Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, December 27, 2016

The goal is to live life, not just survive. The goal is to live life after hospital, not just get out and return to old habits.

Being in hospital is awful and most people dont like it. Most people just want to get out of hospital as quickly as possible. Whilst others love the comfort of a hospital, love the feeling of being taken care of and would much rather stay in the "safe zone" of a hospital and not have to deal with the outside life. But whatever the case is, the goal is to GET out of hospital and to LIVE life.

When i was an inpatient my main goal was to just get out of the hospital and continue with my ed behaviour... because the hospital was just stopping me from doing what my ED was telling me, so i just wanted to get out of there so that i could continue with my destructive behaviour. But that is not how it should be. If your main goal is to get out of hospital so that you can lose weight or listen to your eating disorder, then you are not ready to leave the hospital. But of course doctors dont think about this.... But i remember back in 2010 when my mum had done everything she could and promised the doctors that i would be fine to travel back to Ireland for christmas, of course the doctors really didnt want to let me go and said that if i had returned and lost weight i would be admitted to inpatient again. Of course all i thought about when i was told that i would travel back to Ireland for christmas was that i then had X days to lose all the weight i had gained, not eat and to exercise.... and that is exactly what i did. And safe to say that that christmas was one of the worst christmas' in my life... so many things went wrong and when i arrived back to Sweden i was x kilo lighter and my elecotrlyte balance was extremely low due to the purging i had been doing as well as the exercise and restriction.... i was told that i was close to having a heart attack due to the imbalance of electrolytes, and all i could think of was "good".

I spent so long in hospital and my only intention was to get out so that i could continue being sick, and well all that lead to was me spending more time in hospital and going in and out from inpatient. 

You have to realise and remember that being in hospital is a way to help you and keep you alive, and the goal is to get out of hospital and LIVE LIFE, create your life, deal with life. In hospital you should be taught coping mechanisms and how to deal with stress and triggors and how to deal with life, because being in hospital is "safe", but you cant stay there forever. And you cant spend your life going in and out of hospital either.

Sooner or later you have to realise that you need to live and create life, face your fears and learn to cope with the ups and downs. Life is like a roller coaster so there are good times and bad times but you have to learn to cope with them and not just run and hide. 

If you can relate to this post, then please take a few moments to just sit and think and realise that you shouldnt waste your life being in hospital. Hospital is not your life and it shouldnt be a comfort or safe zone, but also getting out of hospital doesnt mean that you just continue wth your ED behaviours because sooner or later you will be back to the hospital again. The goal is to stay healthy, keep progressing and be able to live the life you deserve!!

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