I belong.

For so long....

Its felt like i havent belonged.

I havent wanted to live....  sure, somedays i want to die.  But thats when im tired, its never anything real.

But before, i was so certain i wanted to die, i even tried a few times.. but never succeeded.
   I never felt i belonged, i felt unloved, unwanted, forgotten about.

I hated Mando, i hated being at home, i didnt want to be at school.

I didnt know where i belonged, where i should be, so i had decided that i shouldnt be at all.


But Today, i feel i belong.
   I like being at home (Of course it gets boring somedays, and somedays i threaten to leave/run away. But thats mainly cus i get frustrated.)
Ok, i hate Mando, thats not going to change, but its not the worst place to be, maybe the second worse... Hahaha. But i mean, for now... im not there too often, so its ok to be there a few hours, now and again, sit there and read a book or whatever... at the end of the day though, i would prefer to sit and read somewhere else though!!! haha
Ok school... well the one im in at the moment, isnt a favourite, but i mean... maybe another school will be better... where i wont mind staying a bit later to study, or whatever...
   you know... where i wont mind going.
At the moment, i hate getting up for school... but its not the worst place.


I feel i have soemwhere to be.

I have my own personal space at home, which im taking to my advantage. - Closing the door, loud music and being on my own... which does seem very anti - social.  :D

Living, isnt the worst thing as it once seemed... :)

You jsut got to get through the rough bits to see the sunshine... :)