Coffee time.

Today, i havent done much... like at all. I had been planning to go siwmming today, and was considering it even though i could barely breathe... but in the end. My lazy side got the better of me :) haha
   So i decided to spend a day watching TV series and cutting&pasting in my vision book.
  Ive also cut out loads of recipes, as im planning to make a recipe book!!
 
In the evening, when i was bored out of my mind. Restless. Tired. Anxiety growing. That was when D called and asked if i wanted to go for coffee. One part of me was saying no. no. no.... stay inside. But my rational side was like, what am i going to do inside all day? Im just going to become more restless and my anxiety will just grow. So even though i didnt feel like leaving the house, i knew i had to push myself to actually leave.
  And im glad that i did. Because i did feel alot better. And i even went to buy my 'recipe' book which i will be filling in. And also a diary. I used to write diaries all the time, especially when i was sick. Because i wasnt so honest here in the blog, as im sure many already knew. I said i was doing better. I wanted to recover, but then the next week i would be admitted as an inpatient again.
   And in my diaries, there i was honest...

And now, for different reasons, i feel i cant write everything out here in the blog. 1) because it so open and public. 2) because people i know read my blog and 3) because no. I dont feel so great and i really dont want to bring anyone down. I want this blog to be positive and motivating. I dont want to sit here and write abotu how shit i feel. There is alot im not writing down. About anxiety, sadness, lonliness etc etc... all these thoughts. And i feel im abotu to explode... so im resorting to a diary. Which is much better form of letting everything out.
   Of course, im still going to be updating here. But hopefully there wont be so much depressing posts? haha XD
So anyway, me and D sat for almost 2 hours at a cafe talking about different things. And it felt good!! Even if at first i felt tired and unsocial.
   There was also some like half celebrity who tried to sneakily take a photo of us? And we dont know why...? haha.
  Im sure i didnt see so flattering!! hahah  XD So im hoping that picture wont go public :) but kinda weird, im curious about why he took the photo... as it was quite obvious that he took of me and D!! XD

So that was my evening, im now going to make dinner... im thinking a prawn-vegetable wok!! :)
  And then continue doing nothing!! :)

ME :)