Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: [email protected]

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I love food!

And after a few weeks of trying to eat more & gain weight (not sure if i have or not? We dont have a scale at home). My apetite is finally back. From having to mentally & physically make myself eat more. Eat when i wasnt hungry, and eat like double portions... now my belly is crying out for food!! Like a bottomless pit...  Back to normal :) The girl with the bottomless pit for a stomach!!
  At times i am shocked at the amount i can eat.

Infact, my friends almost are shocked... haha. Sometimes when i look at other peoples plates i always wonder, how do you feel full? Like i am almost in shock. They eat so little? But for me... i go back for seconds. I always eat carbs (rice/pasta/beans/crisp bread/bread) protein (fish/vegetarian option.... or both ;) ) & salad/vegetables for both lunch and dinner. Though i do eat more for lunch than dinner, as im more hungry during the day.
 
But also, my snacks are HUGE. I mean, both my afternoon snack & night snack are usually big bowl of yoghurt mixed with quark, muslie, crisp bread, egg & now even 1 or 2 of my home made quest bars. (All of that for like 1 snack... and i eat that 2 times a day & 3 other big meals :) )


I have no idea whether ive gained weight or not... but i know for sure, that my metabolism is up and running, and my apetite is at 500% :) hahah
  Its both a nice & annoying feeling!

Something which ive also realised is.... Strength, is to be able to actually hold a normal conversation/act nice when your blood sugar is low and you are hangry (hungry & angry).
  When i came home from school, i was super hungry. My stomach was making noises, i had a headache and felt like i could & would eat the contents of the fridge.... but i somehow managed to hold a normal conversation & be nice talking to my mum, even though my head was poudning, and my stomach was gurgling!!
  That my friends is mental strength :) hahahah


^^ me when i get home from school

^^ me every time i see food


Otherwise... today has been a good day. Sort of. Apart from the fact that it has rained all day!! Not that it really matters when you spend all day in doors....
 
Hope you have all had a good day... or have a good day (if its morning where you are!) :)

2 comments:

  1. So can you write out what you ate today? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ive already forgotten what i ate yesterday... haha.
      But i will try writing more food diaries :)

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