Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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Saturday, March 20, 2010

Our thoughts.

Ok, so i know many of you, if you dont have an eating disorder or haven't dealt with it, you wont get us. And thats ok, but maybe you shouldnt be on this page then.?
 
So we dont all know why we start or why we get hte ED, maybe it was on purpose, we wanted to lose weight, it was accidental, just something you were trying, you actually didnt mean to do it, or it's how you cope with something. But either way, you want to get rid of it, or maybe you dont, but it's what's good for you. You cant live with an ED controlling you life, because thats what it does. It takes over your life, it tells you that theres no need to get rid of the ED, the ED is your friend. It tells you your fat, you're useless, good for nothing. It gets us down. We dont know how to deal with it.

So, even though we know that we should stop, gte help. We cant.
 The ED controls us.

So in school, when we did eating disorders i just smiled and made a joke or two, very ignorant and can upset people who actually deal with eating disorders, i get it now.
  I did have anorexia, but i didnt think anything of it, i just didnt eat much, that didnt make me anorexic, apparently it does!!
 But with the bulimia, i didn't get it. why would anyone ever want to puke like that??
I was stupid, and look at me, now i have it. Karma i suppose.

But actually i remember before i started puking like that, i was talking to a dietitian and she was asking me if i ever did anything like, make myself puke i told her "no" why would anyone want to do that, but i suppose things change. But to be honest, i never wanted to do it, i just did it, never thought of it.

So our mind is like wired, it makes us see things which aren't there, that "fat" which is on our stomach, or makes us think things, "we're ugly, we're fat" all sorts of things.

In this blog im going to try to stay away form things, like numbers, weight,calories things can trigger binges or purges, im not sure what they are for you, but for your benefit i'll try to stay away from them!! :)

Hopefully things are looking good for you?

X

1 comment:

  1. Ok, well the no numbers thing kinda went down the drain! Oooppps... its too hard for me to stay away from calories and stuff like that.

    ReplyDelete

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