Last night I had a nightmare about Mando. its not the first time I've had this sort of nightmare. Infact after Mando i felt so scarred by spending almost 2 years in hospital that i found it very difficult to sleep anywhere apart from at home. That was one of the reasons that I didn't want to travel during 2012 and 2013. I would get so much anxiety that i wasn't at home. And it even happened times where I spent the evening/night somewhere else but would take a taxi home at 3/4 am just so I could sleep and wake up in my own bed.
Anyway, onto my dream/nightmare. I dreamt that i was forced to be at Mando. I cried and cried trying to convince the staff that i wasn't sick, that i was healthy and didn't need to be there. I showed them I could eat properly but they still didn't believe me.
In my dream I screamed and cried, trying to get away but they kept telling me that I was going to be there forever.
Anyway, onto my dream/nightmare. I dreamt that i was forced to be at Mando. I cried and cried trying to convince the staff that i wasn't sick, that i was healthy and didn't need to be there. I showed them I could eat properly but they still didn't believe me.
In my dream I screamed and cried, trying to get away but they kept telling me that I was going to be there forever.
The past week I've only been having nightmares... lots of blood and violence. which is weird as i really don't watch alot of scary things. And I usually never dream, but now when I dream - or remember dreams anyway they're nightmares. :/
Mando saved my life, but at the same time it still haunts me. A fear of mine is that i will end up in hospital. Someday I am sure I will have to stay in hospital due to my CF. but it scares me so much.... just the thigght of Spending a night in hospital gives me anxiety.
I have so many bad memories from Mando and hospital.... :/
I have so many bad memories from Mando and hospital.... :/
There must be something behind those nightmares! I hope you'll find the problem soon and will help yourself out of it :(
ReplyDeleteI think its just because i wrote the post about Mando. Whenever i think too much about Mando or my time there i can end up getting nightmares because i am always so scared of going back even if i am healthy.
DeleteI'm sorry you're having nightmares. I wish I could help. Xx
ReplyDeleteNaaw thank you. I'm hoping they go over soon.
DeleteRandom fact; the sheet on your pillow at the picture... I do have the same sheets, haha.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know just how you feel, I've had a lot of nightmares about being locked up in treatment when I'm out of hospital.