This post is a thought/ramble post and a reminder for myself... something i felt i needed to write out.
Two days i was talking with my room mate and she began saying how stressed she was with school and the work she had to do. I agreed and began saying how stressed i was as well and began saying all the different assignments and group works and due dates i had and how stressful school was for me as well. We both then sat in silence for a while - agreeing that school was stressful. However i then began to feel a little guilty and silly because i realised that i should have just let her talk about her stress and how stressed she felt without me having to talk my own stress and my own deadlines. I could have just let her had her moment to rant and just been like "yeah school is stressful" without having to add my own problems to it, as if saying... "my stress is worse than yours".
But also a while ago i was talking to my sister on the phone and she began talking about how she felt anxiety with her deadlines and school work and other things in her life. Then i began talking about my own anxiety and how i had had a panic attack that day and how awful anxiety was etc etc And then when the call ended i began feeling guilty because i should have just let my sister have her moment to complain and rant without me saying "yeah i also had anxiety today and i had a panic attack" (as if saying... my anxiety is worse than yours.).
I never used to be like this... if someone talked about being anxious or stressed i would never go into my own problems, i would just say "yeah me too" or leave it at that. But as I've been opening up more about my own problems I guess I feel ok with sharing them, but at times it can feel like it becomes an unconscious competition as if saying "I have it worse" even if that's not what I mean. I think it's just me ovwranalysing and feeling guilt over nothing.
But when it comes to illnesses and in recovery it can often be like this... a sort of competition between people. Life is not a competition i.e stress, pain, feelings it's all subjective. What stresses some people motivates others... just like with pain, some people cry when they get blood tests, others can handle alot more or get tattoos and feel moderate or little discomfort. It's all subjective and you can't compare stress but it also isn't a competition.
This is a reminder for myself, that if others say they are stressed I don't need to mention I'm stressed as well, and the same with anxiety. Let people rant and complain without mentioning my own problems, the focus on me.
This isn't an everyday thing, it's just something I noticed and got angry at myself for. Hahha. It's most probably silly......
What are your thoughts about This? I just feel confused haha.