Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Struggling with anxiety

I apologize for the lack of update today, but today has been a very tough day mentally.

I've felt overwhelmed with anxiety and the type of anxiety that leads to physical pain and discomfort. Where my stomach turns into a knot, i lose my appetite, i get a headache, feel tired and unmotivated and just this uncomfortable and heavy feeling. Anxiety weighing heavy on my shoulders - and not even sure what the anxiety stems from. And then this evening the anxiety turned into sadness.... wanting to cry for no apparent reason (and no, its not hormones. Does anyone else hate when people try to belittle your feelings or emotions by saying "its just your hormones"... whether its hormones or not doesnt matter) and just longing to spend time with my family and my dog again. Feeling lonely and sad and anxious... thats how my day has been spent. And i more than ever just want to sleep and want this day to be over, but as ive slept away most of the day i'll most likely be up half the night with the anxious feelings and sadness.

I am not writing this for attention - and also I KNOW that within 24-48 hours i'll most probably feel better. But i am writing this mostly to show that yes, i do struggle with anxiety. Yes i do have bad days and sometimes life is tough even if life is amazing 99% of the time. There are days and periods in life where it just feels tough. But also that unfortunatly life isnt always amazing despite recovering from an eating disorder.... but most importantly, to show the truth and to be honest. No one is happy 24/7. People have bad days... and i am not ashamed to admitting that i have bad days and days where i can barely get out of bed. And times when i just try to sleep through the anxiety or sit and just stare at a wall, trying to sort of my thoughts and feelings and emotions. Not everyday is easy, but i know that life is worth it.

It scares me in a way to post these types of posts as i am worried that potential managers might find my blog and read a post like this and then think that i am not a good job candidate because of anxiety. But that is not the case, despite feeling this way i still get up and do what i have to. Fight through the anxiety to do what needs to be done. But i dont want to deny how i feel either or just put on a smile and pretend that today has been easy, because it hasnt... i have felt awful, i have felt tired and sad and anxious... and just wanted these feelings to go away. And i know they will....

Writing helps me to deal with these feelings, which is why i write on here. But also to share and be honest on here, i think that is very important. Transparency and honesty and not being ashamed of the bad days.

Just like i share the good times in my life i also share the bad times.

Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day... and i hope that you have all had a good day or atleast manage to make tomorrow a better day!!!

Depression: You don't know why you're exhausted? You're fighting a war inside your head every single day. If that's not exhausting I don't know what is.
Supporting a Loved One Through PTSD or Panic Attacks .....Helpful tips for the supporters to handle every PTSD or anxiety episode........... Safety Anchoring, Touch (Use with extreme caution!), recuperating, talk and plan ahead.....Learn more......:

4 comments:

  1. Awe!!! That last picture is really cute and heartwarming. I understand completely what you're saying, especially with the hormone thing. I always feel like I have to clarify that no, I can feel upset when I'm not on my period or whatever. Anyway, I hope you have a better day tomorrow :)

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  2. I hope you feel better soon :) I hate days when I have loads of anxiety, sadness and panic it's just so horrible and the only thing you can really do is to try and distract yourself and wait it out.

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  3. I hope today is a better day! I don't think you need to worry about putting up posts about worrying ;-) Honestly, x.

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  4. I have bad days too, where the world and life in general just feels so awful and sad and I wonder what the point is and how I can possibly keep going. But like you say, these feelings do pass and then the world and life is a brighter, happier place again. There doesn't have to be areason for these feelings, they are emotions and I we just feel them. Hang on to your thoughts that you know the feeling of sadness and anxiety will pass, that's the only thing you can do when this feeling strikes.
    I think you cope admirably well and have a strong knowledge and understanding of what you are feeling and how to deal with it. I sincerely hope that you are having a better day today?
    Take care and be kind to yourself. Are you planning to see your family over the Easter break?

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