone else. I am afterall still a human being. We cant be 100% happy with everything 100% of the time. But its about acceptance.



On the days that i feel bad or dont like my body image -  then i wear clothes that make me feel comfortable. I might skip the tight tank top and instead have a big cosy jumper which i can wrap around me, or wear a bigger top that just sort of hangs on me.

I also avoid mirrors  and avoid thinking about my body. Because really what will it help.... we all know how it is to try to look down at our feet and all we see is a bloated belly instead. We have all been there and no ,its not the best feeling not for a guy or a girl. But everyone bloats and pretty much everyone experiences bloating. Instead of panicking about it, wear something cosy... and if you have to wear something nice because maybe you are going out or going to a party or something. Well then Fake it till you make it!! Put on that dress/outfit and smile. Let go of your negative thoughts.

Change your negative thoughts to positive ones. This can be hard for most people, they are so used to hearing and thinking the negative thoughts that they are on repeat in their head. But you need to break that habit.... you think your belly looks big or because you have rolls... Ask yourself WHY that matters? Why is that something that shoul make you upset?  That is how the body looks, the rolls on your belly happen to everyone, even if someone is super skinny.... its impossible to sit or hunch over without the middle section having to 'roll' and 'scrunch together'.... if it didnt, well then you couldnt physically bend/hunch over because your middle section would be like carboard??
 
You feel panicked about cellulite?Something jiggles? Something is bigger than you want it to be? Once again - why does that matter?  You are SO MUCH MORE THAN YOUR BODY. You need to look at those things which you dont like and ask yourself why you dislike them so much? Why are you letting your arms/legs/stomach etc ruin your day`? Making you hate yourself so much?
   Why not let go of the negative thoughts and think... i am so much more than whatever it is you dont like. There is more to life than the way you body looks, whether you have a thigh gap or a flat stomach. In the end, those things dont really matter. Its only YOU who cares about it.

And onto something i have been thinking about recently, everyone seems to want to have a flat stomach or visible abs but like really.... THEY ARE UNDER CLOTHES ALMOST ALL OF THE TIME, unless its summer but even then its not like you always wear a bikini top. Of course some people live in really warm countries, but still.... you can STILL wear a bikini or crop top or whatever no matter what your stomach looks like. You can STILL wear shorts and dresses and short armed clothes. WHO CARES what anybody else thinks. You need to focus on loving yourself, on being happy and confident in your own body.

Its not an easy thing to do. But focus on your positives on the things you DO like about yourself. Write notes and on pieces of paper the things you do like about yourself. And if you feel you dont like anything about yourself, that everything is wrong then FIND something you like about yourself. Just dont think negative about yourself all the time.

You wont ever feel happy or confident in your body or love your body if all you think is I hate myself. Im fat. Im horrible. I need to lose weight.
 How could you ever learn to love your body if those thoughts are on repeat in your head?

So CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

What ive put my body through

Yesterday i began thinking, im only X years old but ive already put my body through so much. Both on the outside and in the inside it has has to endure alot... sometimes i wonder how my bones are still strong and my body isnt still covered in scars.
   But the body is quiite amazing how it repaires itsself after so much damage. Some damage however is irreversable.... some things your body cant fix.

You might not be thinking about these things right now, but someday you might. Someday you will regret all those years of purging because they have eroded your teeth so much, has caused you permanent acid reflux and for some they cant even eat solid food or alot of food at once because it just comes back up again. The metabolism so ruined.
  You might end up in hospital with organ failure, dehydratation or in the worst case cardiac arrest. Your heart not being able to cope with everything its being put through.

You have one body, that is all you will ever have. You may be able to change your outsides with plastic surgery, different operations or through food and exercise. But your insides... its those that matter. All the hours exercise you do just to try to get a flat stomach, that wont matter when you suddenly develop adrenal fatigue/exhausation or you collapse or even die from all the stress the exercise puts on your body.
   Those laxatives you took to keep you from 'gaining' weight or to help with the anxiety of eating. They wont be needed when you can no longer 'keep it in' or your digestive system is so ruined that you cant digest solid food.
  The alcohol, pills or overdosing wont seem like such a good idea to numb the pain when you get liver failure or other organ damage.

Somethings your body can fix such as malnutrition,thinning hair, weak bones, muscle loss etc but those all require enough food and energy so that your body can repair itsself. Somethings like damage to the digestive system, Organ damage or failure... those are things which your body wont be able to fix.

Stop focusing so much on the outside and how your body looks, instead focus on the inside and how your body feels.

Its not until its too late that you will miss what you had

This morning i was reading this post: What the dying really regret about dying patients, and people who had cancer and the thing they missed most was their body. They regreted all the years they were displeased with their body or took their body for granted.
  But now it was too late... they cant go back to their old bodies. Spend hours dancing like they used to or have energy to go walking or other things they used to do.
 
So many people hate their bodies, want to change every little detail about their body... just focusing on the outside but forgetting the real reason we have a body. So that we can live... so that we can move.
  If we were meant to have thigh gaps, super flat stomachs and tiny arms... then that is what everybody would have. And everyone would be healthy looking that way.. but that is not how we are built. Humans are built to have bones, muscles, skin and fat. They all serve a purpose. We are supposed to move our body, have energy to go running - go hunting in forests. Our muscles help us lift heavy things, carry things, not be weak. Our bones are supposed to be strong to keep us standing tall and to keep us from breaking. Our skin covers our body to keep all our organs inside and fat is our protection and heat system. Fat is an essential part of our body.
  Just like the food we eat - carbs to give us energy, protein to keep us strong and healthy fats to give our brain and cells eneergy and to keep everything functioning in the body.
  Even our metabolism plays a very important role... it speeds up when you are more active or eat more... it uses more energy and makes you more hungry so that you eat enough when you are active. I.e the hunger and fullness feelings,. But also, when the body knows that it isnt getting enough energy... it goes into starvation mode. It wants to keep the body alive so some processes in the body are stopped or slowed down... they are seen as unnecessary energy expenditures. Thats why your hair becomes thing, you become cold and your hands and feet can turn blue/purple and be cold all the time... the circulation to your feet and hands slow down. And your hair, nails, teeth and bones arent getting the calcium, nutrients or energy to grow properly.
  When you are in starvation mode your body holds onto food and fat... keeping your protected. As well as making you more tired because 1)you arent getting the proper energy but also 2) your body doesnt want you to move as much. It wants you to just rest and not use so much energy when it knows that you arent getting the right energy to sustain your movement.

Your body is smart, SO MANY processes and different things are happening in your body every second... millions of things happening every second. And they all happen to KEEP YOU ALIVE. Think, when you get a virus your immune system fights to keep you healthy. It makes you tired and weak so that you can just rest and your body can fight the virus.
  Everything is in tune, working like a clock, everything has a role to play.

But what do you do? Well... you let your mind trick you and all you see is the outside. Your appearance. Not even caring about your insides... about your organs or your inner health. All you focus on is that your thighs are too big or you have fat on your arms or your hips? But in the end.... WHO CARES. Seriously... what does that matter?
  When you are dead, when you are in a grave... then you can be skin and bones. But WHY are you wasting your life trying to look like a skeleton? Scared of food... scared of fat on your body? Everyone has fat on their bodies, everyone needs fat on their bodies.

Stop focusing so much on your appearance or your goal body. Forget about those. Instead focus on inner health, on inner balance and peace. Focus on mental health....Why waste your life hating your body because one day you will end up without a body anyway.
  Why not use your body the way its meant to be used.... move your body (i.e when you are a healthy enough weight to do it!), laugh, eat delicious food (yes, your body can cope and handle all types of food!), hug people, smile, be nice to other people, rest and sleep, drink lots of water... find balance and peace.

There is more to life than your appearance. Of course being happy in your body is also important... liking the way you look. But health... innner health and mental health are so much more important than whether you have a flat stomach or not.
  If you dont like the way you look then change your thoughts instead of your body... happines wont come from losing 3kg or losing 10kg. Instead you need to work on your thoughts, on loving your body.
Change your thoughts not your body (my previous post)

You are important and you matter

SOURCE : GINGERFRUITKATE:

I’ve gotten several asks lately about how to love yourself and how to start practicing self-care after years of feeling worthless. As someone who has struggled with severe depression and self-harm in the past and still struggles daily with anxiety, I have been in some pretty dark places. I’ve come  a long way since then. By no means am I perfect, nor do I feel awesome about myself all of the time, but I figured I’d share some of the things that have really helped me in my journey to love myself.

Before I start sharing, though, i want to say that if you’re reading this, I’m extremely proud of you for wanting to change your mindset and start taking care of yourself. It isn’t easy at all, but wanting to try is a HUGE step, especially when you struggle with mental illness. I know some days just getting out of bed is hard, let alone loving yourself. So I just want to give you a big hug of encouragement for even trying. Now, for some tips.

1. Find your happy place and use it as a starting point. Think of the times and places when you feel the most confident and at peace. Maybe it’s when you’re snuggled in a blanket drinking tea and watching your favorite movie. Maybe it’s when you’re all dolled up and wearing your favorite heels. Maybe it’s when you’re riding your bike or knitting a scarf or reading a book at the park. Whatever it is, find that situation and recreate it as often as possible. While you’re in that place, think about everything you’re good at. I know that can be hard, and you might think “I’m not talented!” but come on, you’re good at something. Maybe you’re great at remembering birthdays or making homemade waffles or doing your hair or watching a whole season of a TV show in one day. Whatever it is, even if it seems silly to you, it matters and it’s part of what makes you unique. Write it down on post-it notes and stick them on your mirror, on your laptop, wherever you’ll see it.

2. Find music that makes you feel empowered and incorporate it into your daily routine. Doesn’t matter if it has silly lyrics or it isn’t what you’d normally listen to—find something that makes you smile and makes you want to dance and be awesome. I’m partial to THIS playlist. Then, take a long, hot shower. After that, put on your favorite underwear and blast the playlist while taking your time doing your hair and makeup (if you wear it). Dance around, sing along, act ridiculous. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, pretend that you are the badass diva singing the song. Try a new hairstyle. Do your makeup the way you’ve always wanted to but have been too scared to try. Take a bajillion selfies just for yourself. Eat some chocolate. Be indulgent. Treat yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re hot and awesome and could rule the world if you wanted to. It sounds ridiculous and you’ll probably laugh and roll your eyes. Tell yourself anyway. Turn the music up and dance around some more. Do this every morning, even if it’s only for one song. I swear by it.

3. Learn how and when to be selfish. This is imperative. It’s really hard, because we’re brought up being taught to always put others before yourself. While this way of thinking has good intentions, it can become destructive because you end up treating yourself as though you’re not worth anything unless you’ve made everyone around you happy. Unless you have children, you are responsible for exactly ONE person’s well being and happiness: your own.  You can still do nice things for people, and we all need to sacrifice our own comfort sometimes to get things done, but if you have the choice, you need to take care of yourself. You need to learn how to say “no.” If someone asks a favor of you or asks you to hang out and you know in your heart that you can’t swing it, don’t be afraid to say “Sorry, I really can’t this time.” The first few times you do this, it will be scary, but at the same time you will feel as though a weight has lifted off your shoulders. You have the power to control when and if you do things. You don’t HAVE to go to that party if it’s not your thing. You don’t HAVE to drive half an hour to pick up your friend if it’s inconvenient and you know they could ask someone else. Sometimes just saying “no” can be extremely empowering, so practice it.

4. Last but definitely NOT least, a tip from one of my favorite TV shows, Twin Peaks: "Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee." Pretty self-explanatory. But seriously. Give yourself little treats for no reason. They don’t have to cost money, although they can (buying new nail polish is my personal favorite). It could be waking up a few minutes earlier so you can take a longer shower, or brewing an extra cup of tea, or reading your favorite book before bed instead of checking Facebook. Making a conscious effort to find small ways to be kind to yourself can make a huge difference. You don’t have to bake yourself a cake (although you certainly could!) but take a few extra minutes every day to do something nice for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do. 

Learning self love

Source: toethefinishline:

Learning Self-Love

So many people struggle with self-love and that is definitely a problem! You must learn to love yourself before anyone else! You do not need to find someone to love you, wait until you lose the weight, or anything before you can love yourself – you must love yourself NOW! At the end of the day all you have is yourself and that must be enough! You must be happy with yourself and love yourself unconditionally! Losing weight will not solve the problem – you will still be the same you with the same problems! Instead of focusing on that learn to love yourself for everything you are!

• Focus on your strengths – figure out what you are good at! There are plenty of things that you are wonderful at and use those to build your confidence! No one is good at everything so do not fret if you are bad at something! Instead focus on what you are good at and enjoy them!
• Learn from your mistakes - you don’t have to be good at everything like mentioned above but use your mistakes to your advantage! Don’t worry about them- live and learn! 
• Do what you love – make time everyday to do something you enjoy! Do something that makes you happy to improve your mood!
• Tell yourself you are beautiful - stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are ! Keep telling yourself and fake it until you make it! Really mean what you are saying a realize all of the beautiful things about you - including any flaws ( they make you unique!)
• Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones – instead of thinking your legs are big or whatever your problem is, be thankful you have working legs that you can run marathons with if you wanted! Try to stay optimistic and see the positive side of everything! It will greatly improve your mood and outlook on life!
• Realize that beauty has no measure on your life. Okay even if someone is not beautiful that has no relevance to one’s life ! Everyone has worth and is amazing! I am sure you are the prettiest person ever but even if you are not then who really cares? What does it really matter? All that matters is that you are happy and love your life- and that should not be dependent upon whether or not you are pretty.
• Weight has no relevance to beauty! Whether you are 100 or 300 pounds you can be beautiful! Please do not relate the two to one another! See this post (:
• Spend time with people you love and who love you! It is important to spend time with loved ones! They will boost your mood and confidence! If people have a negative impact on your life then you don’t have to spend time with them! Don’t feel like you must stick around for everyone! You have to put yourself first and make sure you are happy! Don’t let others drag you down!
• Remember that life is simple - the sun rises and the sun sets, we just tend to complicate the process. Remember the simplicity in life and let it help you to stay calm and stay focused on the important things! Love yourself and love your life! Enjoy it while you can and don’t let everything stress you out so much!
• Be generous! Help others, be kind to others, and give when you can. It will spread love and make you feel better as a person!

Fat phobia

Something more and more noticable in todays society is the fat phobia rising in both girls and guys. Being fat has become a fear for many, something even worse than death. They would rather starve themselves, harm their body physically and put their mental state at risk to avoid becoming so called 'fat'.
  Ive been there, that emense fear of becoming fat. Thinking that eating even a little would suddenly make me fat.. it was like i thought the food i ate would sit as a clump on my belly... Thats not the case.
 In my journals from the kids psychiatric ward in Ireland i was 14 and i said I would rather die than be fat.



That was how i thought all the years i was sick... dying was better than having any fat on my body. But now when im healthier and happier i can think what is so wrong with fat on my body? The body needs fat to function properly.... i get tummy rolls when i bend over, i have a layer of fat all over my body some places it jiggles more than others. But whats so wrong with that?
  Does it make me not pretty? Un smart? Un happy? un-anything? No, it simply means I have a healthy, happy and properly functioning body. I dont need to change anything about my body.

Those models you see in magazies, they also have fat however thers has been photoshopped away  because society doesnt seem to want to accept or acknowledge the fact that the body needs fat to function properly. Its especially important for girls, and if you dont have a high enough fat procent you might not have your period.

Now dont get me wrong, im not saying being obese is healthy. Because that ISNT either. But having a healthy body fat procent is needed. Whats the point of being super skinny if you become infertile and cant have kids in the future (or your own biological kids anyway)

Is having fat on your body really the worst thing out there? Is it worse to have fat on your body than to get hit by a car and become paralyzed? Worse than having your parents die? Worse than living an unhappy life just because of your fear of gaining a bit of weight and fat?



Many email and write to me wondering how to gain muscle without gaining fat...But it doesnt work that way? Why are you so scared of gaining a little fat. Its extra protection for your body and organs.

I recently read a post by a Swedish blogger who wrote "I wonder how some girls dare to wear a bikini on the beach." "I compare myself with others so that i feel better about my body" "It must be nice for some girls to not care how they look and let thier stomach stick out".
   After reading that, i had a real rage to my sister.... its those types of comments that lead to this type of thinking and fat phobia. Its those types of comments that lead to people feeling insecure about thier bodies, thinking they have to look a certain way to be happy or confident.

That isnt the case.

I am just glad that i am free from all those thoughts, all the fat phobia and fears i had. Now i can truly be happy in my body, not care how it looks or panic because im bloated on camera. Thats how my body is.
 For many, that is not the case. However with my blog i want to promote body love, loving your body at all shapes, sizes and weights. And remind you all that a HEALTHY body is a HAPPY body. No extremes!!! And YES, your body does have scars, marks, spots, bits that jiggle and a stomach that sticks out.. thats OK!!

Love your legs

My legs have been one of my problem areas for most of my life. For me, they have always been too big. No matter what weight i was, my legs just never really fit my body. I am 176cm but i feel like my upperbody is longer than my lowerbody, so my legs are disproportionate to the rest of my body. There have been many days and nights ive wished for a thigh gap, wished for smaller legs and would have done just about anything to have smaller legs. But thats not how my body is built, not for a healthy body anyway.



Last year i wrote THIS post which is one of my top posts, mainly because 2 of the photos i have on there (1 of them has been deleted) has been used in pro ana sites and in other articles ive seen posted online where they have used my picture to show 'the thigh gap'. But in that post i talk about how i had learnt to love my legs, how i wasnt focusing on how they look but on what they can do.
  And this was the important thing for me.... As my legs have been and at times still are my problem area. Learning to love them, accept them for how they are is somethign i need to focus on several times a week.

When i feel down about the shape of my legs or the way they look i like to remind myself of how far ive come. That before i had no energy in my legs, i would force myself to exercise even if my legs had no energy and just felt like jelly. But now i am so much stronger. Its no longer forcing myself to exercise, but actually my body asking for it. My body and mind friends, working together.
    Ive built up strength in my legs... before i didnt know what a squat is, and now i can squat X kilo (not super heavy as i have lower back problems, but considering that i had little to no energy in my legs i am happy with how far i have come.) i can now run 15-20km (with maybe a pause or two!) but after my recovery i could barely run a km anymore.



My legs arent just skin and bones, but they are also muscle. They also have fat on them, but thats part of a healthy body.
  I have stretch marks, cellulite and self harm scars on my legs but that doesnt stop me from wearing shorts. I am not embarrassed about the fact that i have cellulite on the back of my legs, i dont even think about it. It doesnt make me unhealthy, unpretty or anything. I dont have a thigh gap, but that doesnt matter to me any more.... a space inbetween my legs? What good is that for?
  Now i can atleast hold things inbetween my legs... or if i drop food, it wont go on the ground ;) ;) ;)

My legs are not something i should be embarrassed about or feel ashamed of showing. To me, i think i will always feel that i have big legs, however im learning to not see that as a negative. That big, muscular and strong legs isnt a bad thing. Infact its a good thing.
   Of course its a gradual, self love and learning task. Several times a week reminding myself that my legs are perfect just the way they are, that i dont need to change. That has helped....
   And now i can atleast look at my legs and feel happy that they function properly, that i have energy and strength in my legs. Be proud of how far i have come!

We all have problem areas, but learning to love and accept them will make us happier as people!!! Nothing good comes from hating ourselves. Ive been there, done that and i amnt planning on returning there!

^^Looks like ive gotten shorter in the right photo, but its just the angle!! haha XD

Love your body at every size

With my blog something which i want to get across is Body love at every size and weight. I dont want the focus to be on super skinny, or think that being skinny or thin is the only way to be happy. ... But neither do I want the fixation to be on being toned and muscular. Sometimes I find myself to be hypocritical. ... or I mean. I know i look a certain way, yes I workout. And now the trend is to look toned and muscular. And well, i fit into that frame quite well... But just because I look this way doesn't mean You have to. Everyone likes different looks.

And everyone has different ideal bodies... and there's nothing wrong with that. I mean if you are naturally skinny and like that look, then there's nothing wrong with it. Some prefer the curvy look, others more muscular etc.... and there's nothing wrong that, as long as it's not an unhealthy look. ....

But with my blog I want to get across body love. Body acceptance. Just because I like a certain look and look a certain way doesn't mean that i look at others who look different or like a different look and think they are wrong or ugly. No... everyone is allowed to look different.
  

 There is not a one size fits all. Body love,  loving your body should be one of your priorities in life. .. i mean it. If you are happy in your body, in the way you look then nobody can bring you down.  There is so much bullying,  discrimination etc because of body shape and weight.  Its just wrong. Find your positive sides.... say positive things about yourself. Learn to love yourself.

Investing time in self love is one of the best things you will do, and it will actually take you far in life. When you are more confident, better self esteem... you will also look better. If you are happy in yourself while out in town or with friends, and just critisizing yourself and comparing yourself, you will look better to others. And even with job oppertunities and things... if you are more confident, you are more likely to get the job.

So saying positives things about yourself, finding your good things .- that is NOT a waste of time. Its an investment into your future :) :)

Self love and body love at all sizes!! :)

You cant love yourself until you accept yourself

I love my body, the way i look, the way i feel. Its something which i have worked on over time. Learning to love myself and accpet my body. Saying positive things about myself.
  I dont have a thigh gap and amnt skinny does that matter - No. That is not what i want anyway. Does that make me any less pretty? Of course not. It doesnt affect me.... it doesnt make me a bad person, and it sure as hell doesnt mean im not pretty.

Its stupid, to let those thoughts rule you... to let ED's voice contrl you, and fool you. Thinking that you're not pretty, not worth life, not worth food... if you're nto skinny... if your hip bones dont show, or your collar bones etc etc...

You should be in control of yourself, in control of your thoughts... to look in the mirror, and see that you're beautiful. To not wake up each morning and hate yourself, hate your body.. i  know those feelings, i've had them. And its hard to overcomet he thoughts, to actually think positive.. its something you have to teach yourself... like maths... but once you know it... then its there forever. Even if you dont think about  it, and it maybe gets pushed to the back of your mind, its still in there.

Try to get into a routine of thinking positive!! To tell yourself that your beautiful, remind yourself that your worth life, and worth good thigns. you dont need to punish yourself.
   Dont look at others and compare yourself.. just love your self. Accept yourself.

You cant love yourself, think you look good, unless you accept yourself. you have to see your flaws and be like, yeah.. ok, maybe my nose is too big, or that is too small or im too short...(but thats not a flaw??!) or you know... and then dont get hooked up on it.. dont let yourself be bothered by these flaws. Because you're not unperfect or wrong, you're you and everyone is different.
Learn to love yourself and see the good things about yourself.

At the moment, i like the way i look... :) Im happy. Im not the skinniest person alive, im jsut normal... i like how i look though. I like going to the gym... its like i can see my body changing, in a good way!! I feel more toned, and more muscular!! I love it!!! :)
   And its like i have so much more energy... and i love how i feel good about myself!! when you dont feel all slow, and you just sit there hating yourself, hate looking in hte mirror..
   No... i like the way i look. i feel good in my body!!
Maye not all the time... Deifnitely not all the time. But now.... now ifeel good!!! :)

And you should too!!

Love Yourself day

So, as you might know on Friday its Valentines day... For some people that day is a depressing day, why because they're single. I just laugh.
  This will be another year where yes i am single - once again. Does that bother me? No not really. I dont feel i need a guy... or of course, i would love a boyfriend, i wouldnt say no. But i am so independant that i dont need to rely on someone else to make me happy. And i know that i wont be forever alone - even if it can feel like it at times.
 
The fact is Valentines day is so over commercialized. I mean, if you have a boyfriend/girl friend and they only treat you right, or give you flowers/present on valentines day and then treat you like crap the rest of the year, they're not much of a partner, are they?
  Valentines day can be sweet if you are a new couple - make the day/evening extra special. But i dont think it should be a day where single people feel depressed.

My sister is just recently single - after a bit of a nasty break up, so she isnt feeling all to excited this Valentines and she wants to go out partying or something.. Me, well i want to go to the gym just like normal ;) hahaha

Maybe i will go out, it is a Friday afterall and recently i have been wanting to go out drinking and partying... not like me at all!! But just for one night i want to be wild and free ;) haha

Anyway, what i was trying to say with this post is that if you are single... or even if you have a partner. This valentines show your love to others but also To yourself!!! You need to love yourself.

 
So i think that this Friday you should make the day All about you!!! DO things which you love. Go to the cinema... go to the library, go running, eat cake, eat pizza, eat salad, draw, sing, haev a spa day, invite friends over and have a movie marathon, bake etc etc
  Just do something which will make you happy. And also, compliment yourself... Say atleast 5 nice things about yourself on Friday (and every other day aswell ;)). Maybe make a list or collage of things which you like about yourself and your positive aspects...
  Set up goals and dreams which you want to reach for!!!

How to accept yourself

How to Accept Yourself

1. Focus on your positive qualities. It’s true that we can all improve in some ways – but start by finding your good qualities – and recognise that these are a major part of who you are.

2. Be aware of, and fight against, your negative self-talk. Negative self talk can quickly snowball and become an angry tirade against yourself – so you become your own worst critic and your own worst enemy. Instead, choose to respect yourself, to love, affirm and believe in yourself.

3. Don’t dwell on things you know you cannot change. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and flaws. They’re really not that crucial, and they’re not that big a deal. Try to keep them in perspective – and change what you CAN change.

4.  Make your own decisions – don’t always look to others, and think that they know better … But choose to trust yourself.

6. Always try to do your best – as that’s all that is required. You’re a normal human being who’ll sometimes get it wrong. Get up, forgive youself, then just choose to move on.   

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Learning self love

The greatest decision you will make in your life is to love and accept yourself. By failing to do so, you affect all different areas of your life negatively, whether it’s a relationship, your career, family, your future, and so on. None of these things will truly flourish until you are able to discover self love. Here are some important things to remember:

• Do not compare. No two people are exactly alike, everyone has different opportunities, talents, achievements, etc. Someone else’s success does not mean that you’ve failed. You have to focus on your own goals and achievements, and know that they are your own and no one elses. Compete with and challenge yourself to reach your goals, not other people. The greatest reward is reaching a goal and knowing that you did it solely for yourself.
• Patience. Learning to love yourself is not an overnight process, it takes time and effort. It’s an ongoing process, not a destination, and you will forever find new reasons and ways to appreciate your self worth as time goes on.
• Do what you love. Don’t like your job? Quit. Don’t like where you’re living? Move. I know that it’s not always that simple, but if you really want to change these things, you can. It takes determination and hard work, but once you understand that you deserve to be happy, it won’t seem so unattainable.
• Focus on the positive. Find the silver-lining in every situation. Understand that you have the ability to make the best out of everything you’re dealt. I know it’s cliché, but when one door closes, another will open. It’s making way for a better opportunity. Once your able to see this, you’ll be a much happier person.
• Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes, the important thing is that we learn from them to better ourselves. We do many things for different reasons, and are forced to act impulsively sometimes. Always be willing to forgive yourself and move forward. The past is the past, so focus on the now.
• Have fun. With all of our responsibilities in everyday life, it’s hard to fully disconnect and do something you enjoy. Find a hobby, relax, do something fun. You deserve to be happy.
• Accept uncertainty. This was one of the hardest things for me to do. Understand that the future is unknown and don’t stress about trying to control it. Yes, you have the ability to control certain things, but overall, you don’t know where you’ll be in 20 years. Unexpected things happen, and they’re almost always out of your control. Learn to live in and appreciate the now, and let the future take care of itself. What happens will happen, just know that you are fully capable at handling whatever is thrown your way.

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