I wish there was some awesome tips or magic advice i can give you but when it comes to fear foods or increasing calories the only thing you can do is to just do it. The fear wont go away by itself, it wont get easier if you dont face the fear. The worries, "what ifs", anxiety and guilt will still be there in your mind until you begin to face the fear that holds you back.
The cake or the chocolate or the pasta bowl will still always be scary until you try it... and try it again and keep trying to eat that food until it no longer gives you guilt or anxiety. Its not enough to try a fear food once, you need to do it until it no longer gives you guilt or makes you worry about eating the food.
The first time you try a fear food maybe you just manage one bite, or maybe just one potatoe or half a banana, but the next time maybe you manage more and the time after that even more. Its a process and you have to start somewhere.
You also have to remember that the fear is irrational.... ask yourself why are those foods scary? Or why are carbohydrates scary or something you need to avoid? Why dont you eat enough healthy fats?
If you were to listen to all the headlines and articles about what to eat or not eat you would be left with just air.... and even in some countries the headlines are to not breathe too much air outside because its so polluted and the polluted air can apparently lead to weight gain..... so then you are left with sunlight and nonpolluted water if you were to listen to every headline about what to eat or not to eat.
Increasing calories and eating foods that scare you is just something you need to do. Sure you can live your whole life just eating safe foods, but i can tell you that it wont be a fun life and you will feel restricted and food will always be something that leads to guilt and anxiety and not something you can enjoy and relax.
Try to think rational about food. Food is energy, you need food and you need alll the macro and micronutrients. And chocolate, cake, cookies, buns... they can all be part of a healthy diet. Its all about the balance.
But also if you are binging on certain foods..... for example if you have been so strict with what you eat that it suddenly goes the other way where you cant stop eating then you need to find the balance as well. If you are binging on food then the best thing is to find out WHY you are binging and what you can do to solve the actual problems (if you search my blog for binging/bulimia you will find many helpful posts about this topic), and then to realise that its ok to eat 2 cookies or a slice of cake or 2 sandwiches... you dont need to eat the whole package of cookies or the whole loaf of bread at once. Then its about finding balance and moderation and being ok with eating just a little... no black and white thinking.
It does get easier in time with food. The more you try to face the fear foods and not let food control you or have power over you, the easier it gets.
Imagine... if you were to face 1 fear food each week, in a year that would be 52 new foods? Hopefully you dont even have 52 fear foods, but maybe that includes eating out, going to the cinema, going to cafes, travelling and eating away from home, letting others prepare your food for you, eating without measuring, eating more than on a meal plan, eating the food you bake and cook etc etc
Keep trying and dont give up. Dare to try new foods and know that the anxiety wont harm you and neither will the food.
Also if you search my blog for "facing fear foods" or "fear foods" i have many posts about this topic such as how to cope and what to think about etc which might be helpful!!

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