Eating fear foods / having foods you dont like

Hi Izzy, I'm currently kinda half way recovered, 5 kg gained and 5 kg until I get to BMI x (and have kinda been stuck here for 6 + months), my question is, i havent challenged any "junk" fear foods mostly because it is not appitiseing - not because of calories or anything ED related (i think?) - but because i dont like lollies, chocolate, cakes, oily take away, cheese, soft drinks - even if its no calories!! etc... even artifical zero calorie sweeteners i dont like - i would much rather REAL sugar or fruit. I guess i just like the taste of food but not man made food!!

i had a taste of a "healthy" whilegrain cereal the other week and it was too artifically sweet for me! (i do like sweet things like bananas and berries) Its hard as i want to challenge my ED but i dont like any of the foods that are seen as challenging for NON ED reasons - should i force myself to eat it if i dont want it/wont have it in the future/if i was healthy i wouldnt ever choose it?

My fear foods are quite healthy so i dont know why theyre fears but everyone seems to not take them as serious fears even though its very challenging for ME. As well as being a vegetarian no one thinks im trying to recover :(

Fear foods - xxx

Sorry for long and confusing question - basically im asking - Should you eat food you TRULEY (NON ED) do not like to challenge the ED/recover properly?????


Hello,
  I understand what you mean, not know which foods are really fear foods and which foods you dont actualy like, sometimes they are intertwined. I know i had foods which i generally didnt like and then i had fear foods, however there were also foods which i had been scared of for so long and hadnt eaten and just said i didnt like them so that i wouldnt have to eat them. And it even went so long that i said i was allergic to eggs so that i wouldnt have to eat anything that had eggs in them because i was scared of eggs and mainly egg yolks. 

Tastebuds change over time and food preferances change over time as well so my suggestion to anyone in recovery is to try all foods... no foods are off limits. (Also why i dont promote veganism in recovery, of course i think veganism is awesome and more people should eat plant based HOWEVER i think that in recovery from an eating disorder no foods should be off limits... if you want something, allow yourself to eat it and later on when more mentally healthy you can make different choices regarding food and intake).

I think you should try all foods and have an open mind. That is the most important thing, because if you already decide that you dont like a food whether its because in the past you didnt like it or because you scared of it, then channces are you wont like it when you actually try it. I dont know how many foods i wouldnt eat now if i had just decided i didnt like them, or if i hadnt tried them again. For example potatoes, after my time at Mando i went roughly 3 years where i ate potatoes roughly 5-10 times during those 3 years because i just couldnt stand them but now i eat potatoes daily (however i still dont like boiled potatoes and that is an actual dislike, but i like potatoes in other cooked forms). So that is another advice, maybe you dont like food in one form but you like them in another.

Also you wrote that you dont like sweet stuff or processed stuff. Often people with eating disorder or who have orthorexia are very focused on "natural" or unprocessed food and the fact is that processed food doesnt have to be bad - everything in moderation. Of course i dont personally promote eating a bunch of processed food, however i do promote balance whatever that may be for a person. Everyone has a different balance with food, but i dont think anything should be off limits, everything can be eaten in moderation.  For example, i dont like crisps - and that is a dislike - however i can eat them now and aain just because they are "there" or because i get a random craving for them. However when they were a fear food i ddnt ever allow myself to eat them even if i craved them because they were so scary and too much anxiety involved with the food.

Which brings me to... 1) only you can know honestly whether you like a food or not, and the best thing is to try the food several times and to be honest with yourself and 2) if there is anxiety involved with the food then its a fear food and food you need to face and overcome so that no food gives you anxiety.  Everyone has different fear foods and the only way to overcome them is to eat them and keep eating them (in moderation) until they no longer give you anxiety... to take the fear and guilt away from the food and realise that there is no "good" or "bad" food. No one single food will make you gain weight, no single food will make you unhealthy - you can eat all types of food no matter size or weight, its just about personal balance. 

Allow yourself to eat different foods, you might not like chocolate or ice cream but if you get cravings for them or maybe just because of a social situation - you need to allow yourself to eat it. If you cant do that then maybe you do need to force yourself to eat the food just to prove to yourself that you can. 

At times in social situations i forced myself to eat foods i didnt like just because the situation called for it or to be polite, or just to prove to myself that i could. Once again, another reason why veganism might not be the best in recovery because there are times you say no to foods or dont eat food in social situations because there are animal products in it and that can be too restrictive and unhealthy if you have an eating disorder.

Be honest with yourself, try different foods, be open to foods and dont have restrictitions thats my best advice. We all have foods we dont like and thats ok, but its just to know yourself why you dont like the food and whether it is connected with guilt or anxiety or just a general food preferance.

Fear foods & clean eating

I am afraid that if I allow myself to eat fear foods, I will get addicted to them. I don't want to abandon healthy eating. Tips please?

You have to face your fear foods someday... you cant live your life scared of certain foods, thats not living life.

  And if you keep telling yourself that you cant eat something, then you are more likely to binge on it once you do eat it. Its like when a person diets or restricts... they just focus on what they cant eat. All they think about is foods they cant eat and once they do eat the food they cant stop....

   Ask yourself why you are scared of those foods? What is it that is so scary... you wont become fat or gain weight just because you eat a certain food, it doesnt work that way. You need to overcome your fears.

This post might help you : /2014/03/facing-fear-foods.html

/2014/09/eating-normal-foods.html

/2014/10/panic-when-eating-answer.html

Also know that being obsessed with healthy eating isnt healthy... that can be orthorexia if you are obsessed with just eating certain foods and not allowing yourself anything 'processed'. Dont restrict yourself, instead find a balance with all types of food.

Here are some posts which can help:

/2014/10/is-clean-eating-just-another-form-of.html

/2014/08/nothing-is-unhealthy-in-recovery.html

/2014/07/orthorexic-or-just-healthy.html

/2014/06/just-eating-healthy.html

Face your fears and fight your ED!!

Answer

Do you ever force yourself to eat healthy or turn down unhealthy foods when you really want them? 
I guess I normally would consider myself to have a healthy diet and eat well, but recently I seem to be eating more and more unhealthy food. The last few days I have had a cake or dessert every day on top of 3 big meals and snacks. On the one hand I think I should start trying to eat more healthy and turn them down, but on the other I just really want to be able to eat these things and if I don't I feel like I'm denying myself and it stresses me out. How do you find a middle ground between the two or do you just never want unhealthy things in the first place? 

First off, No i dont deny myself junk food or eat a healthy option even though i want the unhealthy option. That would not be very healthy. Sometimes its more healthy to eat chocolate than oatmeal... all depending on things.
  The reason i didnt buy ice cream was because i didnt want one, i wasnt the only one who didnt. Even if the sun was shining i still found it quite cold, and in all honesty ice cream isnt my favourite, ok well Ben and Jerrys is :) It sounds like im making excuses now. But the fact is, I didnt want one. Does that make me sick, of course not.
  Like yesterday, i bought trail mix... just because. Not because i was particularly craving chocolate, but because i thought it would be nice to have some. I wrote that i didnt eat much of it, but later in the evening i ate about 3/4 of it - my sister ate the rest! 

You should listen to your body and your cravings. If you want chocolate or cake, Go for it. You shouldnt get bad feelings about it - Ever! While i was in recovery i ate chocolate, cake, sweets etc very often.  Infact trail mix became one of my regular snacks because i loved it! I was challenging my fears, of course i felt like i could never say no. 
  While you're in recovery its better to eat cake a little too often, than neveer. Who knows maybe in a months time you wont be craving cake at all, and then wont eat it for a few weeks, and then you get cravings for it again etc
  If you dont want it, then you're not depriving yourself. But if you do want it, and keep saying no you cant have it. Then you are depriving yourself. 

You need to honor what your mind says... not the ED part of your mind. If you feel that you want ice cream while none of your friends do or your ED says no, you cant have it... then go have an ice cream!!

Finding the balance between healthy and unhealthy, well thats just listening to your body and your signals. Its different for everyone. I mean i dont get so many cravings for cake or biscuits etc but you know what, sometimes the only thing on my mind is cake and then i'll have some.

But you have to remember, i dont write about everything i eat on my blog. This is not a food diary. I snack between meals...I even snack between snacks!
  Somedays i eat oatmeal for a snack another day i might eat egg on bread another day its chocolate etc etc I dont decide what i am going to eat until like 5 minutes before.

Hopefully this has helped :)

Facing a fear food

Part of recovery is stepping outside of your comfort zone. When you are sick you put up walls around yourself, you restrict yourseld from life. And restrict certain foods. and you end up with a list of fear foods for different reasons. The most typical onea are carbs, chocolate, junk food etc.
  My fear foods list was long with pretty much all types of food. I actually still have the paper where I wrote all my fear foods and safe foods down when I was 14 years old, and I can say the only safe foods I had on my list was apples, soup, lentils, tea and coffee.....

The fact is you cant really live a life when you live with all these restrictions and fears. Its easy to tell yourself that you will recover but that you will never eat certain foods and you will never weigh more than X kilo. But that is you ED talking.... becauae if you think about if, thats not how normal people think.

   Also this is why I say that you shouldn't focus on eating healthy or only clean foods while recovering because that is just setting uo restrictions.  You're not getting rid of the sick mind set. As you cant seem to be able to eat junk food. And this is the same with turning vegan or vegetarian while in recovery. I think you can make all these choices when you are mentally healthy from your ED.
  
I have said this before, but it's a good reminder. You dont gain weight from just 1 certain food. You dont gain weight/become fat etc if you eat a burger or some chocolate or even if you eat a whole Ben and Jerrys ice cream.
      While in recovery you need to try your fear foods.

And the best way to do that.... well, some prefer to plan it. To decide that say on Tuesday for my afternoon snack im going to try a piece of cake. Whilst others prefer to do it more spontaneously so that they dont get the anxiety before hand.
   

For me, while I was facing my fear foods I decided to do it more spontaneously because I realised that when I planned to try a fear food I would end up eating less before hand and get so much anxiety before actually eating the fear food that I would end up not trying the food.
   However somedays I felt really strong in recovery then I wanted to try a fear food.

What I found was that the anxiety was always worst before eating because then I would conjure up 100 bad scenarios of what would happen if I ate the food. But then once I began eating I would actually enjoy the food..... and then afterwards there came anxiety and thoughts of compensation.

But my best tip is to have someone with you if you plan on trying a fear food. Because then they can sit with you or do something with you to keep you from compensating/purging/self harming etc
   And if you do get lots of anxiety and on your own remind yourself that there is nothing bad with eating. That you did a good thing! That  you are strong. And do you really want to negate that by compensating?
  
Remind yourself that to recover you need to do things which scare you. You need to fight your ED. Fight the voice in your head.
  And the thing is, it gets easier. Once you realise that you actually can eat the fear food, that nothing bad happens then you can do it again.
  
Even if you only manage half of the fear food, that is good. That is better than not trying at all. And even if you fail, that the anxiety is too much. There's always another time.

Eating carbohydrates,  fats, chocolate,  sweets, crisps it's part of life. Do you need to eat chocolate,  pizza, crisps everyday? No you don't.  But being able to eat them is part of life.
   While I was in recovery I tried all types of foods, I tried pizza several times but found that I just don't like it.... However it's been numerous times that I've been with friends or my parents have ordered pizza and ive taken a slice or two, just to be social. You need to try foods several times before you decide whether you like it or not...

^^ The first time i tried pizzza

   Like cola.... i have tried normal cola  a few times. But I just don't like it. And I rarely drink diet cola anymore. I dont even drink it if I'm offered.  This however is a choice I have made as a healthy person. There is no voice in my head telling me that I can't or shouldn't drink it. It's a choice I have made.

Don't set up walls around yourself or hide yourself from life just because you're scared of eating. You will miss out on alot in life if you constantly say no to things just because you don't want to eat.
   Instead face your fears. Choose recovery and healthy!!


^^^This was one of the first times i was going to eat a pastery after about a year in recovery. I had spent 15 minutes staring at all the pasteries in the cafe and was having a break down .I didnt want any of them...  i couldnt decide. So instead, my mum decided on that pastery, with jam in the middle. I sat there and started regretting that i had ordered a latte and not a black coffee. I didnt want any extra calories. I was breaking down inside and the anxiety was tearing me apart.
  But i saw how my mum looked at me, waiting for me to eat. Hoping that i would actually eat the pastery and not just sit there and tear it apart as i had done before.
  But i did eat it, and i did drink half of my latte. And i felt proud, even if i still had anxiety. But the anxiety passed.... and by the next day i had already forgotten that i had eaten a pastery. It was like nothing at all.
   Did everything suddenly become easier, after that? No, it took time and i had to keep facing my fear foods. Keep going against the anxiety and the voice in my head.But it is possible!!! And you have to remember that.

^^ balance of healthy and unhealthy

And also, when you are out at a cafe or restaurant, dont let your ED control you. Dont think about calories or fat or any of that... just choose the option which you want! Choose the thing that looks yumiest... not the thing that has least calories. You need to face your fears!

Overcoming fear foods

I will try to write a post with tips on how to overcome a fear food... or maybe even do a video(??!) but for now, hopefully this picture helps :)


SOURCE: http://peenutbutterprincess.tumblr.com/post/53796270844/a-guide-to-overcoming-your-fear-foods-peanut

Fear foods if you're healthy?

I got asked yesterday if i had any fear foods, and my answer is no. I have foods which i dont like, sausages (i dont lke the meat sausages or quorn sausages), mushrooms, brussel sprouts, red meat, some quorn products & some types of fish.
   
It is normal to have foods you dont like, i mean you cant like all types of food. But then again, maybe you can? Its all about learning to like them.  But foods like curries or spicy food, that is something which i dont like, and ive tested several times (just like all the other food i dont like... just to see if my taste buds have changed) but nope, i still dont like them.
   
There are also foods which i can eat, and have no problem eating, but dont eat on a regular basis. I.e chocolate, ice cream, fries etc I only eat those foods if im craving them, or im at a party and they're offered or whatever. They're not foods that give me anxiety thinking about them, or make me want to skip doing things with friends, just because the fear of maybe having to eat those types of foods. I have no problem going for a coffee and a bun with a friend.

Then there is the fact that i dont like pizza, and of course, there will always be someone telling you that you are doing wrong. I mean, everyone likes pizza right? And your unnormal if you dont. But the fact is, i dont like pizza. And i dont think there is anything wrong with that. Because i can eat pizza, and not feel guilty afterwards. If i were with friends and they all decided to go to pizza hut, i would of course go with them and eat pizza. I mean i  have had a slice or two of pizza when my mum & P have ordered, just to try it and see if change my mind. But to me, a slice or two is just enough. There is something with pizza that is just too much for me.
  But im pretty sure, if i were to travel back to Italy, i would most probably eat pizza several times, because ive heard that they make the best pizzas there? :)
  
My best advice is to write down foods you dont like and your fear foods. And at some point test them.... test them several times. Just to see. And if you find that you are eating eating one of your foods thaat you dont like, but actually do like them... even if you dont want to admit it, then you know that its not something that you dont like... you do actually like it.
   And the same with fear foods. I mean common fear foods are oils/butters/cream/carbs & junk food and other foods.
 
The fact is, oils, butter, cream, potatoe/pasta/rice etc those are generally everyday foods. And shouldnt be feared. Using some oil to fry something isnt going to make you fat, however, if you use like half a liter of oil... well then yes, there is an excess of calories. But using a little everyday, there is nothing wrong with that. And eating rice/pasta/potatoe those are everyday carbohydrates which your body needs.
   And foods like chocolate/ice cream/pizza/fries etc etc... those generally aren't foods which are eaten everyda... though i guess it depends. But i mean, most people dont reccommend them to be eaten everyday. So eating those now and again really isnt any problem. You need to allow yourself to try them. And if you find for example that you find milk chocolate is just too sweet for you, well then thats up to you. No one else can tell you which foods you like and dont like.

That is one thing which i hate about dieticians and doctors at ED clinics. I was told that to be declared healthy i had to be able to eat all foods. And thats what i had to do. Even though somethings which i had ot eat, i hated. Some of course were ED fears, but others, i just didnt like them. But when i became a day patient, i got a bit more freedom to choose which products i wanted. Which made it easier to eat (when i decided to actually follow the meal plan, that is).
   I do believe in trying all types of foods. There is no point in limiting yourself to your daily, normal foods and never trying anything else... because that eventually gets boring.



My personal opinion, can you be healthy and still have fear foods? Well i dont know. Everyone is different. But i dont think you should have fear foods if you actually are healthy. Because if you actually are healthy, both physically and mentally, then you know that eating a certain type of food, now and again, isnt going to make you gain weight. Or even eating say pasta or rice, or using oil everyday (which can often be fear foods) is not going to affect your weight.
   Its all about balance and moderation. Eating too much of anything can make you gain weight whether its milk, apples or fries....

Now i feel i've lost my trail of thought.... haha XD So i'll end my post here, and of course leave your opinion if you want. Or comment :)

Answer

I got this comment yesterday, and i thought i would answer it in a post because im sure others can relate to the comment:

im finding it hard to eat with my family. im asian and we basically have half our plates with white rice with every meal! its still on my fear foods list and i just end up purging (or feeling really bad) help?

You shouldnt feel bad about eating white rice. It is a great food. And as its your fear food, its something which you need to test eating and overcome the fear. Look at your family, i mean they can eat white rice, so why cant you?
  Eating rice wont magically make you gain weight... no food does that. I know it can be hard to eat a fear food, but it has to be done. What is so different with rice, compared to any of your safe foods?
  Talk to your family, and see if maybe you can eat noodles, pasta, couscous, potatoes etc a few times a week instead?


Eating with your family, and eating what is cooked, is normal and healthy. Its part of recovery to be able to eat what is served. I know its a challenge and its tough, but be strong. And find something to distract you after you've eaten when you feel guilty or feel like purging.... draw/write/read/talk to a friend/watch a film/paint etc etc But dont sit alone in your room, or be alone.  Because that is when the thoughts are worst.

Fear foods

Hmm... well all food was fear food, really... i was just scared to eat. Anything more then a 90kcal cereal bar and an apple a day was too much.


But i suppose here is a bit of what was on my fear food list 

• milk ( i only drank pretended to drink soya milk)
• any cereal apart from cornflakes
• banana
• yoghurt
• bread
• butter
• cheese
• any sandwich toppings
• pasta
• potatoes
• bacon
• fried food
• ready made oats
• jam
• rice pudding
• nuts, raisins, seeds
• battered food
• mcdonalds
• milkshakes
• burgers/pizza/fries etc etc
• chocolate/crisps/pasteries/sweets etc etc
• meat - apart from fish/chicken/turkey
• soup/stew - apart from the soups which had a GDA, and low calorie content
• juice
• sauces - never ate sauces though
• oil/cream/butter
• ice cream

Things like that... i think i named pretty much all the foods?! haha