Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Random thoughts I've had

Trying to break free from my anxiety and negative and sad feelings and instead sharing some of my other random thoughts ive had over the past few days!! Feel free to share some of your random thoughts - about anything - which you've had recently!

Would I date someone who had a peanut allergy?
Recently i began thinking... would i date someone who had a peanut allergy? First off the chances of that actually happening are very slim as i eat peanuts daily so the person would most likely have an allergic reaction before getting 10m close to me, hahah. And i dont think i would be willing to give up my peanut butter or peanuts for someone... but who knows!

Would i date someone who isnt vegan?
I am very mixed about this. As long as the person isnt a eat meat and dairy 3 times a day 7 days a week type of person and is atleast accepting of my lifestyle then i would give it a chance. But so far i have not met any guys who are extreme meat eaters who are ok with a someone being a vegan, instead they have 101 arguments as to why they need meat to survive and why being vegan is wrong. But if the person is vegetarian there is more of a chance that our lifestyles and thoughts would match... i mean its not just my diet. But its my beliefs as well - just like with politics, it can be hard to be together with someone who has the complete opposite political views as you do. So its not so much whether we eat the same thing or not, but i personally dont think having a relationship with someone who doesnt understand or want to understand my lifestyle or beliefs would work long term.

Do i miss any non vegan foods?
No i dont... which in a way i find so strange. I find it strange that i dont miss quark or eggs or chicken. Those were HUGE parts of my diet a year ago, not to mention all the marabou as well as Ben and Jerrys... but i dont miss any of them at all. Its strange, but also nice... because i dont know if i could be vegan if i missed those foods as then i would just feel restricted and unhappy. But i know that there are options and alternatives for all animal products so i can eat those options instead for example if i crave chocolate, cookies, ice cream etc Though i am also lucky that i live in Sweden where there is such a huge variety and range of vegan foods!
 Also i have realised how thankful i am that Cola Zero, Celsius and Monster energy drink are vegan.... i sometimes question if i would give up Cola Zero if it wasnt vegan....

Would i ever eat meat again/would i eat the new lab grown meat? Would i eat insects?
Would i eat just meat or eggs again... no. It doesnt appeal to me in any way and not something i miss or feel i need to eat.
Would i eat the new lab grown meat? I dont think so... ive gotten over the texture/smell/taste of actual meat and the last time i ate red meat was in 2011 (?) when i had to eat it at Mando. Otherwise it was just fish and chicken i ate... but i dont feel i need to eat those even if they are lab grown and no harm to animals is done. I.e they are ethically ok to eat... but who knows... if it was an option at a restaurant and it was lab grown i.e no harm to animals, and i was craving that meal then i would order it. The thing that stops me from eating meat or dairy is the ethical problems and not because i think its unhealthy, but also i dont crave it which makes it rather easy to not want to eat it as well.

And would i eat insects.... most likely not. Insects are still "Beings" and farming insects to be eaten also seems wrong.... but from an environmental aspect insects are better to eat than cows or pigs or chickens etc But this is a huge topic with so many different views and opinions and would crave a huge long post which i dont feel like doing.

Will I refill my tattoos once they begin to fade?
My first tattoo which i did 5 years ago is beginning to fade slightly so i began to wonder whether i should have it refilled again. Or whether i will refill my 4 other ones in the future.... its hard to say. They are slightly faded, but not grey..... once they start to turn grey or a little "green" then i might refill them. Or when my dream catcher tattoo begins to lose its colour then i might refill it.... but for now the focus is just on getting more tattoos and not so much filling in the older ones (which i.e will take a few years until that is actually something to think about!)

Spirulina gives me SO MUCH energy. Its actually a much better energy boost than coffee or energy drinks. My body is so used to caffeine that it has no effect on me... but if i take 1-2 tbs of spirulina it gives me so much new energy, so perfect in the afternoons! Not to mention it has so many vitamins and minerals which is great as well!

I love how my room mates dont question my tea and coffee consumption. I can drink 2 cups of coffee in the morning and sometimes 2 cups in the middle of the day if im at home and studying and then 2-3 cups of tea in the evening.... they have yet to say anything, but i am sure they have their thoughts or concerns haha.
I sometimes wonder if they think i am rude or anti social that i like to spend alot of time in my room. Recently i have felt so tired and have had alot of school work or been sick, so i havent been so social and i feel a little ashamed as i dont want them to think i am rude. But at the same time when i am at home i am either studying, blogging or napping. And im social and talk with them when im out making food and such, but i guess i just wish i was the type of person who liked to keep my door open or always made conversation.... its hard to explain and i dont really know how they feel or think either and i dont want to bring it up unnecessarily. But i might do.... just to know how they think so that im not worrying unnecessarily - or if they do think i am anti social and a little too isolated. Who knows... but random thoughts ive had anyway.

Anyway.... those were just some thoughts i felt like sharing for no real reason than trying to think of other things than school work and anxiety XD


  1. The argument for lab-grown meat is always interesting. Personally, I wouldn't eat it unless I had to (if someone had gone to the trouble to bake a lab-meat lasagna when I'm their guest, etc). I've given up meat. I've given up the texture and taste (as I think you said) and I don't feel like I need it anymore. That said, I'm not against lab-grown meat. I'd much prefer that eat-meaters ate that instead, as it'd be so much better for both animals and the environment. But I think that if marketed at serious vegans, the lab-meat won't actually sell that well. Because for most of us, it's not just a 'physical' thing but a moral thing too- we don't want meat in any form.

  2. I always love readding your blog and enjoy it 💞 your random thoughts are very interesting. I have so many thoughts lately I feel like I'm in a cyclone haha 😂
    Yours' were fun to read and calming too

  3. I have actually about the peanut one before and same I don't think I could give up nuts for anyone because I love having some type of nut every day haha

  4. I've been vegetarian all my life and now as well as all the normal ethical reasons people decide to become vegetarian or vegan it also just seems really gross to eat any animal lab grown or whatever tbh - but I suppose other people who are used to it wouldn't think so.
    I don't think I'd only limit myself to vegetarian guys as dates but like you said they'd have to be understanding at least!

  5. Has anyone tried hemp milk or rice milk? what is it like and can it be used in hot drinks?

    1. I havent tried either of those milk forms so unfortuantly i dont know, but i am guessing that rice milk should work well to heat up. However i dont know how well they will work in coffee or tea and i think they might "split/not mix well" with the hot beverage. But its alot of trial and error, and also if the mylk is in room temperature it can work better with hot beverages :)

    2. Thanks for this. I`m trying to find an alternative milk that tastes ok and works in tea and coffee. I tried almond milk and that worked great, but unfortunately gave me excessive wind so had to give up on that one!
      But like you said, its trial and error!

  6. On the news this morning the government have announced they intend to cut our sugar intake by 40% by next year - by reducing the size of chocolate bars and changing the recipes for many foods and drinks. I got to wondering if they can make these foods with less sugar - apparently 10 years ago the salt level in bread was 40% higher than it is now but it has been reduced without anyone really noticing - why didn`t they do it in the first place? It would have solved a lot of problems if they had. I mean who really needs super sweet cereal? If it wasn't ever available we wouldn't crave it or miss it. And as for upping the price of normal non diet fizzy drinks such as coca cola, why make it in the first place if they are saying its so bad for you? increasing the price won`t make people stop buying it! All this is to try to stem the increase of childhood obesity, rotten teeth in children and a rise in diabetes. But what should be happening is an education in healthy eating, something children don`t always get any more - home economics classes have been virtually all phased out in schools so unless the parents bother to teach thir children how to cook, they grow up not knowing the basics of putting a healthy meal together themselves and obviously turn to convienience foods and fast foods. What the Government should be doing is educating people, not slapping price increases on things. Of course reducing the amount of sugar in foods will go a long way to helping the problems that have arisen but I definitely feel this is a case of shutting the stable after the horse has bolted. Its like saying you can now carry on eating unhealthfully because theres less sugar in foods now so it doesn't matter. What needs to change is the behaviour that gave us the problems in the first place!
    That's my random thought for the day!

    1. Oh yes.. this is a very huge topic with ALOT of debate and opinions. The companies that sell those products just want to earn money... i mean why is alcohol and cigarettes and tobbacco sold when we know the clear dangers of them and there is nothing positive about it. Instead in Sweden there is just "Monopol" on alcohol where only a state owned company can sell alcohol, but still its sold... just like all the sugar laden products, people become addicted and the companies want money. They dont care about peoples health... i saw a documentary where the owner/people working in a company said they would never give their children the product as it was so unhealthy but they didnt care if other people fed it to their children/ate themselves, because he just wanted the money. People dont want their choices taken away from them either, but sometimes you have to because people cant make the right choices. BUt like you said... its about education. We had a course about this at the start of the year - health promotion - (which is the program i am studying), where we need to focus on educating people and helping them make the right choices but not forcing them. Because often forcing people to make changes doesnt work, instead we need to educate and inspire people want to wantto make the choices for themselves and because it will better their life. Which is what i try to do with both eating disorder recovery and veganism... i never want to or try to force people to recover or eat plant based, but through education and inspiration i am helping people anyway and not because i am "making or forcing them" tto make the changes.

      This is such a huge topic and i could write so much about it. As well as the whole sugar thing.. because sugar isnt necessarily bad, but the fact is that its in everythign now a days and a lack of education leads to people eating too much of it. When sugar in moderation doesnt have to be bad, but people dont realise just how much sugar they eat and they dont realise why the overdose on sugar is bad. But hopefully in the future things will change...

    2. Since I've been weight recovered and had more control over my diet I've reduced my added sugar intake to below the recommended maximum limit, and honestly it's not that hard. And it feels really good and you can get a lot more nutrients and protein in snacks because you're not just eating a ton of sugar. Obviously a little bit of added sugars fine, but I really wish more people would start realising that they should maybe eat a little bit less of sugar - and eat more of other things obviously, I'm not just suggesting people cut out calories or anything and don't replace them.

  7. Lol I thought you were joking with the peanut allergy xD I bet you will give it up if you find the man/woman of your dreams :)

    1. Hahaha most likely... has to be a real dream person then! I guess as long as I can still eat cashews and almonds I can compromise XD

  8. Hi:) just a random question that came into my mind: do you buy products whose label says it might contain traces of milk or eggs?

    1. Yes, those labels are just because the products are made in the same location as other products containing milk or egg and they have to be written in case their are "traces" found and cause allergic reactions. So if someone has a serious allergy towards egg or milk they wouldnt buy those products, but if you are a vegan then its ok, because if there is a chance of 0,01% milk in the product because its made in the same factory/location, its not the same as the milk being added to the product purposely i.e it would just be traces.... if this makes sense :) So its written for allergy reasons just incase :)

    2. Yes, it makes sense:) thank you. Just because my favourite bread's kabel says that, but now I can eat it without being concerned about if it contains eggs or milk, haha

  9. I totally get what you mean by "not craving meat/eggs/dairy"! I went vegan a few months back and until now, it feels like everyone is just WAITING for me to "give in to my cravings and start eating normally". They can't seem to stop offering me non-vegan food! Still, I try to be patient and decline politely. I've often wondered why is it that I just don't miss any of those food even though I was a huge eater of eggs and dairy. Maybe it's like you said, our bodies are getting enough nutrients from plants so there's no specific "craving" for an animal product? Hopefully with time, others will start understanding this and accept that I'm a happily nourished and healthy vegan! :)

    Deep respect for you by the way. And I love these random ramblings haha. Peanut butter is life!

  10. I must drink about the same amount of tea in a day as you do tea and coffee - I don`t think its excessive :) I love my tea! My other half does comment though, I drink way more than him in a day.
    I was brought up drinking tea - so my mum says. From when I was only little I would apparently get up when my dad did and go downstairs with him for my early morning - very weak and milky - cup of tea in my little plastic cup!
    Its amazing how this topic of "random thoughts" triggers all sorts of thoughts and memories! Love the post - it was fun doing it :)