Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Body love, fat shaming, skinny shaming?

This post is just one of my thoughts and rambles post, but i hope that i can get my thought process across, however it would be easier to vlog this but at the moment i cant do that so ill stick to writing. But of course feel free to comment below your thoughts or opinions on this topic.

So... body love and body positivity is for everyone, for all shapes and sizes. Both men and women, tall or short, skinny or fat, any skin colour, any ethnicity.. everyone. And that of course includes people who are extremely skinny or extremely overweight, or does it?
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Image result for body positivity

I am all for body positivity and body love and my personal view is that YES body love is for all shapes and sizes, even if that person's weight/size is at an extreme. Many dont agree with this. But i personally think that there is a difference between saying, love your body and accept your body, and promoting a certain body shape or size. But i dont promote being underweight/very underweight or being very overweight, because biologically that isnt healthy. Health also has a whole different range of definitions and it depends how you want to look at health, just based on biological function or take into consideration how a person feels. Because someone can have an illness and still be happy, or they might be by biological standards sick, but still feel happy and content and can live life to the best of their capability... and you cant really deny/refuse to take into consideration that a person feels happy and content despite what the biological standard (?).

My personal opinion is that body love and positivity should be for everyone but i also think promotion should be on HEALTH and balance. And that is of course different for everyone. There should be no standard body or weight or size, but just health. So even if i say "love your body" to someone who is very underweight, at the same time i will say love your body now, while working towards a healthier weight, because self love should be all stages of your life and how your body looks at different times. I dont think you should wait with self love until you are a healthy weight or your goal weight or goal size, but instead love your body as it is now.... but also realise that you can love your body but also need to change it. For example if you are very overweight or underweight, you might feel happy or love your body as it is which is GREAT, but if it is necessary you might also need to gain/lose weight for optimal health.

I also think that skinny shaming and fat shaming is wrong. There are people who are healthy despite having a lower or higher weight than standard or recommended, and it is so awful to see when those people get lots of negatives and mean comments despite them being healthy. People have different shapes and sizes and people have different healthy set points and weights, and you shouldnt shame a person for that. Telling a skinny person to "eat a burger" is just as bad as telling an obese person to "eat a salad".... its just mean and wrong and does nothing but verbally harm the person.

Society should be more accepting of all different body shapes and sizes and promote body love instead of telling everyone to change. But also to be able to say that "you are beautiful" without having to bash another body shape or size. I often find that people comment "you look so much better with curves compared to when you were skinny" or even comments such as "i wish i was as pretty as you"... its great that you are complimenting someone else, but you dont need to bring yourself down a the same time. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, instead say "You are beautiful and so am I"... or just dont comment about comeones appearance and instead compliment them about other things such as their strength(mental or physical), their intelligence, their life coping skills etc

There is so much about this topic/area which i want to talk about but it is hard through just words on a screen and much easier to talk about. I might try to sit down and make a video or write another post about this topic, but for now i just needed to write out these thoughts.

Body love is for everyone but that doesnt mean that you are promoting unhealthy body weights either. Someone shouldnt have to wait with self love just because their weight isnt healthy, thats just counterproductive... instead self love and body love always, but also not denying when there is an actual health problem that needs to be solved.

What are your thoughts or opinions on this? I would love to know your thoughts about this area!

Image result for body love for everyone
Image result for body positivity

Thinking recovery isnt worth it because life will just be the same

A thought which i have noticed many in recovery have, and is also a sort of excuse to not recover is the thought of, what if life will just be the same and it will be awful. And then recovery won't be worth it and i will be stuck with a body i hate.

Unfortunatly i can not say that that won't happen at all. But i dont want to discourage you either, because you know what..... a life without an eating disorder or a life without a mental illness is a much better life regardless. Some find that holding onto their eating disorder is also a way to not deal with the problems of life. They can always blame it on their illness and hide behind their illness, but also they think.... whats the point of recovering if life will just be awful anyway, might as well stay in this hell/Or comfort as some think. But like mentiond, life WILL be better when you arent struggling with a mental illness.

However, if you have/had family problems, money problems, a broken heart, bad friendships or other problems, they won't go away just because you recover, but by recovering you are dealing with one of the problems and also makes you more capable to deal with the other problems. Life is not easy and there are always curveballs and up's and downs, sometimes you think " is this really worth it.... is this life?", but it is worth it. Recovery and life are always worth it. Problems are problems and they CAN be solved even if it takes a week, a month or years to solve, someday the problem will be gone but you do not solve that problem by staying sick or by taking your own life, that doesnt solve the problem, that makes the problem worse.

And when it comes to the thoughts of, "i will be stuck with a body i hate" well unless you focus on self love during weight gain/recovery you might not accept or love your body. It doesnt come magically, it is a process which takes time. Daily love and self love. Being kind to yourself, trying to treat your body like a child or friend. Instead of punishing your body, hating your body and damaging your body, instead you feed it right, take care of your body and be kind to yourself. Try to not get focused on numbers whether it is the scale, measurements, percent or clothes size....those things dont matter. What matters is a healthy body AND mind, no matter what that might look like. And i can tell you, if you can love yourself, be confident in your own body then that definitely takes away a problem in life and you are a step closer to real happiness.

I think using the excuse that "what if i hate life or life will be awful after i recover, so i am not going to recover at all" isn't a valid excuse or reason. Because no one can garantee that life will be great, becuase it isnt always great.... though these is something great in everyday ;) But you know what, some people deal with so much shit in their life, they have one problem after the other and it sucks for them, but they keep going and you can do that as well. You make your life the way you want it to be and know that problems can be solved and fixed and there will be ups and downs but life is always better recovered.

I can say from my own experience that a goal and motivator for me to recover was to have that "Perfect life", i didnt think i would have problems after i recovered i just thought life would be awesome. My goal was to begin school, have lots of friends, eventually have a boyfriend i liked and could have a normal relationship and just have an awesome movie-type life. Did that happen? No, after ebing delcared healthy i started a new school a few weeks(?) later and it took me roughly 2 months to make friends. I felt etremely low, i began struggling with the exercise amount i did, i wasnt coping so well with the stress of school and i began to feel myself burning out and sprialling down into a mild depression by the end of 2012 (and then the thoughts of suicide began again and then i thought.... is this really worth it. I spent a year and a half trying to reach my goal weight and recover and i am left feeling depressed, lonely and exhausted). And then the thoughts of,  i should never have recovered at all began to creep in. But you know what.... because i had recovered from my eating disorders and depression i could get through that battle as well and when i did get through that struggle i had found a group of friends i clicked with, i could somewhat cope with school and stress levels and i also found strength training which i loved. So life did get better even if along the ways there are ups and downs but i also know i am strong enough to get through all the battles.

So know, life will not always be the way you pictured or expected it, but you can get through the struggles or problems. But recovering from your mental illness is one less problem you have to deal with!

Monday, January 30, 2017

Getting settled in and positives

The move is done and now hopefully i can live here for a few months and just feel settled and at home!!

Yesterday i fell asleep with a smile on my face because despite feeling exhausted i also felt so happy. Sort of like things were falling into place. The couple i will be sharing accomodation with are so sweet and such kind people. They really are so kind to me and yesterday when they made dinner they even asked if i wanted to join them, that has never actually happened to me while living with someone else. We might also be going for vegan pizza someday as there is a place i have wanted to go but havent gotten the chance yet... or i might just go with friends, whoever deicdes to join me anyway, or ill just go several times - you can never have enough vegan pizza, haha.

It also feels so nice that everything is vegan in the fridge and pantries as well as the different products for house holding cleaning and such. 

Also the apartment building i live in has a gym that is free to use... i dont know whether i will actually use it, but its kind of nice that i can just go down there in the evenings if i have free time or extra energy!!

Also the room is huge... or it atleast feels huge and for once i dont feel "cramped" or calustrophobic i feel like i can breathe. The past few weeks ive been getting this claustrophobic feeling and this feeling of "i need to get away", like the walls have been moving together and the room getting smaller. .Its hard to explain but ive just felt this unsettled and panicked feelings as i havent had a place to just settle, but now i feel like i can hopefully do that. But also that the course i am studying now is nutrition which i love and is the thing i find most fun to study. So it just feels like life is sort of coming together and turning out so great as well as friendships in university and just a general feeling of well being and happiness!

Just feeling thankful and happy and hoping for the best - but also making life great no matter the situation or circumstances. I mean life is only as great as your mindset, so choosing to think positive and feel happy always!!

For now i am going to lay in my super comfortable bed, watch a documentary and hopefully learn my lesson that eating a whole bag of raw carrots is not a good idea, hahah!!

How is YOUR monday going? What are YOUR positives in life at the moment?

This photo is my favourite and had it as my phone background for a while until i realised that having a phone background drained my phones battery far too quickly, haha!!

How i eat - analyzing my food intake after a 4 day food registration

As a part of my university course i have had to do a 4 day food registration and now i have calculated how much ive eaten. I said i would write out the 4 days on here as i needed to write down everything i eat anyway, however on Saturday i didnt do much blogging and wrote what i ate in a post anyway (though not everything i ate), and my intake yesterday was far from a normal day of eating because of moving, so i didnt feel like sharing how i ate - even if i had to log/write down anyway - and then today is my last day to register however i have ended up with so much stomach pain (most likely from the raw carrots i just ate) so i dont know how much more food i will manage to eat the rest of the day (most likely just stick to cashew nuts (i bought 1kg cashews today, haha!) and sweet potatoe.)

I have begun to analyze the data of my food resigtration and first off i can say that there is ALOT of wrongs with the data. 1) I didnt weigh everything i ate, but i used eye measurements or measurement cups... but then translating the measurement cups to gram was much harder and meant alot of googling and i am sure it was wrong in some cases. But also having to make sure that the nutrition i tracked into the program was either the weight before cooked or after cooked as there is of course a difference in nutritional value i.e 100g raw potatoe doesnt have the same nutrition value as 100g cooked potatoes (because water is absorbed into the potatoes i.e so the weight is different after cooked). So there were a few guesses with that... for example i have no idea whether the avocado was 50g or 80g and had to just put in "half a small avocado" or "half a large avocado", but of course it could be a huge difference. And then of course the data system i use isnt the most updated and didnt have all the vegan foods i eat so i just had to make the best of it. But all of this means that the numbers arent accurate and in all honesty there could be a 500kcal+/- difference in what kcal i ate, and the same with the different macronutrients.

But also need to mention (this will all be written in my analysis that i need to do with my diet registration and activity tracking i have done) that i havent eaten "like normal" either. I.e i was craving pasta one day so bought a box of bean pasta and ate that because i bought it, but i wouldnt eat pasta normally because i dont like pasta, but also that Sunday definitely wasnt a normal day of eating for me so that of course had an impact on the results, and then there is today where i have alot of stomach pain and so my calorie intake will most likely be less than normal which once again has an impact.  Of course this registration is just done for my sake so that i can learn to analyze an intake, analyze how i eat myself and learn to use the tracking program as well as different calculations and references and such, and then of course the essay involved with all the tracking. But as someone who will work with nutrition its important to take all these factors into consideration, not everyday is the same and calorie intake varies just like food type varies!

Sooo.... what have i learnt from my analyzes so far.

I eat less than i think i do.... of course i think that has alot to do with the miscalculations, and that i maintain my weight (i think... i dont weigh myself though, but im sure i would notice if i lost weight) so i amnt eating too much or too little.

2) I get enough protein roughly 1,3g per kg body weight. And i am going to do an analysis of the protein quality and the combining of protein sources as well. Thats the next step.

3) I get a whole lot of iron into me from all the dark leafy greens, raisins and fortified soy milk/oat milk i consume, which is a great thing.

4) I get a whole lot of omega 6 into me and not alot of omega 3... but i do take  a vegan omega 3 capsule to balance that out.

5) I get alot of fiber, basically 200% of the recommendation! haha This isnt so strange though.

6) I dont get alot of calcium i.e 50% of what i should be getting, and i should consume even more than the recommendation because of the vegan diet and the calcium not being as easily absorbed. So im going to double check my multivitamin and make sure that i get enough calcium into me through that but also think more about eating foods with a high calcium intake!

So yeah... that was basically my analysis over my 4 days. Though of course these numbers could be very wrong but i guess its something to use as a base for self reflection anyway. I think its a great thing for everybody to go to a dietician or nutritionist every year or so just to check up how you are eating and get blood tests done as well. Its always good to get different tips and advice about what can be done differently for optimal nutrition! Sometimes you might not notice that you are lacking something until symptoms begin to show and then its gone "too far", for example im planning on getting blood tests done sometime soon just to check up and also make sure that my calcium levels are ok because i definitely dont want to end up with low calcium levels as i was in the risk for developing osteoperosis in the past due to my anorexia and low bone density (but then with the help od strength training and the right nutrition i was no longer in the risk zone.)

So.... if you want me to write more about nutrition or have any questions just let me know and i will try my best to answer!!!

Todays lunch

Yesterdays meal prep


Yesterdays lunch

The huge avocado i ate!

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Vegan meal ideas

There are certain times when i just dont know what to cook or what to eat. Its so easy to just eat the same thing over and over, especially when you have to be economical, but it can get boring to eat the same thing over and over. Some people love it, but i personally find that if i eat the same thing too often or all the time i will end up finding food and eating boring, hence why i try to vary as much as possible. And ive found that just varying up spices used when cooking or boiling sweet potatoe instead of baking it, or doing a stir fry of vegetables instead of baking them or making a lasagna using lentils instead of just lentil soup makes a huge difference!! If you want i can make a post about how to vary foods/tastes/different meal ideas with just simple and basic vegan foods! For example maybe try overnight oats, oatmeal pancakes or baked oatmeal instead of plain old oatmeal!! :)

Here are some recent  vegan recipes ive found and i want to try as soon as i have all the ingredients and time :)

Sweet Potato Barley Stew

Vegan Broccoli and Cheese Soup

Falafel Style Veggie Burger by Veggieful (x)

BBQ Couscous Bowl with Tofu

Roasted Sweet Potato and Cabbage Summer Rolls

Ultimate Vegan Sandwich with Red Lentil Spread

vegan gluten-free carrot gnocchi

Vegan Baked Broccoli and Seitan Pasta

sweet potato coconut curry | recipe

Stop asking people about their weight and height and calorie intake

Something which i see alot of online is people (i am guessing 99% of them are people with eating disorders)  asking others what their weight and height is, or asking them how many calories they eat.

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First off this is rather disordered... most normal or healthy people dont do this, they dont care. I mean when you look at a person you dont begin thinking about how much they weigh or what their BMI is or how many calories they eat. Some people though might think about height, for example sometimes if someone is very short or tall normal people might ask them about their height. But for normal people they want to know about peoples interests, hobbies, what they like or dont like... not how many meals they eat per day or whether their weight is healthy or their fat percent is normal.

You have to realise that it doesnt matter what other people weigh or what their BMI is or even how many calories they eat. Sure it might be inspirational to know that someone eats 3500kcal a day but in the end it doesnt matter because need different energy amounts. Who cares if one person needs 2000kcal, the other person 2800kcal and another 4000kcal - it all depends on lifestyle and genes and body composition. Some people can eat more, some can eat less.

And when it comes to height and weight and BMI you have to once again realise, what does it matter to you? You can have the same height and weight or same BMI as someone but still look completely different. You wont ever look like someone else. I know you might think it is comforting to know that someone else also has the same weight as you, or comforting to see someone with the same height as you have the same weight as your "goal weight", but in the end it wont help you and you wont look like them either.

I know i have many write to me and say it is comforting to know that i look the way i do even after gaining 25kg, and that its comforting to see that i look like i do even when i weigh X kilo. Or people who have the same height as me and they want to know my weight so that they can feel "comforted" that they wont look huge.... but that type of mindset is wrong and not so healthy. Because in the end you wont ever stay just one weight, your weight will fluctuate... my weight goes up and down 2-3kg in just a day based on many different factors and thats just normal.

Whenever people online ask me what my height and weight is i wont answer because i dont think it will help them. Im not ashamed of how much i weigh and would answer, but i know that the information wont be beneficial or useful to the person asking, instead it feeds the disorder. If you are the type of person to ask others online what their weight, height or calorie intake is i really think you need to rethink your behaviour. I mean what good is that information, how does it help you? Its just focusing on numbers when you are so much more than numbers. Somedays you eat more, somedays you eat less, at one period in your life you weigh Xkg and another period in your life you weigh Y kilo, but the number doesnt matter and getting caught up or obsessed with numbers is not a good idea.

If you find someone inspiring then follow them for that, dont follow someone because they look a certain way or because they have your "goal body". People you follow online should give you inspiration, just like the people you spend your time with in real life should give you energy and be a positive inspiration, not drain you of energy and make you feel bad about yourself!!

What are your thoughts about this? Do you do this.... and if you do, why?

Moving day

January 29th 2017 and its moving time for me again. It does get a little tiring to have to pack and move so often, but im focusing on the positives and one of them is realising just how easily i adapt. Adapt my routines to fit with the other person i am living with, and learn to live with another person. Its all a learning experience and part of growing up. The ultimate goal is to have my own place and i must admit i am longing to just have my own apartment somewhere so that i can have my own free time and feel like i can be on my own sometimes, because right now my only alone times have been when i go for walks but even then there are always other people out walking and running. Sometime i'm sure i will get my own place so for now i am just happy that i have living accomodation somewhere!!

So yesterday was a day where i really didnt do much. I got up, ate breakfast, began packing, did my school work and all the different calculations and reading. And then made lunch, did some packing, ate some oatmeal and fell asleep for 2 hours before waking up and eating another snack and then just watched series (feeling like i had a hangover - though i think it was from tiredness and from that 2 hour nap which didnt exactly energize me.) before taking a walk to the store and then making dinner -> and that sums up my Saturday!

Today my goal is to get to the gym for a short gym session before i then clean the room i have been staying in and then taking a taxi with all my stuff to the new place!

Im not going to write so much about my new living accomodation, but i will be sharing the place with another vegan couple who are also my age and study. So hopefully we will have some things in common and it will go well to live with them!! It will be nice that the fridge and pantry will be filled with just vegan stuff, hahaha, and of course all the dishwashing soup, hand soap and other beauty products will all be vegan as well (apart from the items i still have from before i went vegan!).

Ive been to the location im moving to a few times before, but it is still a new place for me to explore which im looking forward to. And will get to live there until autumn so will have a few months to feel settled. And also plan on next week, or the following week beginning to apply for work so that i can feel safe about that for summer and weekends!! Im hoping now that i begin to feel more settled in life, more like i can relax and not so much think "in x weeks ill be moving again", instead just feel at peace at the new place. It will be different to live with a couple, so i hope i dont feel like i am in the way or an intruder, but considering that they were the ones renting out the room they wont think im in the way or annoying that i live there, hahaha.

So, thats my life update at the moment! I know i amnt so active on here but there are things in my life taking up my energy and time so focusing more on that as well as school work, but you can always leave comments and if i dont get the chance to reply there are often others who will reply before me!! :)

As you can tell, there is a difference in the instagram vs non instagram posted photos hahaha. I dont show everything i eat and even the pictures i do post i often eat more/add more afterwards! So a picture doesnt tell it all!

Saturday, January 28, 2017

positive thoughts and selfcare

45 LIFE LESSONS - BODIE and FOU Design, Interiors, Fashion & Life:
Train your brain to create lasting positive change.:

Health is more important than appearance

It's easy to get caught up in appearance and think that that is the only thing that matters, but in all honesty... appearance shouldnt be such a big deal, what should matter however is your health. Meaning both physical and mental health as well as other aspects of a healthy life.
The important thing is that your body and mind are healthy. It is easier to love yourself when you know that you are healthy and that your lifestyle is healthy for you. If you're body isnt healthy or there are problems with your health whether it is an infection/cold, stomach or digestion problems, broken bone or tired body or constant headache... you dont feel so vibrant, alive or content... you know there is something wrong and you know that you arent feeling 100%. Of course some issues cant always be solved, for example i cant get rid of my CF but i can make the best of it and live as healthy a life considering my illness.

Start prioritizing your health and know what is best for YOU. If you need to eat more for the sake of your health, do that. If others are all eating gluten free but you know that you like eating foods with gluten and it doesnt effect you negatively, then eat foods with gluten. If others are exercising lots, but you know that you need to rest and recover/recover from an injury etc then rest and dont care what others do. Somedays what is healthiest is a Friday night with films and snacks, other days what is healthiest is to spend a whole evening/night talking with friends or going out dancing or going for a long walk and just talking with someone. Sometimes it is sitting silently and thinking or writing down your thoughts, sometimes it is going to a therapist or someone to talk about your thoughts.

Do what is healthy for you and happiness often goes along with health, but also... a healthy and happy person usually feels better within and about themselves and often looks better to others. But feels better to themselves as well. Who cares about looking a certain way if you feel awful anyway.... i mean is a certain body image or body size really worth it if you feel awful all the time, if you cant even live life and feel insecure anyway? In my opinion, not really.... I choose health and a body that is healthy before choosing just a certain body image/size no matter how i feel, i've been there several times before and it really isnt worth it.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Friday food diary

So it seemed like alot of you wanted me to write up my food diaries over these 4 days, so here you go :) 
Though first off you have to remember that i dont eat super varied because 1) the food i buy lasts me a few days so i just eat the same thing and when i meal prep i basically eat the same thing 2 times a day, haha. And breakfast is usually the same as well! But also remember that how i eat is based off of my hunger levels for the day and what food is available to me, each day is different which you will see during these 4 days! But maybe it will inspire you to try different foods or realise that just an apple for a snack or two potatoes for lunch isnt enough etc

Breakfast: oatmeal with salted peanuts, banana and oat milk

Lunch: bean pasta with avocado, sweet corn, oat cream and ketchup

Snacl: bagel with avocado and hummus, banana and handful of salted peanuts, roughly a glass of oatmilk (which i had between two cups of coffee)

Dinner: lentil soup with carrots, potatoes, chickpeas & oatcream.  2 slices of bread with vegan spread & hummus. 2 dates.

Snack: soy yoghurt with granola and a banana & a handful of "candied" nuts

^^this is a picture from yesterdays dinner but i ate the same thing for dinner today as well

Negative self talk

Negative self talk is something i think must people find themselves doing now and again, some people more than others. But one thing i have learnt in life is that negative self talk doesnt lead to anything positive. It just tears you down and makes you think you arent good enough, it keeps you from reaching your goals and makes you think that you arent worth anything or good at anything.

Its easy to complain in life, but since focusing on positive thoughts and having a positive mindset i really dont complain so often. Instead i try to change my thoughts so that i dont complain or see the positives of different situations.

Its also important to have gratitude and be thankful in life, be appreciative of the things you have.

Instead of thinking, "i dont want to eat again/i dont want to eat", think "I am grateful that i have food infront of me and the ability to eat".

Instead of complaining about school think "I am grateful that i get to go to school and get the opportunity to learn."

Instead of being jealous over others or what others have or other peoples lifestyles think, "i am happy with what i have now while also working towards what i want or want to change. I am thankful for what i have in life now"

Just small changes in mindset or how you think can make a huge difference in how you feel and experience life. The more you change your thoughts the easier it is and soon you will realise that the negative thoughts are the rare thoughts and not vice versa!

Below are some images which might help you if you find yourself often stuck in negative thoughts and thinking.

Image result for negative self talk pin
Image result for negative self talk pin

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Happiness and feeling energetic

Hello :)

Recently ive felt so strange, and not in a bad way but in a good way.... ive felt happy and so energetic. Ive had so much energy lately and been walking places and wanting to do stuff. I am the type of person who when it comes to afternoons and evenings all i want is to lie in bed on my own and watch series, but now i feel like i want to meet people and do things and not just either be at the gym, school or lie in bed. Be more social and do more things.  I think its because its getting brighter and the temperature is getting warmer so now its the perfect weather for walking places and also the days are beginning to feel a little longer.

Yesterday was a really great day with lots of energy, and a short day in school and ended my day with eating dinner at a friends house spontaneously. We had planned to meet and get coffee but then we realised that i lived 5 minutes from her so i could just walk to her place and as she is eating more plant based she offered to make dinner for the two of us. It was actually very lovely to eat dinner with someone else and just have some company in the evening, and i would like to have more friend dinners. It might be hard when i move as i will be living with two others and its not always so fun for room mates when someone brings home a bunch of friends, but maybe once in a while it will be ok!

Today has and is another very good day. Today i started a new course and finally back to studying nutrition again, though its mostly repetition so hopefully the course wont be too tough or demanding but it feels good to back to studying nutrition now! It makes me more excited and motivated towards school when its something fun - and i think this is part of why i feel more energetic because now it will be a fun course and the lectures and seminars and the work i have to do will be fun!

Which brings me to... tomorrow i am going to start doing a 4 day diet registration where i write down everything i eat and then later i will analyze it using a computer program and see how my nutritional status is! I love doing these and always find it fun to look at the results, not so much the whole weighing and measuring food which is just time consuming. But it always gives me a good idea about whether i am eating enough/balanced while eating intuitively. But i thought, do you want me to share how i eat during these 4 days? I dont write food diaries on here because i forget about everything i eat during the day, but now when i have to write it down i might as well write it on here if you would be interested in knowing. I wont write out gram or measurements, but just how/what i eat. Let me know, if you arent interested, i wont do it as i dont see the point otherwise haha.

Moving on.... this evening im going to a vernissage/exhibition with some friends, not so sure how long ill stay but the event seemed interesting anyway so hopefully it will be fun!

For now i am going to enjoy my energy and happiness levels and not worry so much about how long they will last or why i feel this way, instead just embrace these feelings :)

How are you all doing? How has your day been? :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Eat until you are satisfied for less cravings

So this post is only written from personal experience but i am pretty sure there are studies and facts to back this up, but i dont really have the energy to read up on it and link to studies about this. But from personal experience i have found that 1) If i eat carbs, protein and healthy fats in a meal and 2) eat until i am satisfied i dont get cravings throughout the day.

The times i havent slept so well, or if its gone a little too long between meals or if i eat a meal that doesnt contain enough of the 3 macronutrients, or if i dont eat until i am satisfied i begin to get cravings.  And if i get cravings i almost always give into them, im not someone to put up limits or restrictions on my intake. But whenever i eat until i am satisfied fully (i.e at times when i pack too little lunch with me to school or i think "i finish att 12 so its fine ill just go home and eat lunch instead of bringing with me" but then the hunger creeps in or i amnt fully satisfied after my packed lunch then the cravings kick in. ) Or the times when i might eat a meal that is mostly carbs and some protein or a meal that is high fat and low carb, then the cravings can begin to kick in a while after. I need to be satisfied after a meal, not be so full that i feel like exploding but not still feel hungry either. Also balancing sweet and salt for my meals. For example eating a few dates or raisins after lunch satisfies my need for something sweet. Or if i eat something sweet such as oatmeal with sweetner and banana and dates, then i need to add peanut butter or salted nuts to balance it out. This for me is how i keep my balance and my intutive eating.

It IS annoying to always have cravings. To not feel satisfied or to feel like there is always something you are missing or craving, but over the years i now know why i get cravings. Of course lack of sleep and stress affect cravings, as well as the body being VERY SMART and if you lack a vitamin or mineral you can begin to get cravings for a food that contains that vitamin or mineral. Example, at times i get cravings for egg whites but then i just go eat some vegan food high in protein example lentils or chickpeas or some fake meat and then that craving goes away. Just like when i get cravings for egg yolks i go and add extra oil to my food or eat more nuts and avocado and then that craving goes away. Just like when i get cravings to drink soy or oat milk right from the carton (i once drank a whole 1l oatmilk in a day) i guess that it is my bodies way of saying that i might need more calcium or iron (of course if you suspect defiency of a vitmin or nutrient go to a doctor!!! But i find that cravings are actually a rather good way of your body telling you what you need more of.)

So if you find that you are always getting cravings then maybe think about if you can change something in your diet. Do you need to eat more so that you actually feel satisfied after your meals? Do you maybe need more carbohydrates or more healthy fats in your diet? Do you need to eat more frequently so that it doesnt go so many hours between your meals? Or maybejust less stress or more sleep is necessary.

But from my own experience when i get strong cravings i cant concentrate and i begin to think a little too much about food and that is not how i want to live my life. So by eating balanced and intuitive and feeling satisfied after my meals i dont think about food until i am hungry and its time to eat again meaning that basically 90% of my time is spent towards other things in my life and not thought about food - and thats the way it should be!

Anyone else have the same experience or have tips to give? :)

Also remember that hunger, extreme hunger and cravings arent really the same thing. There is a difference. Just like mental hunger and actual hunger and different things.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Changes since going vegan

To think that i have been a vegan 7-8 months now is kind of crazy. Ive never been anti vegan, but i just never thought it was possible for myself. I thought i wouldnt be able to eat the right energy amount, i would feel restricted and also i didnt want to be a vegan. I wasnt stupid, i knew about the meat and dairy industry and knew about the animal suffering and abuse but i wanted to just push it aside and think "what does one person make a difference." I wasnt ready or willing to make the choice to change - everything happens in the right time. But also that the choice to go vegan was made for ethical reasons not because i wanted to eat healthy or eat a bunch of salad and say no to certain foods - i think that if i had gone vegan the years before i actually did, i dont know if i could have done it in a healthy way.

I dont think everyone can be vegan or that everyone will go vegan, but i do think everyone can make small changes and choices in their daily life which makes a difference and that is what i want to promote and inspire people to do. I dont want to push veganism upon people, but i want to inspire people to make small changes. Infact something which makes me super happy is that the 3 different people i have shared living with, i have managed to inspire them to eat more vegetarian/vegan meals... just from me doing my own cooking and giving them advice and tips when they have asked. Just as simple as making my vegan meals has inspired them to go to the store and buy vegetarian products instead of meat and buy alternative milk and yoghurt products and try more vegetarian meals. It makes me so happy that just those small differences have an impact and hopefully it has been/will be long term, and not just the weeks/months i shared accomodation with them. But also that my sister has now begun thinking more about the products she buys and is going to start buying cruelty free products after all the talking i did about it during Christmas, as well as my mum being a little more open to vegan meals (shes been a lacto-ovo vegetarian.) It makes me smile when i think about those small changes i have inspired people to make!

I personally think that being a vegan is rather "easy" for me because 1) i know about nutrition and enjoy baking and cooking so that making meals isnt hard for me. I dont lack creativity and i eat varied and know about nutrients and vitamins so that i dont lack anything (Hopefully.). But if someone knows nothing about nutrition and hates cooking they might just live off of noodles or potatoes and that can lead to consequences and that the diet isnt long term, as well as if people eat plant based and eat far too little then it wont be long lasting either. But also i am aware of the fact that i live in a very priviliged country where the demand for vegan food and products is high so it feels like every month there is new vegan products for me to try and buy. As well as many cafes and restaurants offering vegan options so that i dont feel restricted socially - and in that sense i am so so lucky. And not to mention that i am priviliged enough to have the economy to buy fake meats and vegan cheeses and products. Because even if you dont need them, its always fun to try and have as options, but they are more expensive that meat or dairy there is no denying that. I know that my monthly food expenses are double or tripple than what my friends spend 1) because i buy vegan alternative products as well as 2) having a high energy requirement = needing to buy more food to give me the right energy intake and 3) priortizing food before clothes or alcohol etc

I dont ever want anyone to feel guilty if they cant be 100% vegan or 100% plant based, instead just eat a few vegan meals each week if possible and try to buy cruelty free products and that will make a difference!!! :)

But i thought i would write about some changes ive noticed since going vegan!!

- Less stomach pain - apart from the times i eat too much fiber or beans or lentils which havent been cooked properly.

- More spots... This is a negative, but i have to add it. Whether its from stress or caffeine or my diet, i dont know... but i definitely have more spots now than before (if anyone has advice about this, just comment below!)

- I like food which i didnt eat previously. I didnt like potatoes, cheese or pate. But now i LOVE potatoes and i actually like vegan cheese and vegan pate!

- I eat alot more carbohydrates than previously. I also eat more varied and colourful and try new foods alot more often than i did before.

- I cant watch food challenges or cooking shows anymore - im ok with watching baking shows, but not food shows.

- Physically? Energy levels, recovery from exercise? I really dont know and cant answer this. I dont know how my energy levels were before and i cant compare them because energy levels go up and down all the time based on different factors and life situation so i dont think its comparable. As well as i was very depressed before i made the choice to go vegan so compare myself now to then isnt so "fair" or just.

- I feel more caring about animals. I have always loved animals, but now i feel like i care about all animals more.

- I can get extremely upset sometimes when i think about all the animal suffering and abuse and how little i can do and that can definitely weigh heavy on my shoulders sometimes. But like my mum tells me, i can only do my best and inspire people as much as i can, and i cant help others if i decide to hide under the covers and cry because everything feels so awful.

Other changes.....? Well i am sure there are plenty but i cant think of any more right at this moment. But if you have any questions or wonder if i have noticed changes in anything or if my views or opinons have changed etc just comment below and ill try to answer in another post!! :)

Or if YOU have gone vegan or just begun eating more plant based meals have you noticed any dfferences, positive or negatives?