Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Life, recent thoughts and gratitude

Hello and good evening everyone :)

First off i think its super fun that so many of you commented on the previous post and left a message about what motivates YOU in recovery. More of that on my blog, as i know it inspires others and i get messages from people saying that even if they dont comment on my blog they read those types of comments from others and get inspired!! So if you ever want to share a recovery success or progress know that you can always comment on here and share it as it makes me so happy to read about your success and it is a motivation for others :)

Onto my day.....  A rather long, slow day with a whole lot of head ache but i got through my hours of studying in school despite lacking study and school motivation recently. At the moment i just want my exam to be over on Friday so i can move on and start with my new course. A little tired of reading the same thing over and over right now.

Apart from studying and school, today has been a day filled with gratitude. I think most people forget to be grateful or thankful in their daily lives, at times life just feels awful and there is nothing to be thankful about. But over the past year i have learnt to be more grateful about my life and where i am in life and all the possibilities and opportunities i have in life. Each night before i go to sleep i say a little thank you for everything in my life - to go to bed feeling happy and thankful is a wonderful thing and to see all the positives in my life.

Today i have been extra thankful though, because while i was at the gym this morning i felt rather tired and heavy so kept my workout very basic and simple and kept my workout short as i didnt have the energy for anything else. When i thought about it in afterhand i felt so happy over the fact that exercise is something fun for me, it is something that gives me peace and energy and enjoyment. Even though i ate roughly 4dl flour and 1dl oil yesterday before bed (i made home made "fried bread" which i then topped with vegan cheese and butter) my workout was not decided or based on what i ate the day before. My workout is done because it is something fun and something i want to do, not because i go there to compensate or workout because of guilt. Of course it has been several years since i last worked out due to guilt or compensation, but its so easy to forget (thankfully) how i once worked out due to guilt and anxiety. How i forced myself to workout to burn calories and run until i would fall or faint. That is not a part of my life anymore, but its easy to forget that unfortunatly that is part of many peoples lives... working out because of guilt or workouts based on what they ate previously. Sometimes i dont give myself enough praise for the fact that i got out of that negative bubble and sometimes i forget just how hard it was to break free... but all i can say is that its not impossible to break free. You can recover from an exercise addiction... and today i was so thankful that i have!

And secondly, i have felt thankful over the fact that i can afford food. It makes me so sad to see all the beggers on the streets and i wish i could give them money and at times i have, or i will buy them food and give to them (Nothing i share online as i dont feel that i need to. Its something kind i can do but it doesnt have to be shared online.) This morning my fridge and cabinets were rather empty so after school i went to the store and bought all the food i neeeded and wanted, and that is a privilige which is easy to forget. Its easy to forget to be thankful over the fact that i have money - even if it is thanks to a student loan - i have the economy to buy lots of delicious food, to pay for my rent and to live life and have a rather comfortable life. Of course i dont spend alot of money on things and am not so materialistic so that helps to keep a budget!

When i came home and started unpacking my groceries and began meal prepping i said a little mental "thank you" and felt gratitude for the fact that i have food and that i can eat and eat so much nourishing food - because that is another privilige in a way. I live in a country where vegan food is rather cheap and easy access to which of course makes it easy for me to be vegan, but i know that might not be the case for everyone.

Today i hope that you also feel grateful and thankful for things in your life. Even if life isnt always easy or perfect, sometimes you just need to say thank you anyway. To see the positives and the good things in your life. It is a much better life in my opinion if you can be happy, positive and thankful!!




5 comments:

  1. Oh yes.. sometimes before I eat and see my plate full on the table, I just feel eternally grateful. Some people in Africa and other countries are starving, walking many miles to get access to water. I'm really thankful. And these blessings should always motivate us to make use of our beings and complete each other's lives. We all have problems and hardships but that's why we are living in a society, to help each other's with our words and actions. We complete each other's. Let's help others overcome their problems and at the same time, make them aware of their blessings, too. :)

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  2. Hey Izzy! I've really appreciated all of your uplifting posts lately, they're very encouraging as I'm in a tough stage of recovery and trying to motivate myself to push through. I have a quick question. When did you start to actually enjoy eating again? It seems you really enjoy cooking and eating now, was it like that throughout your recovery or did it come later? I have made a lot of progress in terms of eating enough calories, spacing my meals throughout the day, eating a wide variety of foods, and eating all my "challenge" foods (had some Mac and cheese yesterday!). But I still find little pleasure in eating. Instead, I view it as a chore that I just have to do to be healthy. So, do you have any tips on how to make eating pleasureable again? What worked for you? Thanks!

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  3. Each day I think about things to be thankful for and say thank you - I have done this for quite a while and really helps me get things in perspective ie if I am having a not so good day I can think more rationally about it and even find some good points where none seemed apparent before.
    I`m with you on the helping the less fortunate - a while back whilst waiting for a bus an obviously homeless young man began asking people if they could spare any change for his bus ticket as he had secured a place in a hostel and that meant a good few hours walk to the next town. It was the best feeling in the world to be able to give him his bus fare money - and he was so grateful and went on to tell me how pleased he was having secured this hostel bed after months of sleeping on the streets. It really made me appreciate my situation in life and I was grateful that I was able to help him.
    So yes, thinking about things that I can be thankful for in life has helped me a lot and lets me see things from a different perspective. Its easy to get bogged down in daily life and just take things for granted.

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  5. I love this post. I've commented before about the importance of gratitude in recovery, and it's wonderful to see other people discovering or living the same. A grateful heart is a happy heart. Addction-based disorders like EDs are built on the "not enough/more" disease. Sufferers feel they are never _______enough don't have enough, etc - and that the only solution in sight is to chase more of whatever it is. More weight loss, more muscle tone, more alcohol, more shopping, more attention, more hospitals - whatever it is they are fixated on, it's always more. In contrast, a grateful heart lives in the land of abundance. A place of "enough". The chase stops,and the love and joy have the time and space to grow. When I stopped looking at myself as nothing but a mishmash of wants and needs and deficits, and stopped looking at the world as nothing but stuff I didn't have, then recovery had a chance to take root. What if we all looked at our lives as lands of plenty? What if we all decided we were enough, just as we are? What if we all decided to stop chasing some physical ideal, or money, or power? What would life look like if we all faced the day from a place of deep love and gratitude, instead of fear and envy? How might today be different if I tell myself I already have everything I need for peace, that today I could sit and groove on the awesomeness within and without without chasing some elusive fix? Today, I wake up in awe of what I already have. Today, I go to bed joyous over the gifts that came my way today - a breathtaking sunrise, an exchange with a parent, an opportunity to help someone, a job well done, a roof over my head, the heart space to truly enjoy and love my pup and her cuddles, a place to lie down, a body that still functions despite the fact that i spent 20 years trying to destroy it, an abundance of accessible food in my city, in my very own kitchen, a clear conscience when my head hits the pillow, the feeling of the perfect song playing at the perfect time during a run, etc etc etc. You see? I live in a land of plenty. During my sick years, I lived in a land of scarcity - even though everything in the world was exactly the same. It was only my heart and mind that thought otherwise, and skewed my perception of reality so badly I couldn't see the awesomeness that lived everywhere. If you had a choice, wouldn't YOU prefer to live in awesomeville? I plan to never leave :)

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