AAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHH............
I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF.
Why can't I just do right? I cheat and cheat and cheat. I want to become fucking healthy.
Why does Ana have so much control over me? Just let me go!!! Let me do what's right.
I want to become healthy. I want my life back. I don't want anorexia longer. I don't want the serecey. The lies. The loneliness. The pain.
Just take it away from me.
It seemed like it would be good. I was ready to do right.
But I'm gonna take your advice E. I may not be able to do 100% this time. But if I can atleast do 30-40% right?
Not cheat with lunch and dinner. And try to atleast eat everymeal. Or the main bit if each meal - as in if I have a yoghurt and a biscuit, atleast eat the yoghurt.
I'll try. if I try then next time it be easier?
After a 5 year struggle with anorexia (with purging tendencies), depression, self harm and over exercising I have now been recovered for 4 years and i use my blog to help others in the same situation i once was. I am now a happy and positive person who wants to inspire those struggling to choose recovery and to take control over life and happiness again!
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Life without Anorexia
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: [email protected]
If you mangage to eat the yoghurt this time, then it won't be as hard to do the same next time. The one thing that matters is that you do more right each time and carry on forward. That you don't go back or start to cheat even more.
ReplyDeleteRemember; rather almost right than completely wrong