1. Phases of recovery
2. Extreme hunger (about bingeing in recovery)
3. You are not a unicorn
4. The fitness trap
5. The Minnesota starvation study
6. Disproportionate/rapid weight gain explained
7. Insidious activity (about the dangers of exercise)
8. Bloating and stomach troubles
9. Water retention
10. The renovation
11. Calories are your bodies money
12. Veganism/801010/HCLF
"The internet glorifies eating disorder recovery. It makes it look like there are girls out there who eat lots (they don’t) and can stay thin. It’s all pint parties and romantic looking hospital trips and being skinny with no visible consequences. Platforms like Instagram do not promote full recovery because to be ‘fully recovered’ would mean, in most cases, leaving the cosy, comfortable Instagram community and going out there and facing the messy reality of life. And that’s not ‘Instagram ready’.
Instagram does not show what life is like 5,10, 15 years down the line. When treatment teams have given up on you, you’re ‘non-compliant’, when going to psychologist/psychiatrist/dietitian/nurse appointments is boring and simply rehashing well worn ground. You’re 25 and sitting in a cold apartment, wishing you could afford pints of B&J’s but all your cash goes on gas and electricity and water rates and toilet roll. You get up, go to work, think of food. Your friends, bless them for trying for so long, have given up; they have travelled, they’ve bought houses, they’re married. You’ve never even had a relationship, never mind walked down the aisle. While those around you start to have babies and worry about sleepless nights, you worry about the calorie difference between cornflakes and cheerios.
I never thought I’d reach this age and still have my ED. Two seconds ago I was a teenager, a little girl who thought she’d just wake up magically better with a career and money and friends and a husband. I didn’t need to do the therapy, stick to my meal plan, ohhhh no. Then BAM, here I am.
Listen to me - time flies. It passes so quickly. Don’t believe in the recovery facade. Get out, or at least start climbing that ladder, before you wake up alone with only 8 years worth of meal lists and missed opportunities next to you. " Source
Wow, that's a really motivating (and tragic) read! Thank you xx
ReplyDeleteI have an unrelated question, I'd really appreciate it if you could reply. When I first started recovering (nearly a year ago!) my hair was falling out in handfuls. I ended up losing about half my hair. Now it's growing back, and it's unbelievable awkward - I have curly hair, and it sticks up all over my head and looks so ugly. Of course, I'm glad that it's growing back, but it's really hurting my self esteem. I was wondering - did this ever happen to you? Did you lose your hair when you started recovering? And if you did, how did you deal with it?
I thought I`d read most of the youreatopia so was surprised to find a couple from your list that I hadn't - the one about stomach discomfort was certainly interesting reading and I have learnt a lot from it. Especially as it talks about food intolerances and how to deal with them in recovery - and that you can "come out the other side" from food intolerances if you persevere with them. As it happens I have already just started re-introducing such foods into my diet so this extra information has come at exactly the right time for me.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for putting this post together Izzy :)
My hair began to noticeably thin as well and when I washed my hair loads came out. I tried buying anti loss shampoos and thickener lotions - but to be honest, they were all just an expensive waste of money. What I do now is only wash my hair when absolutely necessary and with a good shampoo and conditioner, keep brushing to a minimum and get regular trims from the hair dresser. Also, I have found taking a vitamin and mineral supplement specially formulated for hair very helpful.
ReplyDeleteAll these things have helped me cope. I too have noticed new growth, tends to stick up from my head too, and I was overjoyed when I first saw it! This has kept me going even though my hair doesn't look the way I want it to be. I know that eventually it will settle down and I`ll be able to have the hair style I want - the most important thing is that's growing!
So I would say to you, try not to let your hair get you down and keep reminding yourself that it is growing back and things won`t always be this way. Take care of your hair as best you can and keep going with your recovery. I know this is tough but that's really all you can do - your body is repairing itself but it takes time.
Good luck!
Thank you so much for replying! I know, I really should be focusing on how great it is that I'm getting my hair back at all. I'm trying to look at the positives, I guess I just had a bad self-esteem day. Taking a supplement sounds like a good idea, I'll have to look into that :)
DeleteGood luck with your recovery and your hair as well!
No, you`re right - its so hard not to let it get you down. When my hair started falling I really freaked out and it scared me so much. I thought things would get better in recovery - not worse! But I am noticing an improvement in my hair now so I hang on to that thought and know that this will pass. We just have to stay strong and hang in there!
DeleteWishing you all the best with your recovery xxx