Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, February 23, 2017

Following a meal plan and not cheating with food - eating disorder recovery

Hi, Izzy! I am on the road of recovery currently and really want to recover. However, I find so hard to follow my meal plan that the urges to manipulate and eat less keep controlling me. What can I do to stop those behaviors?

Hello, its great to hear that you want to recover - that is the first step. However its not enough to just want to recover, you have to make the changes necessary to recover. You have to face your fears and fight your eating disorder to fully recover.

When it come to following a meal plan and not cheating, its up to you to make the decision to actually follow the meal plan. I know its easy to think that it doesnt matter or that cheating here or there is ok or skipping meals sometimes isnt so bad, but that is compensating and comprimising with your eating disorder which is not what you should do.  

My suggestion also is that if you live with someone else, tell them the ways that you cheat with your meal plan. It might not be easy and it might feel shameful but in the long term it will help you. If your parents or family or friends know what you should be eating for your meals or know about the ways you cheat with your meal plan then they can keep an eye on you. Of course they cant force you to eat, but you might not want to cheat when you know that someone else knows what you are doing... or when you are kept accountable for your actions. 

You also have to remember that food is fuel and in the end, you arent cheating anybody but yourself. In the end its YOU who has to deal with the consequences. You can keep eating less, keep skipping meals or not eating what you should but in the end its you who still has the eating disorder, its you who still has fear foods, its you who still has guilt and anxiety around food. The only way to break free from that is to face the fears, to follow your meal plan, to eat what your body needs and to fight your eating disorder, otherwise you will be stuck with the fears and the guilt around food. 

I know its not easy, but in the end you have to realise that food isnt bad, and your meal plan isnt "too much", the food on your meal plan is what your body needs. Food isnt shameful or something that should give you guilt, its what your body needs and the only way to recover is to face your fears and to do the things that scare you. It does get easier i promise. However it is easier to follow your meal plan when you 1) know why you want to recover and 2) actually want to recover and 3) have someone else to eat your meals with and make sure that you are eating what you should. Of course if you dont have anyone to eat your meals with, then you just need to be extra strict with yourself and each time you feel like cheating with your meal plan ask yourself what it will lead to... what good will come from cheating on your meal plan? Sure you might have less anxiety for the moment, but it makes your eating disoder stronger and it just keeps you sicker for longer. 

Each meal time you have a choice and you can either choose to stay sick or choose to go against your eating disorder and eat what you should be eating. Its up to you to make that choice, no one else can make it for you. But its your life and you have to take control of your life and not let your eating disorder control you anymore.

Of course, its easier said than done, but its not impossible - you just have to be stronger than your eating disorder and know that following your meal plan will HELP you! :)

Image result for eating disorder recovery quotes
Image result for eating disorder recovery quotes


  1. Do you think it's important to be normalweight even if you are just like 1-2 kgs away? Being recovered is very little about weight anyway.

    1. As you mentioned, recovery is more than just weight gain, but yes being a healthy weight is recommended. And not just the lowest healthy weight, but bmi 19+. This is for many reasons 1) the body feels safer and more likely to get your period back and hormones will balance better, 2) if you do lose weight you dont automatically end up underweight, but also losing weight can trigger ED thoughts the first 1-2 years (or more) after recovery so its not good to end up underweight if you just lose a few kilo. I mean if you end up with astomach bug or with an illness and cant eat as much as you need to, you dont want to automatically end up underweight. But also 3) ask yourself why you dont want to reach a healthy weight or why you cant.... because you can.

      While i was sick i thought i could never reach a healthy weight, kept saying that because of my CF i couldnt reach a healthy weight and i hadnt even had a healthy BMI before i had an eating disorder. But that was just my ED trying to still control me, trying to keep me back from full recovery because i was still scared of having a healthy weight. So to fully recover i of course had to reach a healthy weight and let go of my fear of weight gain and having a healthy weight.

      So yes, its recommended for numerous reasons both physical and mental reasons. And in the end, what does 1-2kg really matter if you gain them? It will help you mentally and help you physically, so why not?

  2. Can I rack your brains for any ideas of what to do with potatoes? I always seem to have them baked or as chips and its got a bit boring. I always just seem to end up having baked beans in my baked potatoes so any ideas for other fillings would be great! I`m at a complete loss as to how/what to do with sweet potatoes too, they have become very popular here and I would love to try them - so much inspiration is needed here!
    I always think your food that you eat Izzy looks great - could you post a few combination ideas? Like what goes well with something? Also how do you cook spinach? I`ve tried in the past but it just ends up like a mush.
    Thank you for your help xxx

    1. I might write some food tips in a post... but ideas for potatoes:

      Mashed (example add garlic!)
      Baked sweet potatoe in the oven or microwave
      Sweet potatoe fries
      Mashed sweet potatoes
      Make a cold potatoe salad using creme fraiche (or vegan version) and herbs.
      Shepards pie (can be made vegan of course!)
      Buy bake potatoes and heat them up and add toppings such as a lentil mix or tofu or other alternative.
      Make "potatoe waffles" search for "pÄffla" or potatoe waffle on Google:)
      Sweet potatoe waffles/pancakes.
      Potatoe "tots" - you can Google and find good recipes.
      Potatoe burgers
      Use potatoe as a base for pizza!

      Etc so many options and ways to eat potatoes:) or just add them to vegetable soup hahha.

  3. Just to add some "topping"ideas to potatoes...sweet potatoes are delicious with tahini or avocado or even eggs/ sour cream if you are not vegan.
    It may sound a bit odd, but if you like a sweeter taste you could even try sweet potatoes with sugared nuts.

    1. There are so many topping ideas for sweet potatoes or normal potatoes :) feels like I could write an essay on ways to eat potatoes and toppings haha

  4. Thanks so much for all your ideas - it has certainly helped me and I`m going to try them out! I never thought to put sweet toppings with sweet potato and I like the idea of adding garlic to mash - that would certainly liven it up :)
    A post on how to eat different foods - and of course potatoes - would be great too!
    thank you, both of you xxx