Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Listening to your body - its not always easy

Hello and goof afternoon everyone :)

Listening to your body - its not always easy and im not perfect, at times i dont listen to my bodies signals. Today was one of those days.

Last night i couldnt sleep at all and the hours ticked by until it was past 2am and i was still mentally wide awake, but sometime i fell asleep and knew very well that i wouldnt be going to my 8am lecture. Safe to say i woke up at 8am with roughly 5 hours sleep and i felt ok.... not super energetic or positive, instead i just felt strange. I couldnt decide what i wanted to do, whether i should go into school for my 10am lecture or just study at home (where i would most likely learn more). The only reason i thought about going to school was to see my friends before the easter break..... But eventually after drinking some coffee i decided to head to the gym and see how i felt after that.

My body felt tired, but my mind said yes 60% and 40% no. But i got myself to the gym, drank some coffein and waited for it to kick in.... and the energy lasted about 15 minutes before every part of my body ached and was tired and slow and 99% of my mind said "go home, this workout wont give you anything positive if you try to push through it". So thats exactly what i did... i tried working out, but i just didnt want to today and my body was sore and tired, for some unexplainable reason. Working out should never feel like a "must" for me, it shouldnt  be something i force myself to do and it definitely shouldnt be something that drains me of more energy than it gives me, and today was one of those days where it took more energy than it would give me.

So instead i took the bus home - when usually i walk as its only 15-20 minutes, but i couldnt even manage that walk home as i felt so tired.

And then the hunger kicked in.... i hadnt felt so hungry in the morning which i think was one of the reasons i felt so tired at the gym as i hadnt eaten properly beforehand. So to make up for that i ate plenty for lunch -> Red lentil and sweet potatoe chilli, 2 mini sweet potatoes, half an avocado, 1 whole medium baguette with vegan cheese and butter & afterwards a few handfuls of peanuts and 1,5 bananas... yup, within 90 minutes thats what i had eaten and that was exactly what i needed. My body needed plenty of food as for some reason i am feeling extra tired and slow today.

After that i was able to study for 4 hours before i then packed my bag for travelling tomorrow as well as hoovered the whole house, began doing laundry, did all the dishes and after that it was time for a snack and a nap. Lunch sure gave me alot of energy, but needed an afternoon nap nonetheless, and still feeling tired after waking up again.

Today was one of those days where i didnt really listen to my body to start off with ,but for the rest of the day i have. Listened to my signals and thats exactly what balance and health is for me... being able to respect the signals my body gives me.

Somedays i can go for 2 walks and the gym and other days i cant even manage a 15 minute walk or a normal gym session. Somedays i eat 4 meals and other days i need 8 meals. Somedays i need 2 or 3 portions before i am filled up, and somedays i have energy from 8am until 10pm and other days i need an afternoon nap to keep me going. Its different from day to day, but learning to understand those signals and listen to them will help with balance.

Dont worry about having a short workout or no workout at all. Dont worry about eating more some days or taking afternoon naps or just doing nothing a whole day because that is what your body needs. Instead learn to treat your body right - it will give you so much more peace and health if you can begin to trust your body rather than go against it!!

So for now, i am going to eat night snack, wash my hair and then watch a series before hopefImage result for listen to your bodyully falling asleep before 10pm and tomorrow it will be a very long day!!


  1. Do you skip classes for working out?

    1. At the moment the lectures are just repeat of what i did last year so i dont find them so important to go to, also the teacher just says exactly what it is written on the powerpoint, so i mostly go to the lectures to meet friends or because i am going to study in school :) But if its important lectures/something new, of course i wouldnt skip them but at the moment i study better at home/on my own so i sort of choose whether to go to the lectures or not based on how i feel hahah.

  2. Whilst I used to find the lectures useful when I was at college I much preferred to study at home. I used to find I got more done and it was usually the case that I would learn more as I was able to study a subject my way, instead of having to write a whole load of notes on what the lecturer was talking about and then trying to make sense of them. I always found I had to do further reading on the subject of the lecture too whilst if I studied independently I could go as deep into it as I wanted - so for me lectures were often more work!