Of course, it is very easy to think of it that way. And even i got a little shocked thinking, have i not let go of my ED? Am i still holding on to it? I dont have any ED thoughts or behaviours left... so why am i blogging`?
But the fact is, i blog to help others. I mean long ago i thought about giving up my blog. I started my blog as an online journal. A way for me to write out my emotions and thoughts, and then over the years i recovered... and i still enjoyed blogging so i began blogging about my life and my life after anorexia. And then it turned into a bit of an online help blog :) And i began helping others who are in the same situation i was.
Does that mean i am holding onto my ED? No, i dont think so. Of course, i want to change my URL!! It doesnt fit any more.... haha, whenever i write to people and say the name of my blog i always feel so awkward i mean 'living-with-anorexia'... Not any more.
So i am goingg to have to get around to changing it. However that means i have to buy the domain 'living-with-anorexia' as i dont want anyone else to take it, and also buy a new domain... But also, im wondering if i should still be on Blogger, or change blog portal.
However, all those changes means that i would most probably lose readers... But of course i will warn all of you before i do any change like that :)
Also, i dont write so much about my ED anymore. I mean sometimes i write old diary entries or bring back old memories and that.. .but i prefer to just look into the future and write about now. And then of course some help topics and things like that.
But it was a good question from my sister because i did really have to think about it. Because part of true recovery is completely letting go of your ED. Which i infact have done, more than a year ago. I dont run a blog where i constantly talk about my ED (or doesnt feel like it anyway?), i keep mine positive, helping others. Not to brag or boast or say that i have had an ED.
Hahah, i dont even know why i wrote this post. It was more just thoughts in my head :)
I'm really glad you still have this blog. I am too a recovered anorexic and your posts are always appealing. I like the way you write and I would definitely continue to read your blog if you change it. I'm certain you won't lose any of your readers if you give them a heads up first. I wish you all the best! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteYou know what Izzy? The fact that you're still writing this blog is a proof that you have recoverd 100%!!!! Because if not then you couldn't take it as a part of your life. I mean you couldn't help others... Because you would be to close to this illness. This is amazing what you've done! and probably as I know it is YOUR Work. How did you do this? How did you manage to fully LOVE yourself after year of hating your body and soul? I'm wondering and I'm afraid I won't achieve such an amazing thing... It's my biggest goal and dream so I shouldn't say sth like this but I'm getting trough tough time now ;( sorry
ReplyDeleteThat's what I wanted to say... I admire you and your blog... Because you now what? You've recoverd and you are truly healthly!!! You would never get back to those sick times. And this is how to recognize if you are on a good track. Because I have been almost restored and healthy but if you got ask me if I was happy and if I don't miss the past anorexia times... I wouldn't say: no. Because I've been missing the sick body, weaknes... Because my had was so sick... Still... I couldn't love my body. And... I relapsed again... And now I'm this little girl again and I'm hoping that this time I will fully recover just like you...
Izzy I don't know what would I do without you. Really. And sorry I don't want to be rude but i would like eve more more more supportive posts...
Love :) hope you will answer a word ;)
Thank you !!! You have to really fight against the voice in your head, step outside of your comfort zone. Do things which scare you.. that is part of recovery. And you have to change your thoughts from negative to positive. And whenever you get feelings of hating the way you look you need to remind yourself of something positive about yourself. See the good things.
DeleteIll try write more supportive and motivational posts, but its very hard as it feels like i just keep repeating the same thing over and over. And also its hard to please everyone...
Is there any certain topic you want to read about?
You're gorgeous! Thank you for your answer!!!
DeleteYes… I know… It so so so scary! But Izzy it is so so so so hard :( When I think about sth bad, about my failures, sth I don't like about my self, then it is just not working to remind myself sth positive… I know that maybe I'm not trying as hard as I could..? I don't know, I just can't cope with that!!! But I'm not punishing myself and I'm not cheating with my recovery… I am eating whatever is going on. I just know what i have to do and even it is hard, Im not giving up… But sometimes it is just maintaining in this stupi stupid stupid life with anorexia… I don't want this anymore.
Izzy I know it may sounds like repeating the same but that's how it is about recovery… We have to remind ourselves again and again that we HAVE to eat/do sth etc… We just have to :) So I would like to read about how was it in your case… How did you do that that youre actually LOVING yourself… I haven't harmed myself… You have!!! That's awesome (sorry if it sounds not good) that after sth THAT horrible you are living your life… HAPPY!!!!
YOU ARE MY BIGGEST inspiration!!! So i would like to read about how to cope with gaining weight, how to work on our sefesteems, how to RECOVER just how it is… Just everything! What should we do, what shuld we think about… How to get trough this and how to live with the family when everybody is just hurting ... Im sorry maybe Im rambling but im sooooo happy youve just answered me and you are asking me what do i want to read!! Awesome :D THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH IZZZY!!!!!!!!
Im struggling really… :( But i wont give up!!!!!!!
I live in the believing that it is possible to change the URL simply or it is easy to move all the posts to another URL. I have no idea how is that supposed to happen but I remember this kind of changes happening in other blogs.
ReplyDeleteBy the way I've thought about this subject for you for a while, I once asked too if it feels like you always will have a part of ed in your mind since you write a blog of living with/life without anorexia many times a day. I see that you want to help and please keep on doing that just the same, but I just wondered - doesn't it keep your own worst times always there in the fresh memory then though?
-Katriina :)
Yeah i need to do some research before hand :)
DeleteNo it doesnt really keep the memories alive as i dont write so much about myself when i was sick.. or i mean i do sometimes when i think about my past. But generally its more about helping others and about my present.. ;)
haha you have no idea how many times have I tried to find your blog by typing 'living WITHOUT anorexia' in google and later realised that it was still WITH....so this is a problem :-p
ReplyDeleteJ
Yeah, i really need to fix that... because i mean my 'name' and header are living without... but my URl is living with... :/
Delete