Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Train ride home and food poisioning

Hello,

And i apologize for my absence on here and in the comment section recently. During the weekend there was focus on spending time with my sister and my dog and just resting up so i didnt have much time or motivation/creativity to write anything on here.

I had thought that this new week would be great - back to school and structure again and get my whole day/class presentation done, however the week didnt start off the way i had thought.


**TRIGGER WARNING - GETTING SICK**


Before i got the 4 hour train back home again, i stopped in the shop and bought a "make your own" salad. A standard and easy lunch/dinner on the go and i have never thought twice about it, only once i got a little repulsed over it when i found a prawn in my avocado mix when i was about to eat...  so then it took a few weeks until i dared buy another one of those salads. But otherwise its been pretty safe for me to eat as well as delicious. On sunday that wasnt the case..... about 2 hours into the ride i began to feel extremely awful. My stomach hurt, i felt nauseous and like i would throw up and i began to feel both cold and warm and just strange.... the 4 hour train ride turned into an almost 5 hour train ride and all i could think was "i want to drink water but if i do im pretty sure it will come back up again" as well as "i just want to lie in a bed.". Eventually i got home at 11pm and the first thing that happened was that i threw up - the food just did not want to stay in my stomach. And then the next few hours i shivered and shaked and every muscle and bone hurt and i felt nauseous and the stomach pain was awful. A total of 2 hours of sleep due to how awful i felt.

Waking up at 6am was the worst feeling and all i wanted to do was to refuse to go to school, i had no energy, i hurt everywhere and my stomach was still sore. But as i had my obligatory group presentation work and i didnt want to do a "compensation" assignment where i would have to do all the work again - as well as one of the girls in the group wasnt able to make it today and i thought it would be very unfair to also not show up and add extra stress and pressure on them. So i basically put on my clothes, somehow packed my bag and lay in bed until the very last second until i had to get my bus. Those 8 hours of holding a cooking class i somehow managed it with a whole lot of painkillers and no food or water due to the nausea, but somehow i made it and i DONT RECOMMEND IT. If you were smart - and in my case i wasnt - you would not go to school when you are dealing with food posioning. Priortize health and rest first... i was not that smart and should have done that instead.

When i got home from school i fell asleep instantly and woke around 8pm and was awake for 45 minutes until i fell asleep right until 7am this morning. Still felt nauseous and the stomach pain was awful, but i atleast managed to eat a banana before making my way to school for an obligatory lesson (and once again... i shouldnt have gone. I felt so awful sitting there and felt like i would fall off the chair as i felt so faint and "out of it".) But the 2 hours passed slowly and then i headed to the CF clinic to talk to a doctor before finally it was home time and rest again and managed to eat some soup anyway.

I am finally now starting to feel a bit better, but still far from my optimal health. I have 0 energy, the thought of food makes my stomach churn, exercise is far off from my rader of thoughts, study motivation is 0 and ill get back to that once i feel better again. All i can say is that food posioning sucks.... its not the first time ive had it in my life. Infact ive gotten food poisioning from chicken twice and rice once and now this time. Also the first time i got food posioning from chicken was the first time i began to purge, the first 2 days was due to food poisioning but then 1-2 weeks later i was still purging but not for the same reason. All i can think now is why would i willingly suffer through that.... how awful it is to purge. Crazy to think that i could purge 4-10 times a day at periods of my illness....  all i can say is that i am thankful that i am rid of that behaviour. If you do want me to write a post about purging - how to stop etc just let me know.  Its definitely a habit you need to and should get rid of if you struggle with it.

Anyway, this post became alot longer than i had planned. But now you know why i have been so distant on here and it will most likely take 1-2 more days until i am back and posting/replying more frequently as i just dont have the energy right now... both mind and body are so extremely drained of energy.

And now you know.... yes vegans can end up with food posioning :( haha

3 comments:

  1. I hope you're feeling better now, food poisoning is the worst thing in the world!!

    I would love some advice on stopping purging. I consider myself recovered from anorexia however purging is something I just cannot stop. I think it's liked to anxiety also, but I only purge when I see my family - I asked for help from an eating disorder service for a very short amount of time because it's been going on for years now and I'm worried it'll give me health problems. They have helped a lot but I still can't control it when I go to visit my family, and I just don't know why. Any tips?

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  2. Sorry your weekend away ended so badly. Getting food poisoning is awful and I wish you a speedy recovery:) Keep your fluids up even if you find you cannot eat, I find drinking ordinary (not diet) lemonade the best for nausea. It can take awhile for you to get over food poisoning so make sure you rest and give uni a miss if you are feeling rough- time spent resting will be far more beneficial to you right now.
    Take care, look after yourself and get well soon!

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  3. Get well Izzy!:) best wishes for you, and dont force school work:) Sunday I was also sick, though I hwd fever due to some virus, and I woke up at night at the feeling of being nauseaus, then Ihad to throw up two times, and it sucked like hell... the following day I was in bed all the time, and it was a torture to eat even a piece of fruit for swallowing some medicine, ugh... But looking at the positives: the good thong in illnesses is when you finally recover and feel the huge difference:) get well:)

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