Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Feeling anxious and back to university

Wednesday evening and all I need now is chocolate and series watching, haha. Feeling so mentally drained right now!!!

I'm sorry for my lack of posts recently, there just hasn't been any inspiration or creativity to write. But if you leave some questions below I can try my best to answer them :)

The past 48 hours have been filled with inner stress, anxiety and sleepless nights, so i havent felt the best, but now when im sitting in my room in Gothenburg i feel alot more calm and happy again. Mostly i felt the inner stress because of school work... i have 3 overlapping courses with start on Monday and well that means alot of work and very long days in school. And when i first began to look through my schedule and all the assignments i felt the stress and panic rising, as well as dealing with the inner anxiety of my upcoming test. But today i just sat down, took some time to think and reminded myself to not stress over the "upcoming assignments", that wont do me any good. Instead focus on one thing at a time, im good at wanting to do everything at once and that just leads to stress, too much anxiety and finally a burn out. And i need to learn from past mistakes!!

And of course anxiety over life in general. But once i was on the train to Gothenburg i felt more focused and less anxious, and when i finally arrived i just felt happy and ready to get back to routines and schedules! And of course so thankful for having living accomodation. I must admit it felt strange to head to a new living place - once again, but it also feels good and feeling so thankful for everything in life at the moment.  I dont take anything for granted and i am so appreciative of everyone in my life and everyone who has helped me in life as well as the struggles i have had with living accomodations.

I had a great time in Stockholm with my family and i will miss my dog, my family and my old gym alot. I do have mixed feelings but the good thing is that i like my "independant life" as well so its ok, and even if i will miss Daisy - my dog - i got to cuddle her and take her for long walks while i was at home and enjoyed my time while being there! 

Anyway, for now i am going to get settled in and then try to find my way to the store so that i can get myself some food and most importantly chocolate!!!! hahah. 

Let me know if you have any topic suggestions and i will try my best to keep up with regular blogging before my hectic schedule begins!! 
Todays breakfast - 2 portions oatmeal with chia seeds/pudding mixed in as well as a banana, jam and soy yoghurt.

left overs lunch: Taco shells filled with lentils, avocado, potatoes and taco crisps on top as well as hasselback potatoes

Yesterdays dinner - tacos! (I am going to miss eating tacos with my family!)
hahahah, i just need to learn that even if i amnt craving snacks while shopping - ill crave them later!

9 comments:

  1. Good luck with all of your new classes! I can totally relate to the overwhelming feelings of stress right now....just thinking about everything I'll have to do in the future makes the anxiety worse. But I just focus on taking life one day at a time, and making sure I write down everything I need to do!

    Do you think you could write something about BBG workouts? Some people swear by them, and the process does seem to make sense. I've been lacking motivation and time to head to the gym, so I was looking for workouts I could do in my dorm room that are still challenging. But I'd love to hear your opinion!

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  2. Izzy, you're writing so much about your life now and also about how your life was with an eating disorder, but I don't think you've ever written anything about your life BEFORE that. It's just an idea, but it would be fun to know what your life was like before anorexia :) And to know if you see any differences from now and then and if your mental illnesses has affected you in any specific way?

    Lots of love xxx

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  3. How do you feel eating and making food around new people and with your new flat mate? I moved out a week ago and live with a girl and I feel so uncomfortable eating around her or making my food. I feel like she judges me because I eat so often and she comments on the food and amount I eat and it makes me not want to eat at all? How do I overcome this anxiety? I feel like I can't eat when she is around and I just wait for her to be gone or until I'm gone until I eat? What do I do? Do you ever feel this way?

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  4. Just an idea, but maybe you could make little posts of wisdom about fysiologi / want you are currently learning / how the body does work? It would be very interesting!

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  5. Hi Izzy, I'm currently kinda half way recovered, 5 kg gained and 5 kg until I get to BMI 18.5 (and have kinda been stuck here for 6 + months), my question is, i havent challenged any "junk" fear foods mostly because it is not appitiseing - not because of calories or anything ED related (i think?) - but because i dont like lollies, chocolate, cakes, oily take away, cheese, soft drinks - even if its no calories!! etc... even artifical zero calorie sweeteners i dont like - i would much rather REAL sugar or fruit. I guess i just like the taste of food but not man made food!!

    i had a taste of a "healthy" whilegrain cereal the other week and it was too artifically sweet for me! (i do like sweet things like bananas and berries)

    Its hard as i want to challenge my ED but i dont like any of the foods that are seen as challenging for NON ED reasons - should i force myself to eat it if i dont want it/wont have it in the future/if i was healthy i wouldnt ever choose it?

    My fear foods are quite healthy so i dont know why theyre fears but everyone seems to not take them as serious fears even though its very challenging for ME. As well as being a vegetarian no one thinks im trying to recover :(

    Fear foods - nuts, seeds, eggs, bread if i dont know the level of salt/fat, oats (mainly scared because of bloating i get), dried fruit, corn??????, crisp breads/crackers, high fat dips, hummus!!!????

    Sorry for long and confusing question - basically im asking - Should you eat food you TRULEY (NON ED) do not like to challenge the ED/recover properly?????

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  6. Topic idea: VLOGS!
    I love all your videos, please don't stop making them! :)

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  7. You seem a bit like me in the sense that youve said not a lot of people know you had anorexia, CF, overdosed, etc. For me, my mum and brother know, my family that i choose not to talk to know a little bit because they where onxe involved bc apparenltly it was my mums fault i was unwell... well that didint work!!

    Anyway, i have a hard time living because it feels like im living a lie. Ive moved high schools 5 times and every time i have to lie about hqving a normal life.... how do you cope with this?

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  8. I love your vlogs - so maybe a quick tour around Gothenburg of your favourite/interesting places?
    And since becoming vegan and eating more vegetables do you find you eat less often? ie because vegetables are fibre and fill you up more and for longer? I have found this to be the case myself and was wondering if I`m doing things right or if its a sign that things are backsliding.

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  9. I hope you had a lovely break with your family! Understandable that you are feeling a bit anxious about returning but I`m sure once you get amongst things again you will be fine :)
    I hope you are settling into your new apartment ok and will soon feel comfortable.
    Have a great weekend!

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