Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Dealing with emotions in a healthy way

If you have the time, could you do a post on dealing with emotions in healthy ways during this stage of recovery? Right now I'm almost weight restored and much more emotionally aware, and finding it hard to process the emotions that I used to numb with my ED. I find this especially tough when it comes to the emotions surrounding what caused my ED to begin with. Any advice would be appreciated!

When it comes to dealing with emotions the best thing i have noticed in my own life is to feel the emotions. Dont surpress them as then the emotions will just build up over time so that eventually it just gets too much and you "burst", or the smallest thing will set you off as you have so much pent up emotions and feelings.

Emotions and strong emotions can be scary at times. Sometimes you just dont know what to do with yourself when you have strong emotions, but its good to have things to do or a mantra to tell yourself or someone to talk to. I find that when i get very strong emotions i need to express myself in some way often through writing whether its on my blog or in a journal, and at times i talk to my family if i feel that will help. But it can be good to let your emotions out in some way and in a healthy way... not by restricting or binge eating or exercising away the emotions or harming yourself, but instead feeling the emotions and expressing them in better ways. Such as drawing, writing, talking can help with that.

Sometimes what helps is to just listen to music and to sit and breath - this is especially helpful if i feel i am having mood swings where my emotions are like a rollercoaster, or times when i feel angry over everything or very irritated. Then its best to sit and distract myself but also maybe to figure out where that irritation or anger stems from and to not take it out on others. When you feel your emotions are like a rollercoaster its easy to take it out on others or get angry or sad or irritated at others, when instead there is an underlying problem you might need to deal with instead maybe its stress, anxiety. Maybe you need to eat something or to rest... and the worst thing you can do is to get into an argument with someone or begin getting irritated over little things.

When it comes to dealing with emotions surrounding your eating disorder my best advice is to talk to someone and try to deal with those emotions. There can be alot of emotions involved, i know i felt guilt over what i put my family through, guilt over how i had lost friends and "ruined my life", not to mention the guilt over all the wasted food and wasted money on me as well as the guilt over the injuries i had caused my body. And then there was alot of fear for the future, fear over how to handle life, fear over never loving my body or never being happy despite being free from an eating disorder and so many other emotions and it didnt help when my hormones were still imbalanced and i had terrible mood swings where the smallest thing would make me angry or irritated. But like mentioned earlier... talking about these emotions or expressing them in someway. Dont try to hide or repress them because they wont go away, instead they will linger in the back of your mind and eventually something will set you off and those emotions will come flooding even stronger. So instead trying to deal with them.

Recogonize your emotions, feel them... but dont let them control or overpower you. Its when you let the sadness or the guilt or the fear or any other emotion become too much and it overpowers you, its then that they become scary and you feel powerless. But instead if you feel and recognize the emotion, for example "now i am sad" and you allow yourself to feel sad but you keep trying to go on with life and not let the sadness control you. You might need some time to just sit and cry but then try to pinpoint why you feel sad and what you can do to improve your feelings and emotions.

If you feel that you have moodswings then there can be reasons for that such as hormonal imbalances or just lifestyle imbalance or if you feel that your emotions go from very high to very low and are uncontrollable then i would suggest talking to a therapist in case it requires medication or therapy to help control your emotions and deal with them in healthy ways.

Dont numb your emotions - emotions are there for a reason. Bbut you do need to learn to cope with them and deal with them in healthy ways. This is a part of life and life is so much easier when you know how to cope with your emotions and different situations in life. Try to figure out what you feel and why and what you can do to make yourself feel better again/cope in a healthy way.

Its not always easy but it does get easier in time. 
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6 comments:

  1. Thank you for answering my question! I think some of the emotions I'm feeling are regret and sadness about the past, stress, loneliness, and low self worth in the present, and stress and fear about the future. It helps just being able to identify the emotions! I will try some of the advice, such as journaling and talking through it. I'm going to therapy once a week now but sometimes that's not enough. Thanks again and enjoy your day!

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    1. Im glad i could help, and like you wrote tryng to identify the emotions and work on them and the underlying problem is the best. Maybe you can try to see a therapist twice a week if possible or talk to friends or a family member or maybe someone else if possible.

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  2. The "stop" skill is really good for managing emotions in a mature way. It means making sure you stop before doing, or saying anything, and putting that buffer in between thought/emotion and behaviour. It means you can recognise that you are in an emotional state of mind and then take time to stop before doing anything so that it's not completely emotion driven or impulsive

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    1. Yes, that advice is great. I usually say to never react upon very strong emotions, not even strong happiness as you often make bad decisions or spontaneous decisions you regret later. Instead its better to wait with decisions or actions until you are in a more stable mood/mindset.

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  3. This post is absolutely fantastic! It really helped me a lot! Just in the morning I had an argument with my mother, and because of that I really felt the urge to restrict again, but as soon as I come home from school I will try to talk to her instead. Talking and expressing my feelings are certainly better than "solving" my problems with ED behaviour. Thanks for letting me recognise that:)

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    1. I hope things went well after school and you were able to talk about the arguement or problem and not resort to any negative coping mechanisms!!

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