Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, January 29, 2017

Stop asking people about their weight and height and calorie intake

Something which i see alot of online is people (i am guessing 99% of them are people with eating disorders)  asking others what their weight and height is, or asking them how many calories they eat.

Image result for weight doesn't matter

First off this is rather disordered... most normal or healthy people dont do this, they dont care. I mean when you look at a person you dont begin thinking about how much they weigh or what their BMI is or how many calories they eat. Some people though might think about height, for example sometimes if someone is very short or tall normal people might ask them about their height. But for normal people they want to know about peoples interests, hobbies, what they like or dont like... not how many meals they eat per day or whether their weight is healthy or their fat percent is normal.

You have to realise that it doesnt matter what other people weigh or what their BMI is or even how many calories they eat. Sure it might be inspirational to know that someone eats 3500kcal a day but in the end it doesnt matter because need different energy amounts. Who cares if one person needs 2000kcal, the other person 2800kcal and another 4000kcal - it all depends on lifestyle and genes and body composition. Some people can eat more, some can eat less.

And when it comes to height and weight and BMI you have to once again realise, what does it matter to you? You can have the same height and weight or same BMI as someone but still look completely different. You wont ever look like someone else. I know you might think it is comforting to know that someone else also has the same weight as you, or comforting to see someone with the same height as you have the same weight as your "goal weight", but in the end it wont help you and you wont look like them either.

I know i have many write to me and say it is comforting to know that i look the way i do even after gaining 25kg, and that its comforting to see that i look like i do even when i weigh X kilo. Or people who have the same height as me and they want to know my weight so that they can feel "comforted" that they wont look huge.... but that type of mindset is wrong and not so healthy. Because in the end you wont ever stay just one weight, your weight will fluctuate... my weight goes up and down 2-3kg in just a day based on many different factors and thats just normal.

Whenever people online ask me what my height and weight is i wont answer because i dont think it will help them. Im not ashamed of how much i weigh and would answer, but i know that the information wont be beneficial or useful to the person asking, instead it feeds the disorder. If you are the type of person to ask others online what their weight, height or calorie intake is i really think you need to rethink your behaviour. I mean what good is that information, how does it help you? Its just focusing on numbers when you are so much more than numbers. Somedays you eat more, somedays you eat less, at one period in your life you weigh Xkg and another period in your life you weigh Y kilo, but the number doesnt matter and getting caught up or obsessed with numbers is not a good idea.

If you find someone inspiring then follow them for that, dont follow someone because they look a certain way or because they have your "goal body". People you follow online should give you inspiration, just like the people you spend your time with in real life should give you energy and be a positive inspiration, not drain you of energy and make you feel bad about yourself!!


What are your thoughts about this? Do you do this.... and if you do, why?


3 comments:

  1. Hi! I must say i both agree but also disagree with youon this matter. Because, yes, it is disordered behaviour. But actually in my daily life i have had it quite often that people come over and ask me what i weigh and/or how tall i am. And that is probably because of the way i am(and Always have been) build. My frame is just very 'small' compared to most others. That's because i have a disease thatmakes me a bit too lean if you know what i mean? Like a bit stick-like arms and legs and also quite narrow hips and shoulders. Besides that i'm 178 cm tall and have Always had a fairly low/underweight BMI. This was before my ed. And people often asked me things or made comments. Which wasn't Always nice! Actually it annoyed me as f*ck because i couldn't give a single damn. I remember as a child i Always wanted to be smaller ,less tall, more muscular and especially more 'average'.. Because that's what everybody wants in a way i guess? To not stand out too much. To be 'the different oné'. Also my shoe size is rather large for a woman but my feet are really small at the same time (dont know a better word haha). So also in that matter i felt different somewhat. But all of this has never been a factor in developing my ED! Not at all even. Strange enough, you might say. But that's just because for me my ed has never been about appearance. It's mainly been about wanting to be perfect and mostly to have control over myself, my thoughts and my life. Obviously it brought the opposite.
    Now that i consider myself, finally, recovered i don't look malnourished and sick anymore but i do lookthe way i did before my ed. Meaning i'm still rather 'lean' i think you should call it. And now people come up to me again complimenting and such. And you know what i answer now? I tell them it doesn't matter how i look like and that they look great as they do! During my ed (which was very severe and you could really SEE it if you know what i mean) NOBODY EVER commented let alone complimented on my appearance. Which isn't so weird. But they did stare at me a lot and that made me super uncomfartable obviously. All i'm really trying to say is that for some (for me) an ed isn't necesarilly an appearance thing and in that case it really can be comforting to know how other people with healthy weights look like to know it's fine to gain and will only make you feel better. I do agree though that you don't necesarilly need to KNOW what exact weight or height a person is because if you know someone is healthy and can see it that should be enough encouragement already! :)

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    1. For most people an eating disorder isnt necessarily about appearance, i mean it wasnt for me... it was wanting control but then i also developed body image disorder and appearance and scared of fat gain and scared of weighing a certain amount became a fear but it never started off that way. While i was recovering i used to google to find pictures of people who had the same height as me and weighed Xkg, trying to think "ok, well they dont look fat so i wont look fat", and it was some type of comfort but it was still disordered. I personally find it very strange when people who arent doctors or dieticians ask someone what their weight or BMI is... its very irrelevant unless the person looks sick or the person asking is trying to help the person. But it just seems like useless information... i mean i weigh more now than i did a few years ago but i look completely different and look like i weigh less just because i have more muscle mass. I personally just find it strange and rather disordered when people want to know what others weigh unless it is for an actual reason? If this makes sense.... this is just my opinon though.

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    2. Yeah i get you! Totally agree with you in that sense. It's just that it CAN be helpful in a certain phase but it shouldn't become some other kind of obsession hahah. Though of course 'healthy' people who are interested in certain things make me wonder if they actually have a helathy mindset because it IS something rather disordered..

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