Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: [email protected]

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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

panic attack

I haven't had a panic attack in ages. And its not a good experience - Itits just as bad as angst and guilt. i don't even know why it happened. it was just that things didn't go as planned. i was almost in tears even though i knew it was stupid. in the end i just took some attarax (calming pills) and just sat on the sofa. watching desperate housewives. i was just about to eat my night snack when i got the awful panicky feelings - and suddenly i wasn't hungry anymore. i just wanted to skip the meal. but instead i wait a half hour or so and calmed down and then i ate i don't want to go to Mando tomorrow but at the same time i want to. mainly to just talk things out. to see how my weight is. but Im scared to tell my case manager when something like this happens. i don't want her thinking Im getting worse - i don't want anyone thinking. that. and at the same time. Im so worried that my weight will be down and then i have to spend more time at Mando??? i hate it. i don't want to go tomorrow:( i want my life to just be normal. i don't want things like this to happen. i just wish i had never gotten anorexia. :(

1 comment:

  1. Smile :)October 26, 2011 at 8:39 AM

    Hi :) Seems like it's been a while since we've talked? I guess things have been so busy lately.. :) So it sounds good with the new plan and all! Some sounds kind of like me a lot hehe.. like with the water drinking, i barely ever drink water, i really should drink more. And streching every day, I used to do that like a year ago but kind of stopped, and now i just recently started again like a week ago- i would love to take dance classes as well :) it's actually something that i want to do really badly. But of course that could never fit into my schedule with all the music things i'm doing, and anyway my mum would probably laugh or something if i asked because it's kind of unlike me... heheh :) When i'm an adult on my own someday, i won't have anyone to judge or control me about taking dance classes, maybe i'll do it then :) haha. planning into the future much? :)

    I actually have similar things happen like the panic attacks, when a plan is suddenly changed or something. I just kind of freak out and it takes a while to calm down, and just thinking all the bad things. But I hope things go well tomorrow at Mando!

    So things with me are going really badly at the moment (like usual haha.) So much going on right now, a ton of school work and music, every hour of my time is taken up. And then there's a lot of other stuff that's really bad, i don't really feel like talking about it in a comment though? like, really serious things. So i'm going to email you about that :)

    Hope your day goes well! :)

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