Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Imagine life without an eating disorder - being free

Imagine the day you wake up and you smile. Happy to be alive, happy that it is another day and you have so many choices, so many things you can do today.
You smile because your body works, because you have a body that has energy. A body that is perfect, even with its 'flaws' and uniqueness.
   You look in the mirror and smile at yourself, think you look good... even with your messy hair or bloated belly. That is ok, that's human, that's normal and you know that . So you don't let it bother you.

You go to the kitchen and make the food that you want, whether its pancakes with cream, french toast, or maybe a green smoothie or some oatmeal with berries and peanut butter.
You realise you have your whole day infront of you... whether its work 8-4 or school from 9 -4pm, or maybe you have the whole day to choose exactly what you want to do.
    You have family and friends, a support system around you. A friend who you can call and go for coffee and cake and enjoy sitting at a cafe for hours and enjoying a slice of cake. With no thoughts of guilt, anxiety or compensation. But just happiness, to be free from the demons in your head. To be able to finish the whole cake with cream on the side, not even caring that you ate pancakes for breakfast or that you are going to a restaurant in the evening.
   Or maybe you go out and eat lunch on your own, enjoying spending time on your own. Able to order whatever food it is you want.

Imagine being able to listen to your body... you are tired, so you allow yourself to spend the day in your bed and watching series and films. Able to eat food and enjoy it, without worrying about the fact that you haven't exercised today. You are able to buy a Ben and Jerrys for yourself and eat as much as you want, whether it is 2 table spoons or the whole jar. You can eat it and enjoy every mouthful of it. Not worry about whether it will affect your body or not, or whether you will need to purge or exercise to compensate. Not worrying if eating a bit of ice cream will lead to a binge or will lead to purging. But just eating something because it is what you want.

Imagine the day when you are free.... When you are free to live life the way you want. To be free of the demon inside your head. Where you can be happy. Not feel guilty over food or exercise. Not feel social anxiety or have OCD or feel depressed. Not hate yourself or have a voice in your head telling you that you are fat and useless. But instead having a voice that tells you that you are awesome today.That you look great in that outfit and reminding you that your smile is your best feature, so you should smile often. But also you want to smile.... you want to smile because you are happy, you are living life and free from your past.

Imagine what life can be like.... what is it you choose? Do you choose this life, with a demon inside your head. Or do you choose to fight for something better?

Its YOUR choice, never forget that.

**the post was written in 2014 - but i thought it was ok with a repost!**

1 comment:

  1. Oh Izzy this is such a powerful post. But it made me so sad. You see, that used to be me. I used to be free and happy with myself and body and not have any hang ups about weight and food. I usecd to be able to eat want I wanted, when I wanted and not feel any remorse or guilt. But that person has gone - caught up in the grips of ED. It has taken my happiness and my health and is still trying to do so. Daily I am trying to fight it but its an exhausting battle and I dearly wish that I had never succumbed to this dreadful debilitating illness in the first place. Why did I let it happen? What was I thinking of when the first bit of the slippery slope into ED began.
    I can only hope now that I can stay fighting this illness and one day get back to being that happy and healthy person I was. But its a long and rocky road. But I crave that freedom and peace that being free of this ED will surely bring, and it is to that desire that I try to remain strong.
    Thankyou for your inspiration and non stop encouragement that reading your blog gives me, For your time and dedication to helping others win this horrible illness.
    Thankyou xxxxx