Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, December 4, 2016

What is the worst thing about weight gain? Ask yourself why weight gain scares you?

In recovery you need to try to think rationally because your eating disorder is very irritational. Your eating disorder can make you scared of things which really you shouldn't be scared of, and you think irrationally around food. Because deep down inside you know that the food you are going to eat won't suddenly make you gain weight or won't suddenly turn to a clump on your stomach.

You need to ask yourself what is the worst thing about gaining weight, or what is it that scares you and is holding you back? Because it's not actual weight gain it's what you think might happen when you gain weight or the things connected with weight gain.  But you need to sit down and try to think rationally about weight gain and food and see the positives of those things. Your eating disorder is trying to kill you, is controlling your life and thoughts and won't lead to anything positive.  But you need to try to find yourself and the rational part of yourself who can think clearly.

Ask yourself why can others eat freely or somewhat freely and carelessly and you can't?
What will happen if you eat more or gain weight? Why would it be negative or positive?

Food is not the enemy, your eating disorder is. But with all fears whether it's mental illness related or just life related, you need to try to think rationally about those fears and try to come to a solution. You can't let fears hold you back and when it comes to eating disorders the fear of weight gain is a very irrational one. Weightless won't make you happier or smarter or more confident or prettier or any of those things,just like weight gain won't make you less pretty or less smart or less happy etc weight gain can however give better energy levels, better nutrition (hopefully!), better concentration and a healthier body!

However facing fears isn't just the theoretical and thinking rationally because in the end you need to face the fears. You need to do the thing that scares you, to prove to yourself what you can and that it's not as scary as you thought.  The anxiety and the what ifs beforehand are usually what hold you back,but once toy face the fear you realise it's not as bad as you thought and that you can face it again!  But also think, if others can do it... so can I!!!

Remember that food is your medicine and that to be healthy and free you need to face the fears that hold you back!

Image result for recovery weight gain
Image result for recovery is worth it tumblr


  1. Hi! Good post, like all the others :D
    I need an advice, well follow my own meal plan, this meal plan tell me kcal, and and what meals I shout do, but finally i began to fell hungry and full, my body already tells me when I need more energy or no, but I can't follow your needs, if I don't at that time I can't stop thik about food, and if I eat more I feel guilt. Any advice? Kiss

  2. Very good post!
    Could you write a blogpost about binge eating, please? I have a struggle with binge eatig since almost a year and I can't get rid off/cope with it... I need a few advices or a plan how i shold eat. I dont know how have to look a good portion, I eat alsways too large amounts. Thereby i have had destroide my stomach and get a lot of stomach problems...
    Maybe you could help me?!

    I hope you understand me. Sorry for my..not so good english..:D
    J <3

    1. Ive written many posts about binge eating which might help you, if you check this tag and scroll down you will find many posts!

      Hope that helps :)

  3. I mainly only eat at night (3000 cals) because when I eat during the day my intestines fon't work and I get nauseous. Do you know why this could happen?

  4. Good post. This was one of the most shocking things about my own recovery - when I was sick, weight gain was the worst thing I could possibly imagine. I 100% believed I would rather be dead than fat. Paradoxically, as thin as I was, I felt fat every day. I felt ugly and disgusting every single day. But yet, when I finally did gain the weight, I stopped feeling fat. It was a revelation and a terrible part of EDs - basically the only thing I needed to stop feeling fat was to gain weight. Properly nourished, I was finally able to see reality and feel good. Proper hormones and proper chemicals working in my brain, and poof, I felt thinner at a higher weight than I ever did at a deathly low weight. It would be funny if it weren't so serious. Weight gain today is very low on the fear lost. I don't want to be overweight, but fluctuating a few pounds here and there is nbd. I'm more afraid of losing my serenity and happiness and relationships than I am about gaining a pound or two. One is NOT worth the other.