Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Thursday, January 5, 2017

Isolating yourself vs. spending time on your own

Spending time on your own doesn't have to be a bad thing, infact some people might need to do more of it. Some people hate being on their own, hate being stuck with their thoughts or feel lonely if they spend a little too much time with just themselves. Whereas others - such as myself - love spending time alone and can end up spending a little too much time on my own if i dont actively make sure i meet people weekly. Being alone doesnt mean you are lonely - not necessarily.... sometimes you can feel lonely. But for me i spend time on my own because i enjoy it, because being around too many people for too long drains me of energy and being alone helps me to regain energy. I dont mind spending a few days just by myself, or doing things on my own such as going to cafes, going shopping, travelling etc Being alone sometimes is a choice and something i enjoy.

However, when i was depressed that craving to be alone turned into isolation. It was no longer a healthy amount of time i spent on my own - or wanted to spend on my own. I tried to push everyone away, declined to meet people, declined to do anything. It wasnt fun to meet or be around people and i began to isolate myself.  There was a sense of lonliness when i was isolating myself, but when i just need alone time to regain energy then there is no lonliness and no pushing people away, instead its a selfcare choice for myself.

It is so important to be aware of how much time you spend on your own but also the reasons why. Are you pushing people away, isolating yourself? Maybe you dont want people to see your behaviours or interfere with your routines? Maybe you are struggling or suffering so much that you dont want people to be around you or you dont have energy to be around people. Or maybe your alone time is just because you enjoy it, because you know that the next day you will be around lots of people again so you just need your evenings to yourself? Or maybe you just need to turn your phone off for a while and deconnect and read to regain energy after a whole day with your family? Or maybe you spend alot of time on your own because you havent managed to make friends, and its not isolation or because you enjoy being on your own, but because you have no other choice... and then i would recommend starting a new hobby or group or something so that you meet new people and actively trying to talk to people and start a conversation. Friendships take time, but they often start with a similar interest or just a "hi" or asking a question.

Think about why you spend time on your own and ask yourself whether its a healthy amount of time on your own or not?
But also if you are the type of person who is never on your own maybe you need to ask yourself if you need to do just that.... spend a little more time with yourself. Sometimes when you spend too much time with other people you might also be running from something in your head, or a fear of being alone or lonely.

There is a much needed balance between socializing and beiing on your own. The balance is different for everyone, buts it can be beneficial to find what worksfor you and make sure that you arent isolating yourself and pushing people away and just saying that its because you are an "Introvert". For so long i pushed people away and used that excuse, but humans need contact and socialising... we aren't hermits or people living in solitude.... we need contact with other people and you should spend time with people who GIVE you energy, who make you feel happy and bring something positive into your life. When you find those types of people then you realise that you dont need as much time on your own but also that being in social company doesnt have to be draining if you are with the right people.

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5 comments:

  1. Do you think that you wear only black because of your depression? Well now you seem not very depressed but when you were really down, did you put on yourself black clothes because you felt like that? Whats your favourite colour anyway? :)

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    1. I always black clothes hahaha... most of my pictures I'm in black clothes if it's not one all back and one item with colour like a red scarf or something!! I don't actually have a favourite colour ^-^

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  2. Is it true that cow milk have more disadvantages than advantages? I have osteoporosis and in hospital they gave me lots of milk because it helps to get your bones more solid.. But Ive heard that vegans say that cow milk isnt for people and that it is just a disadvantage to drink it. I dont know what to do because i really want to get my bones okay back and doctors and family tell me to drink more cowmilk but on the other side i read about how cowmilk isnt good.. What do you recommend? Did you stop drinking milk because of that reason?

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    1. You can get calcium in other ways than milk. And no milk doesn't necessarily cure or help osteoporosis. However you should listen to your doctor. Though you can get calcium from tofu, tempeh,almonds, kale, beans and soybeans and soy milk with added calcium. So I would suggest increasing all of those foods I. E eat plenty of them and then maybe a supplement tablet as well. However this is just advice and listening to your doctor is best or taking a supplement to help along with vegan sources of calcium!

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  3. If you don`t want to drink milk you can get specific supplements for aiding bone health. Ask your pharmacist, they should be able to advise you further

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