Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: [email protected]

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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Not decided yet.

Basically I have tonight and tomorrow to show that I can follow my goals and get to go home for the weekend. Basically L is gonna decide Saturday morning. It gives me more time, but it's almost worse cus I won't know if I can go or not. :/
So I have to follow my manometer curve - exact. I told her I can't do that. I've never been able to do that. But she says I have to.
Today for lunch though, I did really well. It was the best I've EVER done. But yet - no recognition.
Then for breakfast and snacks I have 20 minutes to eat. And I eat in 20 minutes. I do admit - I could eat in 15 if I allowed myself.
Then I need to sit on the sofa with my legs up. I've done that - despite the difficulty.
No napkins - not done. But you can't take my napkin away? It's only when I use butter which I mess around. And I'm trying to skip using butter so I don't have to mess around.
Then... There was something else.

So L is nice, but she's strict. I'm gonna work my hardest, cus I want to come home. But I have a feeling I won't do right at home.

Today we went to the library!! That was something - got to go out.
And then there was supposed to be relaxation - there was, but I on purposely made sure I would be with the school teacher so I wouldn't go - hehe!!

Tomorrow I get to go out!! Hurrah. But not really. As I take lunch out and then go fika for my 3 snack. But I get to come out of Mando, and we walk around a castle. So a bit of movement? I'm not to sure.

Then for dinner, mums coming. Not really looking forward to that. I was before, but now I realized that they're gonna walk mum through the manometer again. Telling her how I plate up etc etc. - yes. I did thinking could get away with doing wrong.

For dinner tonight have - butter fried fish with cooked potatoes and a creamy turnip sauce. NOT looking forward to it. :( variation, please?
I mean for lunch I had beef in a tomato sauce and rice. It was nice. We'll considering that I've basically had the same meals for 3 weeks. It was something different.

Now I have 2 hours until that horrible dinner. Uurrgghh

2 comments:

  1. Hello pretty! Loved your clothes today! You looked so sophisticated in them :)
    Congratulations for your steps forward! I'm proud of you, believe me. <3
    I told you L is tough, but I thank God she was hard with me because I learned how to do things right. I didn't have a choice, I just did what I had to, and in the end it felt natural. And I stopped fearing that. Because it's not worth it.
    Btw, tomorrow is that trip with A&H?

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  2. Hahah.. thank you! i was actually gonna say that you look really good!! :)
    Yeah... it did work. she told me, if i dont follow my curve, then i might not get time out. and you know what? it worked... i practically followed it. but she didnt get to see the curve, so she jstu ad to trust me what i said.
    i suppose with in time. things will come natural again. i wont think so much about weight and following my meal plan will jstu be something i do. (like before christmas.)
    i jsut have to keep going forward.

    Yeah... it is. You going?

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