Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, June 5, 2017

How depression changed me

Hello Izzy,
As someone who has suffered and overcome depression have you found/realised that you are a "different" person than who you were before your depression? I ask because since I went through my depression I have found that I like and enjoy many new things. I feel I am more "in tune" with my feelings and actually know what I like and dislike and what makes me feel happy. I have discovered new interests, new hobbies, begun to read new books that interest me and new authors, discovered I like different music to what I used to listen too and are not scared to actually say what I like and dislike.I This has opened up a whole new world to me and sometimes I feel like a new person, that the old me has disappeared. As someone who has also gone through depression and also a lot of other big changes in their life do you think it has made changes in you also? I would be interested to hear what your opinions are and also whether any other readers have gone through a similar thing/process?
Hello, and thank you for your comment!

I can say that I relate very much and went through the same thing. That depression sort of changed me in some ways... I came out on the other side stronger and slightly more in tune with myself and with different thoughts about different things.

I don't think it's so strange though, depression is a serious illness and effects you in so many ways abs to truly recover you need to find yourself and what makes you happy and life worth living, and those things can change after depression. I.e what once made you happy no longer makes you happy or you realise that some things were just fake happiness... but also you learn to take space and make your thoughts and demands heard more than before (hopefully)!

I've changed since going through depression.... but whether it was depression or just overall life style changes (which I guess was due to the fact that I was trying to recover from depression) I don't know. It could just be that I'm older as well

After my depression I realized that I may be an introvert but I do need to spend time with friends and I enjoy it alot more than I think.  That I'm more social than I once believed I was... before I really didn't think I needed to, or even wanted to meet friends.  Now I'd like to meet friends atleast once a week or preferably more. I am social and I so enjoy talking to people.
Also realized that I don't mind parties however I still dislike large gatherings,maybe even more than before. I avoid going places where there will be alot of people. But I'm also ok with getting to know more people.. . I've started being more confident and being more social and the one to start a conversation. Before I would hide and be silent as much as possible but now I feel alot more open, even if I'm still not as confident or outgoing as I'd wish!

I realize I do need to talk to my parents and family. Some weeks more than  others. I think this has more to do with the distance though but before and during depression I isolated myself from my family alot but now I enjoy our weekly talks on the phone and know that I need them as well!!!
I'm ok with admitting I'm not ok. I don't always have to lie or hide the truth.. .. It's ok for me to admit I've had a bad day or am struggling for a few days. I'm still learning to not feel guilty or embarrassed when I do admit to my bad days (to my family, I'm ok doing it online!).

I've learnt to make my voice heard. Maybe not as much as I'd like, but learning to be ok with taking up space. I don't need to silence myself or apologize for my presence.... I used to apologize for everything all the time. I no longer do that.
My opinions and thoughts about different things also changed such as  I went vegan when I was depressed and that was something I had thought about but never been so convinced about... I rather eat my chicken and hide from the truth. But then I did research and I just knew I couldn't be part of that industry, but also because of my own dark thoughts about death it felt weird to be "taking the lives of animals" by eating animal products.

Also found more balance in different areas of my life after my depression. Prioritized different things in my life more than before.

I like who I am now alot better, I feel like because of going through that serious depression and for quite a long time, it did change me. It made me stronger and more confident but also to not take life for granted. To enjoy the small things and see the positives in life.  Not complain about life but instead try to change my thoughts and know that things will work out. I'm more ok with being "me" and i think with age and with every experience i go through it will change me in some way! 

What once made you happy might not always make you happy and what once were your goals and dreams might change over time as you change thoughts or go through different experiences :)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Coz many of people don't know how to deal with the depression, I personally share you post with some of my friends who are suffering from depression and thanks to you after reading your post they feel much better now. I must say that you are "Ray of HOPE" for people who are suffering from the depression.

    Karren - e-counseling