Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, December 12, 2016

Talking negatively about yourself and your capabilities - Self confidence

I'm very open about the fact that I have low self esteem and low confidence levels. I never think I'm good enough and have the habit of talking down about myself and my capabilities.  Never think I've done enough or am enough.  And I can say it is very draining to think this way, to always feel like everyone else is better than me, but also it's draining for others to be around someone who thinks or talks this way. Often I don't voice all the thoughts I have such as that I'm bad at different things or not goood enough, and other times I say them in a joking way.

Yesterday however when talking to people online I realised just how negatively I talk about myself. In the matter of an hour I had already written "I'm bad at this " 4 times and written I'm the worst at X several times. Not once had I said anything positive about myself. It's not a healthy mindset according to me and something I need to change.

I don't think I even realise just how much I do it.. how I talk about myself in a negative way to others as I don't feel confident.  It's like I feel that I need to warn people that I'm bad at everything and they shouldn't have high expectations. My ex used to dislike this trait about me and my lack of confidence in myself.... and now I realise that I hate that trait about myself as well. I want to be confident and project confidence.  I don't want to project negativity an low self esteem. I find confidence attractive in others and I'm sure my low self esteem and lack of confidence is off putting for others. Nobody wants to hear about someone continously saying how bad they are at everything.

So more confidence!!! More positivity towards myself and my capabilities.  Talk about myself in as positive and uppkäftig manner!!!  And you should do the same thing. Believe in yourself and project confidence!!!!

3 comments:

  1. I'm glad to see you posting about this. It's these kinds of lingering thoughts that keep life out of reach for us. Long after I recovered from my ED, I still had many of the same negative thoughts about myself, and it just made me sick in other ways. It took a lot of work to change. For me, what worked was a combination of many different skills. I did DBT with a counsellor (this was really instrumental); I consciously worked to become aware of the way I spoke to myself and about myself and challenged those thoughts; I made a decision (and stuck to it) to no longer use self-deprecating language with other people; I started a gratitude journal and every single morning, for a couple years now, I begin my day by writing down three positive things about myself and/or five things I'm grateful for that moment (because eliminating the negative messages leaves a hole that needs to be filled with new, better information, new language with which to speak of myself), and I work very hard to maintain my spiritual health, which fills the internal void (that I used to try and fill with stuff, or negative behaviours, or obsessions). Learning to love myself, accept myself, become truly humble rather than just self-denigrating, getting out of self and learning to have purpose and do service for others, and having a source of spirit that fuels it all, has been a long but incredibly rewarding road. I don't always feel great, and I still experience times of jealousy or feelings of inferiority, but today I don't live in that space. I have skills to get me out of that space. Now, fear doesn't hold me back. Self-loathing doesn't hold me back. I am free to live the life I dream of because I'm no longer treating myself as a third-class citizen. I sincerely wish you strength and wisdom to get where you want to go. Awareness and the desire to change is the first step :)

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  2. You know Izzy you don`t come across on here as having low self esteem or confidence issues, even though I know you write about them. And you are always so positive! To move the way you did to a strange area not known to you and start uni there takes guts - and confidence in your abilities!
    So stop knocking yourself - you do have confidence! You don`t come across anywhere near as "badly" as you think

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  3. Hey beautiful girl! Just though I'd anonymously send some positive vibes your way. I rarely get the impression that you talk negatively about yourself btw! Have a wonderful day!!!

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