Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

Translate

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

I dont have an eating disorder because...

“I eat too much!”There is no maximum calorie limit for eating disorders. An eating disorder is not about what you eat, but how you eat- your feelings/thoughts about your body and your intake.
I’m not underweight!”The majority of people who develop an eating disorder will never become underweight. The only disorder that is diagnosed based partially on weight is anorexia- and for that, if you’re an average weight but meet every other criteria, you’ll still be diagnosed with ‘atypical anorexia nervosa’. It doesn’t mean you aren’t sick or that you don’t need help.
“I don’t meet the anorexia/bulimia guidelines!”OSFED (formerly known as EDNOS) is not a ‘failed’ eating disorder. It is every bit as serious as anorexia or bulimia. It is also the most commonly diagnosed eating disorder, meaning more people have this than anorexia or bulimia.
I don’t make myself sick!”Vomiting is only one form of purging. You can have bulimia, anorexia or OSFED/ARFID and not make yourself sick.
“I still eat!”So does everybody else. You can’t photosynthesise, after all. Even people with eating disorders eat.
“I feel like a fake/ a fraud!”So does basically every single other eating disordered person. This is a really, really, really, really common feeling. You might feel guilty for ‘misleading’ other people into believing the problem is more serious than it is, or feel like you’re overblowing things. That’s totally normal and it is not true. You are not a fake or a fraud.
“I eat things that no real anorexic would eat!”
I have known eating disordered patients with these safe foods: chocolate, frozen meat pizza, fruit, ice cream cones, potatoes, granola
I have known eating disordered patients with these fear foods: : chocolate, frozen meat pizza, fruit, ice cream cones, potatoes, granola
Safe/fear foods are not based on logic or reason. They are individualised. There are even people who don’t have any fear foods- they’ll eat anything, they’ll just feel crappy and purge it/ restrict afterwards. All of the experiences described here are those of a person with an eating disorder.
“I’ve never been inpatient!”Neither have most eating disorder sufferers.
“I’ve never been tube fed!”Neither have most eating disorder sufferers.
I’ve never been near death!”Neither have most eating disorder sufferers.
My blood work/ blood pressure is fine!Eating disorders affect different bodies in different ways. Some people find their blood work suffers; others find their blood pressure or pulse dips; others find that, whilst they’re suffering hugely mentally, their bodies hold up well. This is not a measure of how ‘sick’ you are. All of these things- weight, bp, pulse etc- are just symptoms of the sickness. The sickness is in your head.
“I don’t feel sick enough.”
You never will. Sorry. “I’m not sick enough!” is one of the most common ED thoughts there is; please don’t listen to it. It is a lie. Do not compare your misery to someone else’s; nobody with stage I cancer says ‘yeah, but that person is a stage III, so I’m not really that bad and I won’t get any treatment yet’.
I still get my period!”‘Period loss’ has been removed from the DSM as necessary for a diagnosis of anorexia, and no other eating disorder requires it. It was viewed as a flawed measure of illness, and so it has been removed. Whether or not you get your period is not an indication of how ill you are.
“But I binge eat without throwing up”Binge eating disorder is a newly added eating disorder in the DSM, where people eat large amounts of food in an ‘out of control’ manner but then do not compensate inappropriately for it. It is very much a real eating disorder.
“I don’t calorie count/ weigh myself!”I know many people with eating disorders- including anorexia- who have never calorie counted, or who don’t own a pair of scales. It’s not required for diagnosis.
“I think about food all the time!”This is a symptom of an eating disorder. Malnutrition causes the brain to focus 100% of its attention on food- finding it, getting it, eating it. Daydreaming or fantasizing about food does not mean you are not sick; quite the opposite, in fact.
“But I enjoy eating!”
Most people do. Eating is enjoyable. Even in the depths of my restriction, the food I ate brought me great pleasure. It’s linked to the previous point, to a certain extent. Enjoying food does not mean you don’t have an ED.
“But this is just how I am!”Eating disorders often start in early childhood, and it can be hard to break out of a pattern that well-entrenched. It’s not impossible, though. Chronic eating disorders can be harder to beat, but they can be beaten.
For more information on eating disorders and what to do if you think you have one, visit

5 comments:

  1. Thank you for this post- it came just when I was doubting a lot of these things for myself once again! It's funny how it would always be so easy to tell a friend in the same situation these things, but when it comes I ourselves, we believe all the myths so easily! It is always good to be reminded. I also wanted to say thank you for a writing such a wonderful blog, it really has been helping me during treatment to keep going and find peace :D en väldigt tacksam tjej

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes I went through so many of these thoughts when my parents first tried to get me treated and I was immediately admitted to hospital in a very traumatising way which I didn't really understand because i never believed I really had a problem I thought I was just super healthy because I ate 3 meals and some snacks every day and I never purged or anything so how could I have an eating disorder? but it was just what I was eating in them that wasn't enough and also over exercise .... it's really horrid the way you can fool yourself until it's too late and it's mortifying because like everyone else knew. Also so easy to see other people doing similar stuff and use it as evidence that you're fine, like one of my best friends at the time was the person who kind of first introduced me to the idea of eating less because whenever she ate in front of me she'd have a forkful of pasta or half a sandwich but she wasn't ever underweight which made me feel I'd get fat if I ate more than her! So that was a main reason I refused to see I had a problem. And yet this whole time she was saying I had a problem to her parents! Even though I always ate more than she did when she was with me- so she was the constant telling me I was fine and making me feel greedy for not skipping breakfast like she said she had but tbh I don't believe her now. I'm still angry and bitter about this sorry to go off on a long thing- I've had to stop seeing her because I can't deal with that rubbish. Thank you for making this blog a place I can actually talk about this stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you dot mind me replying but I just saw your comment under mine and was very grateful you wrote it... As I have never heard this experience from someone else of feeling that you eat more than others (or you think you do!) who don't have an ED so there must be nothing wrong/general confusion as a result of this! I guess I don't have anything to add really just wanted to say you're totally not alone in this :))

      Delete
    2. Yes, and now that I'm recovering I almost feel angry with classmates and friends who tell me at 2 in the afternoon that they have not eaten anything today, so that's why they have no energy, and I would just yell at them: then eat fir god's sake... Unfortunately, other people's comments still trigger me a bit, but then I think rationally, and tell myself that I know exactly how crappy it is, when I eat only once or twice a day some little... Whatever, I wish evetybody would be just happy with themselves and not feel guilty for eating!
      love, anothet Anon

      Delete
    3. Yes it's so tricky not to let stuff like that upset me, though I am also starting to get better at rationalising it out. Like I know that I now eat the right amount for me so it shouldnt matter what someone else does - one of those things I know but yet find it hard to remember when I'm very anxious. (Love- The same anon who posted earlier)

      Delete