Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, December 16, 2016

My thoughts about social media

Izzy, do you have an opinion on WHY this obsession with social media has become SO prevalent? Is it driven by fame and recognition? Money? Insecurity? Self-obsession? Has it just become a cultural norm that no one questions? It is such a gigantic time-suck away from REAL life, I just don't get it. WHY do people care more about thousands of anonymous "friends" instead of a small circle of real-life ones? What do people actually GET from living their lives publicly, on social media? My facebook is private, I can't even imagine having the whole world able to see my life, but so many people actually want that... I'm uncomfortable just knowing my small list of friends are able to see a slice of my life (hence why I never post anything), but I like being able to check in on them once in a while. Plus I like having a place to store my pictures where certain people can see them. Is that what drives it all? Wanting people to see you? (Not you in particular, you in a general sense). Not wanting to be overlooked or forgotten? Which is just ego... social media is driven by ego, as far as I can tell, but I really want to see an opinion from someone who actually does use all those platforms, and you seem to have some objectivity about it, can see both sides, so please enlighten me!


Over the past few years of blogging i have written alot about social media and shared my opinon because i guess i am very mixed about social media. I love it and use it daily, sometimes more than is necessary or maybe healthy, i think there are so many positive things about social media but at the same time there is alot of negatives about social media. There is alot of comparison, obsession, losing actual contact with people as its all done online now a days.

If i am honest, at times i dont even realise just how alone i am because i am always connected... its happened where i have spent 72 hours on my own, barely talkng to anyone apart from "hi" or "thankyou" while in the food store or the gym, but i havent realised that i have been alone/barely said anything because i have talked to people online and been able to follow other peoples stories and lives online and so you dont feel so lonely. This can be positive and negative in a sense, i.e you dont feel lonely but also the negative that you ACTUALLY ARE alone and might be isolating yourself. Not to mention that comparison can happen so easily when you just follow other peoples lives online and just see their highlights and perfect pictures. Yyou need to have objectivity while scrolling through social media... realise that social media isnt real life or the "whole truth".

I mean i am very open and honest on my blog, but there is still alot which isnt shared through my blog.... even if i were to vlog my days, there would still be so much missing from my life and thoughts which you wouldnt see. Social media is just a portrayel of how a person wants you to see them... the person behind the account chooses what they want to share and not share. That is why i think all the "behind the scenes/real life" photos which are popular now a days which show "the truth" (i.e either bloating pictures or no make up pictures or pictures which arent posed) are so liked because people can relate to them more. It feels like now a days more people and disliking the fakeness of social media and wanting people to be open and honest, but still you have to realise that there will always be a filter between the followers and the person who posts.

Why are people obsessed with followers and social media? 
  I used to be a little obsessed with followers in the past... i remember when i had like 4 thousand followers on Instagram and i wished i had more followers, wished i was a huge account with lots of followers... and my reasoning for it? Just because i wanted a bunch of followers and once i realised how silly that was and that by focusing on numbers and followers it took the joy away from social media for me. Ii instead unfollowed accounts that made me feel bad about myself or triggered me in anyway or accounts i compared myself to and i stopped focusing on followers and instead posted what i wanted to post... i didnt care about likes or numbers, but posted what i wanted just like with my blog. Social media for me should be about fun... but of course now i do think that the more people who follow me the more people i can inspire and help, but in the end i dont care about followers or numbers, i just hope to inspire atleast someone out there and make a difference while doing what i love and am good at!! 

Followers and likes is a way for people to validate themselves, they think that the more followers they have the more important they are or the more they matter.... when in reality its just a number and people have to realise that thye need to stop putting their worth and value in numbers. I remember i used to think that my journey or my story wasnt as important or as good as others because i didnt have as many followers as them, of course when i began to think reationally i realised that followers and likes has nothing to do with how inspirational a person is or about a persons story. Everyones journey can inspire and help others, its just that others are better at doing social media marketing and getting their social media accounts out there.

As you wrote, social media is very much about ego as well. People want attention and likes, they want to be validated... there are many (friends and family of mine) who actually delete pictures if they dont get enough likes. Many people post photos for the sake of likes and numbers not for their own sake - for example on my own IG i have a certain theme which i post so i dont post all the pictures i might want to post, and that is a choice i have made...  I dont deny that my IG is a themed IG so each post is supposed to fit my theme according to me, but i also only post pictures i want to post and really dont care whether i get X or Y likes. But of course soemtimes i question which i post online, and recently i made a post saying how i want to use my social media to inspire and influence not just to post a pciture or post for the sake of it, but that every post and picture should have a meaning to it... even if that meaning is a silly meaning, there should still be some reason behind it!

There is so much i could write about social media, and its all my own experience and thoughts so nothing factual, hahah. But people use social media for likes, to be validated and get attention (most often.), and then there are some people who are "silent stalkers" (basically me on FB... i dont post anything there but i read peoples statueses and such). Social media can be great or it can be very detrimental, it depends on how a person thinks and uses social media... whether they use it because they find it fun, or whether social media adds pressure and competition and anxiety to their life (when that is not how it should be!). I think social media should be fun, used to connect with people and friends and make contacts!! I have talked and met so many amazing people through social media and i love that i can have an impact and influence on people, as well as it is something i enjoy... so as long as those 3 factors are what drive me to use social media i will continue to do so!! :)



4 comments:

  1. Do you have a private IG account?

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    1. No, back in 2012 i did. Have nothing to post for my personal ig!

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  2. Do you have a public IG account? I'd love to follow it if you do.

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  3. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I really appreciate your honesty around your own experiences, especially how you address the way you yourself have suffered the phenomenon of getting sucked into the whole thing and the way you need to regularly check your motives and reassess how social media is affecting your life, and the way that this process can happen repeatedly despite having the best of intentions. I also really appreciated your thoughts on loneliness, and how SM is supposed to be a tool for connection but often ends up doing just the opposite, often without a person even fully realizing it until it's too late. It's a whole world I just do not fully understand and so I appreciate your openness about your personal experiences with it, the ways it has been positive as well as negative. I wish more people were as self-aware as you. It makes me sad to think there is a whole generation of people searching for validation in all the wrong places, and doing things like deleting pictures(?!) just for lack of "likes". It really makes me feel grateful for the people in my life, that when I'm suffering from bouts of ego or low self-esteem, I have REAL places to turn to pull me out of it. REAL people who really care about me and only want the best for me. I don't feel I am missing out by not using SM, but I see how it can be a fun hobby if one can keep it in perspective.

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