Hello, first off you have made amazing progress which you should be very proud of :) And even if you may still be struggling you have come a long way, and you can get through this as well.
Food is something i love and it does make me happy, however its not always like that. Sometimes i get bored of eating, especially if i just have the same foods at home. And at times cooking and eating just seem like a "get it over with" and then i rely on meal prep so that i have food ready to just eat. For the majority of the time food does make me happy - i like finding new foods, new recipes, new flavours, new combinations. I love eating and knowing i am nourishing my body but also love eating chocolate and cake and dessert because that is delicious as well. It has definitely not always been this way though.
In recovery i ate because i had to, because it was on my meal plan. And i longed for the day when i knew i didnt have to eat according to a meal plan or thought i could eat less calories. I also found it very strange to think that people just sat down and ate when they were hungry - as i still didnt have any hunger feelings, i was just constantly full and never really wanted to eat. I did enjoy food, but not in the same way i enjoy it now. Ii enjoyed food in a sort of obsessed way where food was numbers and i enjoyed feeding others as well, but i didnt enjoy food that was high fat or high carb... i enjoyed food only if it was low calorie or if i knew what was in it. There was still alot of fear and anxiety involved with food.
Then later on when i had faced fear foods, ate balanced and intuitively i enjoyed food alot and loved eating. It was part of my life, not my whole life... just like it is now as well. However i feel like i enjoy food more now when im vegan because there are more flavours, more vegetables, more colours, more creativity. I get inspired by different accounts online and i love finding the new vegan products that are being sold. Of course with that said, food is something i enjoy alot... i enjoy buying food, i enjoy making food (somedays), and i enjoy eating food (mostly), but food is still just part of my life and only 5-10% of my day is spent eating or making or thinking about food.
What are my tips on enjoying food?
Its easier to enjoy food when you are actually hungry, but if you have a meal plan to follow then stick with that.
Eating with other people is a good way to make food more enjoyable again. Or maybe go to restaurants or cafes and try food there, try somthing new and different. Go to a dessert cafe and order 3 or 4 different cakes and try them all, just for the sake of it?
Go to the food store and try something you wouldnt think of trying? Or maybe have a food theme for the week. Maybe one week eat lots of thai food, another week make indien food, the next week try chinese food etc
Add oil, butter, cream... it can make a whole lot of difference in taste wise. For example, potatoes in the oven with no oil or salt are ok... but once you add oil and seasoning its like a whole new thing!