Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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Today is one of those 'ugly days'. I hate the way I look. All these thoughts in my head.... :/ This morning I woke up early (I.e 8am) and made some tea and ate my pancakes from yesterday with peanut butter and banana!! (So nice!!!!). I felt my eyes just drooping closed. I then went to cuddle my dog lying on the bed. And before I knew It I had fallen asleep again!!! Haha. Usually I can never fall asleep again once I'm awake. But I guess I was tired!! Just been out with my dog!!! I'm not going to be doing anything to day... just taking it easy and mentally preparing myself for school tomorrow.. my thoughts are swirling round and round. I just feel blank.... dead. I don't feel anything. Recently I've found it very hard to feel happy. Like it's not as easy to smile any more. I have actually mentioned to my mum that I would like to take something I.e antidepp or johnswart(think it's called) which is a natural remedy. My mum didn't get it.... she was like. Your fine aren't you? Why do you need them? It's like she doesn't see? But I guess why should she? I'm not exactly going around shouting out that I'm feeling sad. Lonely. More anxiety. :/ Ok.. now this post is just dragging on.... as usual. X

3 comments:

  1. Aww Izzy! Keep strong. You know, I still get those "ugly days" you're talking about, so I'm pretty sure it's normal and part of life (even at 27, hehe!) and I get to feel lonely sometimes too. It actually happens when I am really alone in the house, I just miss so much having people around, their voices, their noises, even if they're not talking to me, it's just such a comfort to feel some human presence around, if I'm making sense :)

    Maybe, when you start feeling like that, why don't you do one of these things:
    1-Grab the phone and talk to a friend
    2-Get ready and go out somewhere crowded, like the town center and into a nice cafeteria, when you can sit, maybe doing your homework and having the comfort of people around
    3-Go to the gym and spend some time there, even if you don't feel like working out, I think the gym is a social place where it's nice to be when you're feeling alone.

    These are only ideas, they usually work for me.
    Also, if you wish, send me a message on Facebook or maybe a text(I don't mind sending you my number), I'll be there for you for a chat and some supporting words whenever you need me to.

    Keep strong xxx

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    Replies

    1. I guess everyone has these types of days. Where they just feel low and tired. Theres nothing wrong with that.

      Those ideas are great! When i feel like this, going out is usually the last thing i want to do. But going for a walk usually helps... to just leave the house and see somethign else. Not just sit in the same four walls! They are great ideas! :) Talking to a friend helps as well!

      Naww thank you :)

      Hope you are doing ok!! :) Busy with the wedding plans? :)

      xx

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    2. I'm doing goo, thank you! The "planning" is slowly coming together, hehe, we booked the date and the venue, now looking for the a good and cheap photographer, making a guest list...It's still early days anyway!
      Thanks for asking, you're sweet xxx

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