Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, April 9, 2017

Its easier to say you want change than it is to make a change

*repost 2015* 

Yesterday was a day where i just had enough.... i didnt want to feel this way anymore. I didnt want these thoughts in my head.... the moment where you just know you need to seek help to get better. Where you know that you can not continue in the same path that you will just be on a standstill with the same emotions and the same feelings, or you will spiral downwards, and i want neither of those.

Then i began thinking.... how many times in my life have i said, "I want things to change, i am going to change things". It is easy to think or say that, especially when you reach a point where you have had enough, or you do something you regret or leaves you with lots of anxiety and fear, then its easy to think... im going to change. Tomorrow is going to be a new day and everything will be different. But then it isn't different, you still end up doing the same things... or maybe you last half a day or a day, or even a few days, but you end up ging back to the same old thing and once again you end up repeating "things are going to change"... but things never do and it becomes a constant repetition.

The important thing to remember with change and recovering from mental illnesses is that it doesnt all happen at once. And things dont always go perfectly... you might slip up, make a mistake, take a step backwards, but you need to remind yoursel to not just break apart and think "ive already ruined things might as well ruin them more". For example, if you drop your phone you dont suddenly stamp on it and break it completely just because you dropped it. So for those of you who have black and white thinking and have thoughts such as "i ate a piece of chocolate... now ive ruined it and might as well eat everything" or think " i've eaten a piece of chocolate, now i wont eat for 3 days"... that is black and white thinking, and breaking the phone when all you did was drop it. Instead think, you havent ruined anything and it is not black or white. Before you might have used behaviours such as the above, but now you need to remember that you wanted change and that means not resorting to old or bad behaviours... but instead doing something different, so things change.

It is small steps all the time and realise that all those steps forward will lead to the final goal. Not everyday is awesome, not everyday is easy but it does get better. You need to actually make the change as well, know that it will be tough but it will be worth it.

And this goes for me... i think that "I want change" i want things to be different, i can't keep feeling this way... but all ive done to change things is to look online for therapists... and then not even call anyone, not even talk to someone..... that is doing nothing to change the situation. I cant keep thinking i want change and then not change anything, i know what i need to do, but it means also doing it.


So these were my thoughts yesterday... and i hope they are a reminder to some of you, that it is not enough to think or say that you want change. You wont break free from the destructive mindset and destructive thoughts unless you do something about it and actually make some form of small change everyday!!!

2 comments:

  1. I tend to think about change without making any actual inroads into doing it probably far too often - but you know, you are so right- its no good thinking about, you have to do it too!
    Change is scary to start with but when your efforts pay off for the better there is no feeling quite like it!

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    Replies
    1. It is definitely scary, but often worth it. Especially if you are stuck in something negative that needs to change.

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