Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

7 things i wish people knew about mental illness

7 Things I Wish People Knew About Mental Illness:

I found this pin from HERE and i loved it. Mentall illness is still very taboo unfortunatly. Each day i worry that a boss or a future partner or even my friends or future friends will stumble across my blog and i will be judged. I worry that people will judge me because i suffer from anxiety or judge me because in the past i suffered from an eating disorder and depression. I know nobody on my blog judges me, most of you think i am strong and i believe i am strong as well. I dont let my mental, or physical illness stop me in life however people are quick. .Last year when i suffered alot with my depression i still went to work everyday, i still smiled and did my work as efficiently as possible and didnt let anxiety or tiredness stop me and work actually helped me recover from my depression. It made me feel good about myself, it made me feel accomplished, i did something everyday and i enjoyed it. It made me get out of bed, change my routines and earn my own money which i loved/love. And my work now gives me the exact same feeling, but of course love work even more because i no longer suffer from depression so tiredness isnt a factor.

People are very quick to judge someone with a mental illness thinking they are lazy or incapable and for some... maybe that is the case. For some when they suffer from a mental illness they cant work or go to school, they cant be relied on as you never know if they actually get out of bed or not, and thats ok as well.... mental illness is tough, but everyone suffers differently. Some people can push past the anxiety, tiredness, lifelessness, others cant. But i think everyone should be given an equal chance in life/at opportunities but that isnt the case.

In the future i hope that mental illness is made less taboo, because so many people suffer, trust me just in your school class there can be far more people who suffer from some form of mental illness than you are aware of. There are some people  who will gladly tell you that they are depressed, have bipolar or suffer from anxiety attacks and others - like myself - keep it as hidden as possible and not tell others about my struggles. So you arent alone if you suffer and it really shouldnt be such a "dirty" or taboo thing when so many people suffer and it doesnt get better when you have to hide it or be ashamed, that just makes it worse and harder to recover.


Do you have anything you wish people knew about your/having a mental illness?

13 comments:

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  2. Not related but I really really need help with coping with the trauma of having recovered. Not so much the fact of having an eating disorder and now being better, but the hospital and the the appointments. I just want to forget that I was ever in hospital. It was the worst time of my life and I feel horrible and dirty and mortified when I think of the things my family saw like me in a wheelchair and those ghastly appointments like I hate that they might still see me in that way. I felt like a stupid animal being forced to the vets or something. I cannot describe how much I hated one of the nurses I was assigned just the thought of his disgusting patronising voice ruins my day. I just feel these horrible memories of last summer RUIN MY LIFE FOREVER. I try to not think about it and then when I do it's horrible like even the things that were the better parts of the time now make me feel really really upset. I just cannot explain it does anyone understand?????? I just wish that everyone would forget that ever happened
    I don't want these memories they make my life miserable like I can be doing alright and then I'm suddenly back on that ward and I hate it I feel like a freak and it impacts socially too
    And just I'm really upset that this will be ruining my life forever

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    1. ^thank you so much for posting this (to the anon above, writing about hospital). This is the kind of thing that makes me really ponder things ... I too struggled for a long, long time with getting over the experience of the medical service - with "trauma" as you say. I am actually better now, but it took a long time and some wonderful people. I sometimes wonder if there is a way I can use my voice publicly to help people struggling with such experiences. I still do not really know what best to do, but I am really grateful for your email, which makes the need so vivid. Please don't feel alone. And, it need not be forever. Take care, and thank you for writing.

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  3. Yes - that the real "you" is still there, somewhere, even if its buried by the effects of depression and/or anxiety. That somewhere that "you" still exists and has needs and wants the same as any other person - being depressed/having a mental illness doesn't make that person any less worthwhile or turns them into a second rate person. You still have thoughts and feelings, its just that they are harder to surface and may be numbed at the moment, but they are there.

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  4. Recently here in the UK Prince William and Prince Harry spoke out about their mental health issues in the hope that it would go some way to easing the stigma of mental illness. Apparently following the death of their mother Princess Diana they both had counselling to help them deal with it. They have spoken out now to try to get people to understand that mental illness can indeed effect anyone, even those in a privaliged position in life. They are trying to create an awareness and something that others can relate to - which I think can only be a good thing. They are also founding/supporting a charity that helps people with mental illness and they took part in a tv documentary about it. I think this "heads up" is a good thing as, like they said, if just only one person comes forward and seeks help for their mental health issues as a result of the Princes speaking out they will have done some good to getting the message across that mental health effects anyone, and it is not something that should be stigmatised or looked down upon.

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  5. I wish people knew how to act when you are recovered and stop referring to your mental illness in a bad way. My dad up till now tells me that I was insane and messed up back then, and it rather hurts. I think people should appreciate mental illnesses for shaping ones character and making them stronger in a way or another.

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    1. Yeah just because I'm recovered now doesn't mean I look down on the person I was when I was eating disorderly, because I'm still the same person.

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    2. I agree that having a mental illness partially makes you who you are because you had to overcome that challenge, you are more empathetic towards others who face similar challenges as well.

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    3. Exactly that! I mean, I'm kind of grateful that I had the disorder because I think I learned how to cope with negativity and to reach a better mind/body relationship. Yes, there are some days when you believe that the disorder wrecked your life but overall, it kind of made us different in a way or another.

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  6. Also I wanted to ask. I have OCD along with the ED that I'm recovering from and I feel like they are becoming intertwined. Like one thing that would be fine for the leftover ED voice is not fine for my OCD and vice versa, and if I don't follow either voice with something it is very very scary. I also find that whenever I do a challenge or do something somewhat scary I get very upset and end up either crying, lashing out, or skipping something later to make up for it. How do you guys cope after a challenge.

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    1. Umm, I usually have very bad fears before the challenge because I am a bit anxious but then I try my best to act myself when I'm doing the challenge (to me, it's speaking up for myself or demand my rights). I try to journal everything and affirm myself that I will be okay, because everything turns out to be good when you take things lightly and stress-free. Your OCD might be irrational at times, but listen to those voices and write them down, then face your challenge bravely and you'll find out that things are not always as bad. :)

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  7. Great post! I have been reading this blog for a long time (I have had an 11 year struggle with becoming fully recovered from ED, though I am mostly recovered these days, just some residual issues to work through). This post is so very true. I have also had bipolar since I was 18 and I find it so difficult to tell people because I've learnt over the years that in the "normal" world people just don't understand it. Unfortunately, mania is actually really hard to hide because I'm never actually aware that I'm ill, and I have lost many people over the years from things I've done while manic, most of which I have shaky memory of doing). What I wish that people knew is that we are not generally dangerous. There is so much in the media about mentally ill people committing various violent crimes and it's the absolute minority that do this. And even then, if there was strong support and understanding around them from the beginning, maybe they wouldn't have got to the point of committing crimes. I don't tell anyone about my illness unless it's completely and unavoidably necessary. I've had people say "but you seem so normal." I am normal! I have episodes of madness but I'm not constantly ill. I told an ex after we had been together for a while, he immediately told his friends (insert reinforced trust issue here) who advised him to be careful of me. I had my hours cut down from work and never regained because I had to take time off for my illness, I've treated like I'm really stupid and spoken to very slowly like I can't understand basic speech just because I have a mental illness. Sometimes people don't believe my experiences because I have an illness and think everything I've ever experienced has been some kind of hallucination or delusion. It's very dehumanising. I wish people would see that we are just like everyone else. We are just people and we can't help it. Medication isn't a cure, that's another thing I wish they knew. Being told to "take your meds" because you're unwell but haven't actually stopped taking them is patronising and places too much emphasis on the effectiveness of medications. I could go on forever. I think to sum up my rant, I wish people knew what it was like to have a mental illness, every aspect of it.

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  8. I just wanted to say to the above "anonymous" that whilst I was ill with my depression I attended a day unit where I met my dearest friend to this day - and she has Bi-polar. Far from allowing it to influence/change our friendship we just ride with it and often look back at her manic episodes with a smile rather than a frown. Her manic episodes are an exception occurance, it does not define her. What defines her is a strong and courageous woman fighting a mental illness whilst living in a society where the majority do not understand her.
    I hope that you will meet more understanding people one day soon. Take care xxx

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