Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Struggling with suicidal thoughts (always seek professional care!)

Hi Izzy, love your blog, thank you so much for all the help you give! I was wondering how you deal with suicidal thoughts and recover after a suicide attempt? I just mean generally though, like how would one recover. Sorry if it's too personal you don't have to talk about it. Thanks xx :)

  First off I really hope that you are getting professional care and treatment to help you. Having suicidal thoughts or attempting suicide is very serious and does require help in some form whether it's therapy, medication or inpatient care. So the first thing is to talk to someone and get some form of help. Even calling hotlines/phone centers for people with suicidal thoughts can help.

The advice given is just from personal experience. And the first thing to realise is that a suicide attempt is never just done "out of the whim " or because you feel a little sad. But there are strong emotions involved beforehand or trigger events that have lead to that cause of action. So what you want to do is to learn to cope with those emotions or deal with the triggering events.  Unless you get to the bottom of the actual problem it will still be there causing anxiety and problems. So you need to find healthy ways to cope.

Second is to take care of yourself. Whether it's after you've had an attempted suicide or you are struggling with those thoughts, you need to take care of yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend or a pet. Give yourself nourishing food, allow yourself to sleep, get some sunlight, talk to someone.  But most of all don't sit alone with your thoughts. Even just sitting quiet but in the presence of others can be helpful.  Just to not feel alone.

Also finding your reason to live or to smile each day. Find something that keeps you going. No its not easy, and for me personally Somedays it was just about surviving. No amount of goals or faking happiness could motivate me and I saw no way out -thought I would feel that negativity and that pull towards death all my life. But that is not the case.  Somedays you just need to survive, but all the time you need to try to find your motivation and will to live. Maybe you can set up travel plans or start a new hobby or do something you've always wanted to? Maybe you can get a pet.... for me personally, my dog has been the number 1 reason I've stayed alive. When nothing else in the world could make me want to stay alive, I just thought about my dog and how I could never leave her. Of course if you can't take care of yourself it might be hard to take care of another living creature;however that might be exactly what someone who is depressed needs.  To have a reason to leave the house, to not feel alone, to feed your pet and take care of them and maybe realise you need to do the same thing for yourself!

Also find a way to express yourself and your emotions.  Don't keep things bottled up, and most of all know that you aren't alone. There are people who can help you and people who will listen. You just need to open up.

Also know that you aren't alone with your thoughts or feelings.  But also don't feel embarrassed or guilty about the suicide attempt.  When I attempted suicide in the past and failed I felt so incredibly ashamed and guilty, thought I was such a failure that I couldn't even end my own life.  But you know what... you're not a failure.  There is a reason you are still alive and that is because you are meant to live and meant to experience life and all the highs and lows. Find coping mechanisms to help you with life!

Next advice is to get rid of sharp objects and pain killers etc in your house. Anything which you might be tempted to use to harm yourself- get rid of it. And also don't spend too much time on your own. Be around others as that will help you distract yourself from your thoughts but also to keep you from doing something reckless.

Remember that the thoughts and strong feelings will pass. They won't last forever but most people need lifestyle changes, expressing their emotions in some form as well as medication either from doctors or herbal remedies. But also nutrition plays such a huge roll (as well as lifestyle factors) in your thoughts and thinking.  So no, drinking water;using coconut oil and eating broccoli might not make you recover from depression but it can help, especially if you lack vitamins or minerals or have inflammation in your body or even bad gut bacteria males depression worse. Making changes mentally and lifestyle changes- can make a huge impact on your health!!

It's a process and not everyday is easy but you can get better!!! Just keep going and trying to make the best of each day.


  1. Having a pet makes a tremendous difference. For me, getting my cat was the best thing I`ve ever done. She gives me the motivation to carry on and a sense of purpose because she relies on me for food, warmth and shelter etc. Also stroking and cuddling a pet is very soothing and relaxing. I would highly recommend contact with animals, whether it is with your own or even visiting an animal shelter to help out with their care. Its not a "cure" in itself but developing that bond with a pet is very special and can certainly help.

    1. Yes definitely. Having daisy at home was a motivation for me and I know in the past I wrote about animals in treatment or that you should be allowed to meet animals or your pet when in treatment as that can be helpful. But of course have a pet does require alot of energy and time and if a person is barely able to take care of themselves it might just be the opposite of helpful to then get a pet... but like you said, maybe being around someone else's pet or volunteer work with pets might help. There are pros and cons!!

  2. There is such a thing as committing suicide "out of the whim" (on the whim...) ...

    It's a real thing that many do. No thought is put into it, no depression is seen beforehand, it is a split second decision that happens quite frequently with no trigger.

    1. I havent read the article - i'll do that once i get a chance. But if someone tries to commit suicide just on the whim/spontaneously there is often something more behind it... either that they are extremely impulsive and get a quick thought and just react on the thought before even thinking. For example at times ive had these spontaneous thoughts like jumping infront of a train "just because" not because i have been super sad, but just because i could/what would happen if i did... HOWEVER i dont react on those thoughts becaus ejust as soon as the thought appears, my rational side kicks in and reminds me why that wouldnt be a good idea. So im guessing people who just react without thinking, there is an underlying problem or reacting too impusively. For example impulsive shoppers/shopaholics, they can buy things without a second thought and then afterwards the rational mindset or realization kicks in, but they live in the spur of the moment/cant stop themselves etc Though i will read the article and see what it says, but it feels like there has to be some sort of underlying problem even if it might not be depression?

    2. I just read the article that was linked. My reading of it is that it agrees with Izzy -- the author is disputing spontaneous suicide, not arguing that it happens?
      Anyway, this is an awful topic and we should all fix our minds on life, while we have the wonderful opportunity to do so! Let's live!