but now.... my goal weight is goin to be increased. also, as my age has changed, im now older than i was when i was given my goalweight. so taken all that int account, i bet its gonna be like 5kg more added onto my previous goal weight...noooo how can you do that? i dont think ive ever been that heavy before. how can i go to that?
i mean....1 cm is not alot to grow.. but 5kg is alot to go up. i mean...it will be noticeable.
Im scared.
Later today i meet the dctor, to talk. i dont know how that will go. we'll see.
Im in such pain. i mean, is it even legal to feel like this? head pounding, heartburn, stomach killing me. And of course.... not allowed any painkillers. Fuck.
This weekend, i think will go well. Me and mum might get to stay in the hotel. as i told my case manager that i dont want ot go home. its too much.
so if we can do that. i think things will go well!! :)
I cant go home.
It might not make a difference, i mean, if i want to cheat... will it matter where i am. whether im at home or in the hotel. but ithink it will make a difference.
but now that i think about it. im suddenly kinda scared. like....mums gonna be strict with me. kinda scary.
But we'll see... maybe mum cant even come to stay. but hopefully. otherwise im going to have to be here all weekend.
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