Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

You can't live a full life on an empty stomach

Yesterday evening i began thinking about how thankful i am that i am recovered and how different my life would be if i was still sick.

I know that if i was still struggling with an eating disorder my life would look very different, i dont know whether i would be studying or whether i would have been allowed to move away from home or even if i was allowed to work.

Sometimes i find it so strange to think back to my behaviour and thoughts when i was sick... how extremely scared i was of food and weight gain. I had so many restrictions and fears that held me back in life.... hated myself, hated life and hated everything, i was so negative back then. But thinking back to how i was when i was alone when i was sick vs how i am alone now, i am a whole different person. It doesnt even feel like it was me who was sick for those 5 years and did all the things i did and was so scared of eating.
I remember i would stand and watch my mum cook and panic when she began to add oil or butter to her food, and now i use oil and margarine without even thinking about it... it enhances taste when cooking and thats delicious!
But also all the different ways i had to minimize the amount of food i actually put inside of me, the different tricks and cheats and all the lies i would tell just to get away with not eating. It's crazy, one of our most basic needs - food - and it was one of my biggest fears.

From my own personal experience what i can say is that you can't live a full life on an empty stomach. I know some people feel more energetic when they don't eat and some are "functional sufferers" and think that they are healthy and fine. But once you fully recover and begin eating properly you wil, notice  a huge difference in energy, mindset and just motivation for life.

If you arent fueling yourself properly how do you expect to have the energy to live life? How do you expect to have the energy to take care of yourself, to do the basic daily routines, to go to work or school or to meet friends or do your hobbies?

Even now, on the days i dont eat enough i will feel exhausted and being social is the last thing i want to do and working or working out is far from my mind. But 98% of the time when i eat properly and enough calories i have energy for all the things i want to do in my life....  Of course resting and having alone time is also important but with the right fuel it means you have the energy to do all the things you want.

I often get asked how i have the energy to do all the things i do in my life and my answer is food. I eat enough. If i dont eat enough i dont do as much as i dont have the energy for it.

Dont be scared to eat. Dont be scared of food. It gives you the energy you need so that you can live the life you want and have the energy to reach your goals and to the things you want :)

Food is fuel!

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  1. Have you any tips of how to maintain your food intake in this hot weather? When its as hot as this my appetite just leaves me and I feel its just too hot to cook anyway.

    1. My suggestion is to eat lots of cold food such as cold pasta salad or cold potatoe salad. Or make smoothies with nut butter, oats, full fat yoghurt etc so that the smoothie is maybe 600kcal and you can have that instead of lunch if you feel it's too warm to eat actual food. Or just eat more in the evenings... that's what I usually do in summer i.e eating like 50-60% of my intake in the evenings:) otherwise just regular snacks throughout the day such as handful of nuts and dried fruit etc etc or even banana ice cream with toppings!!!

  2. Thanks Izzy. The smoothie suggestion sounds really good - I never thought to make those but will certainly do so now. And eating later than usual is definitely a plan although I will admit that it will be hard for me to do so because I am used to eating at a certain time. But that it what recovery is all about I guess, changing patterns of behaviour and trying new things - so this will be this weeks "challenge" for me!
    Thanks again for your reply xxx

  3. I' so happy for you and your recovery! i need help writing my research paper on eating disorders and your story is a great inspiration. You are a really brave girl!