Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

Translate

thoughts and words

At the moment, i feel so weird.. i feel numb.
  I feel so lost... so meaningless.. i dont know what to do anynmore. M ymotivation is completly gone.. i dont see th epoint in fighting anymore, fighting to gain weight.... i believe im healthy. I dont have a problem with food... i just cant see to gain weight.

I actually feel so pathetic telling all of you to gain weight.. telling you all to do something and keep fighting, even though at the moment it feels like ive given up... ive been strong for too long, fighting for too long.
 Im not going to be sick again, im never going back down that path again... never.never.never.

But it feels like ive done all i come.. and theres nothing more to fight for..

Just rambling, ranting.. writing what i think.

I have so much on my mind at the moment, all i want to do is sit on my bed, plug in my ipoid and write... write stories, write poems, write my opinoin on things, write whats on my mind....
   haha... i love writing.


I want to start making a difference with my writing.. i want to change the world.

But i guess the best thing to do now is to just change my mind....

I will be positive.. i will keep going. wheyther its just standing right here on the line, not declared healthy, but not sick either... thats fine with me. Until i get my motivation back anyway, i know it will be back... someday i'll realise that theres no point being in the middle....
  either i fully recover or i return to being sick, theres no point being in hte middle... pendling between healthy and sick.

I was seriously considering not awqriting on my blog anymore.. but i feel i want to. Maybe not as often... i dont know. but it helps me.. i love that i can write out what i think, how my days have beeen.
  And all the lovely comments i get from everyone, pepping me.. taking time to write on my blog and give me inspirational words..

I've been told by some that im an inspiration, but i really dont see that.. im jsut a girl... i cant be someone to look up, i cafnt be an inspiration , everyone struggles, everyone fights, and everyone can recover. you just have to want it.

Seems pathetic that im saying it, but keep strong and keep fighting! :)
  havea  good day everyone :)

1 comment:

  1. i wish i could tell you how awesome it is to gain weight because of all the things that you will be able to do. but that would make me a hypocrite. i'm struggling with the same thing and that stupid weight is what is keeping me from actually moving on and living life to its fullest.

    but what i can tell you is that you are worthy. and by what you are writing and posting on your blog, even if it may not seem like it to you, you are making a difference. else people wouldn't come read it. i wish you well.

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