Of course recovery from an eating disorder doesnt make everything better, for example you might struggle with other illnesses or other mental illnesses or maybe you have low self esteem, or you have bad relationship with your parents or family, or you have economic problems or you feel lonely or have no friends etc, those things dont automatically get better just because you recover from your eating disorder. Of course that shouldnt deter you from choosing recovery because it gets easier to deal with other things in your life when you arent struggling with an eating disorder at the same time. For example, i will always have CF, a chronic illness whReich affects alot of areas in my life but its easier to just deal with one illness than to deal with both CF and an eating disorder. And when i suffered from depression it was "easier" to just struggle with depression and not both an eating disorder and depression.
But also with recovery from an eating disorder i learnt to become more confident in myself, working with my self esteem and self confidence. Finding balance in life. Learning more about myself and getting stronger in myself and not being ashamed of who i am or what i like or what my opinons and thoughts are. With recovery from an eating disorder i learnt to love myself, i learnt what health and balance is, i learnt to take care of myself and want to take care of myself. I learnt to be confident, to grow my self esteem, to be stronger mentally and physically. Learnt to make friends and not be so shy or always in my comfort zone. I learnt to cope with anxiety and negative thoughts, i learnt to cope with guilt and how to deal with tough times. Recovery taught me so much and made me grow as a person, and i am still growing and changing and becoming more mature.
For some, recovery also entails weight gain, but not for everyone. However for everyone who needs to recover from an eating disorder, it means changing thoughts and habits. Self evaluating and making the changes necessary to become healthy and free from your eating disorder.
Life may not be perfect or exactly as you thought even when you recover from an eating disorder. It can take months and years to feel at peace and healthy and balanced. It can take months to years to begin to love yourself and to feel truly free from your eating disorder, but it is not impossible. It is not just about settling either, but about making the changes until you know that you are not held back by an eating disorder, when you dont just compromise or think "Im healthier than i have been before, but maybe not where i want to be"... then you need to keep fighting.
Life without an eating disorder means freedom and feeling at balance and peace with yourself and with food and body image. You dont feel the need to harm yourself or compensate for food. You dont hate yourself or spend every moment wishing you looked like someone else. You dont spend hours trying to change your appearance or trying to be someone else. You dont worry about food or spend hours thinking about food and you dont feel guilty for eating differently or more. You dont spend your days thinking or planning or obsessing or worrying about food, its just a part of your life. You can live the life you want without being held back by an eating disorder.
Things happen in life that can make times tough and stressful, but life without an eating disorder will ALWAYS be better than life with an eating disorder. Because either way you go through tough times in life, but it will always be easier when you dont have an eating disorder controlling you or having to deal with one or more mental illnesses/illnesses at the same time.
Think about the positives of recovery and all the things you can and will be able to do and all the reasons why you can, should and want to recover!!!
Hey Izzy, love this post! Here are just a few of my reasons:
ReplyDelete1. Being able to experience emotions again, the good and the bad.
2. Having energy for relationships with my family and friends
3. Being able to get up and walk around without getting faint and dizzy.
4. Being able to stand up in the shower without feeling like collapsing.
5. Improved focus on my studies
6. Having the energy and freedom of mind to explore my passions
7. Icecream!
My reasons for recovery:
ReplyDelete- I realised I can't love anyone or anything entirely if I don't show this love for myself.
-I wanted to be healthy enough to have children.
- I wanted to find joy in all of the beautiful things in life.
- I wanted to enjoy snuggling in a blanket instead of thinking that it didn't burn enough calories.
- I wanted to stop thinking about food.
- I wanted to stop looking at my thighs every time I sat down or went to the toilet.
- I wanted to be happy.
It's worth it. To me, real recovery is actually the best decision I've ever made.
Yes! Not wanting to be cold all the time because it 'burns more calories'is one of the best reasons for me :D
DeleteYour blog is truely inspiring! Did you ever find yourself eating secretly during recovery because you felt like eating does not fit into other people's image of a recovering anorexic? I feel like I always want to eat more but can only do so after I am finally alone at some point.
ReplyDeleteMy reasons for recovery:
ReplyDeleteTo be stronger and healthier
To stop feeling ill and worn out all the time
To be able to walk down the street knowing I look "normal" rather than obviously sick
To be able to go to the doctor about something and not have to be automatically weighed
To be able to enjoy food for what it is like I used to be able to
To be able to join in when my family have takeaway nights
To not feel guilt for actually liking food and eating - making excuses like I`m full or I don`t like it
To feel warm again and not spend another summer in a sweatshirt
To have the energy and drive to explore new things in life like visit places or take up a hobby that interests me
To be able to do more things with my partner
To like myself again and feel proud of myself rather than hate myself and feel worthless and ashamed.