Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, January 8, 2017

Eating less when you reach a healthy weight? Not needing to eat because you are a healthy weight - relapse

2) and I have (and have had) problem with eating enough when i'm almost weight restored or i have just reached the minimum healthy weight.. Like eating in the lower weight has been some way easier for me becaus then i feel i need it but when i'm in better weight it feels "stupid".. And thats why i have replaced (*relapsed?) when i reach better weight.. So do you have any experiences with this kind of struggles / do you have any advises?

I understand how you are thinking as i used to think the same back in 2011/2012. I had sort of committed to recovery and accepted i needed to gain weight but i thought that once i reached my goal weight i wouldnt be able to eat chocolate or cake or cookies anymore, i also thought that i would have to eat very little because what i ate was to gain weight. So when i didnt need to gain weight i didnt think i would need to eat so much.

But the truth is that you need food always - everyone needs to eat no matter their weight or size, but of course if you need to gain weight you need to eat more than when you need to maintain weight. But you can still eat alot, and you can still eat all types of food. For example you can still eat dessert, you can still eat chocolate, you can still eat all types of food just in different portions - but you dont have to restrict yourself either. Naturally as you get closer to your goal weight you will also begin living life more, you will feel you have more energy (hopefully) so you might do more things as well, or maybe you will start with a sport, or maybe you'll end up just eating 5 meals instead of 6 meals as that works better for you. Yyour intake vs. energy used should balance itself out as your body tries to keep you in balance and tries to maintain your weight. 

You always need food, no matter if you spend the whole day lying in bed or whether you are out and walking around all day, you still need energy. And the guideline is roughly 1800 - 2000kcal (of course this varies) a day for a girl just to maintain, so then if you do things or are active you need even more. HOWEVER you might naturally need more just to maintain as well, it is very different.

Eating is necessary, it isnt something you need to earn or something you should feel ashamed about, it is a necessity just like breathing. I mean you dont feel guilty for breathing or needing water, so why feel guilty for eating? 

Its good that you have realised this is a "problem" and now hopefully something you can work on. Think about all the other billions of people in the world who are a healthy weight and still eat plenty each day and its the same for you - eating doesnt stop just because you are a healthy weight, its something you always need to do.

Try working on your thoughts and facing this fear, try to love your body and learn to not use food to control your life. Food is just a PART of life, food is eaten to give energy and because its delicious as well, but food shouldnt be the main focus. And when you begin to live life you let food just be part of it and you eat because you are hungy and stop when you are full (of course at times you eat just because the food is there or because its delicious or just because of social occasions. **)

I hope this helps a little, but the mindset change has to come from you and realising that food is a necessity is the first step!!


  1. Hi Izzy, I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question. I began recovering around November 2015, and weight restored to a from BMI 13.9 to BMI 20 by May 2016 - on 2100 calories a day maintenance, with 1 hour's walking. For a while I was happy, but life's got more stressful and I've since relapsed, restricting to around 1400 cals a day. This still seems a high amount to me to call it a relapse, but I've lost about a stone in weight, now BMI 17. I guess my question is that I know I need to up my intake again, but will I gain a huge amount quickly,as I initially did in recovery, and will the weight go directly to my stomach again? I'm worried that I've damaged my metabolism now. I'd be really grateful if you could answer me. Thank you so much. Your blog was like a guiding light and gave me so much hope last year. I think it's s good sign that I've returned as a reader.

  2. Izzy I'm not sure if you've experienced this; I've started anorexia recovery a couple months ago(June) but just 3 months ago I've been falling back to old patterns again. Restricting caused me to binge a lot and gain weight rapidly. I hated that and started taking laxatives but it got worse day by day. Now I can't even have a normal meal, it's either binge and purge or nothing at all. I've been doing this everyday for months now. And I'm still in anorexia recovery, so I have to look my doctors in the eyes and lie to them about me being ok. And they believe me. I don't want to live in this lie anymore. I'm a bulimia who's recovering from anorexia. I want to stop but I just don't know how. If the doctors ever find out, they're gonna send me to inpatient or make me gain more weight even though I'm already at bmi 20. What do you think I should do?