Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, December 19, 2016

Enjoy Christmas and dont worry about food or weight gain - special occasions are more than your body or food

It makes me sad to see how many questions and messages both myself and others have recieved from people worrying about their body and weight this christmas. And i get it... some people are overweight and might need to watch what they eat - i understand that. And no, not everyone can just "let go" or "eat whatever they want" like some people can do. But it makes me sad to see how some people are restricting themselves the days or weeks before Christmas just so that they can eat a little more during Christmas eve, or so that they can allow themselves a few cookies or a slice of cake. And this is just 'normal people' who do this. And then there are those with eating disorders who might start panicking about christmas celebrations weeks or months in advance, or worry endlessly about the food that they might have to eat.

And it just makes me so sad to see... but also how Christmas seems to just be about presents and food, and sure those are big parts of christmas but thats not what it is about. I am not religious and i dont speak about religion here, but if you take the religious part away from Christmas, for me it is about family time and appreciating my family and my life. It is not about food or about presents, but about being with the people i love and the people i care about and those who care about me. Its about giving thanks and being appreciative.

This christmas try not to worry about the food and dont worry about your weight or your body. If you gain weight... who cares? What is the worst that could happen or what is so bad about gaining weight? Dont restrict yourself either, instead enjoy the food available but most importantly be appreciative over the food.
  I remember when i was sick i used to feel so ashamed and guilty about 1) Either having to eat so much food which cost alot of money or 2) because i used to throw food away and "faked" that i ate or 3) because i would eat and then purge the food and i always felt so ashamed about it. But now i am just appreciative over the fact that myself and my family can afford food, but also i am even more appreciative over the fact that i will be having a vegan christmas, where none of my food with contribute to animal suffering. I have tried to convince my family to have a fully vegan christmas, but they still want their salmon and eggs and there isnt much i can do about that, but i can atleast eat my own vegan food.
This Christmas - just like the past several years, the gingerbread cookies and the saffron buns and the christmas breakfast and lunches will be eaten with joy and happiness and thankfulness. There will be bloating and full stomachs and that is part of life, just like more resting and less workouts because more time is spent with family.

You dont need to workout more or eat less - what you need to do is face your fears and your anxities around food. To not let your eating disorder control you or ruin your day or your life.

For some it can help to have a plan during Christmas, trying to stick to routines and normal eating... others feel it is easier to eat more freely so that the christmas cake and cookies arent "extras" or you dont feel like you are eating too much... whatever suits you. But also have some montos or mantras to help you if you feel anxious or guilty or maybe just have some time to yourself if you feel overwhelmed with family.... usually each Christmas i end up taking 1-2 hours on my own where i just sit and watch a series or do some blogging or go for a walk just to get my own personal space, and that is ok as well!

But most of all remember that Christmas is just a few days and now is the perfect time to face fears and anxities, and to realise that you can eat all types of different food and your body can handle it, but also that if you do gain weight... who cares. Dont weigh yourself, instead try to enjoy the special occasion and enjoy the food and just focus on life.

And if this christmas doesnt turn out so great, then make it your goal that next year it will be a good christmas and one with positive memories!!

And if you dont celebrate christmas - which i know many dont. Then just focus on being happy, eating yummy food nonetheless and facing some fears anyway!!!

You are more than your body. You are more than your weight, and food should be enjoyed not feared!!!! 

Also.. if people begin talking about calories or weightloss during food times, tell them to be quiet and keep their thoughts to themselves. And if anyone starts talking about diets after christmas or losing the christmas weight, then just walk away.... or remind yourself about YOUR goal (which is hopefully to be healthy and have a healthy body and mind!). Maybe make a rule with your family that there will be no talk about calories or weight this christmas... or new year!: )


  1. Very inspirational post and very truthful too :) one week to open up to new things isn't going to hurt anything!
    Izzy I do have a question that just came to me that I'm curious about: if you were to have a child in the future, would you raise him/her vegan?

    1. I've answered this previously but I would raise my child eating only vegan foods at home (and of making sure that my child gets all the right supplements and nutrients such as the child would have no b12 stores compared to someone who goes from eating meat to going vegan... but also that nutrients in plants /vegan food aren't as easily absorbed meaning that it's even more important for a child to get the right nutrients and energy amount ). But I would let the child choose what they want to eat in school... I wouldn't want them to feel like they can't eat something, but I would teach them from an early stage what meat actually is.... I. E let them make the connection that bacon is actually an animal/comes from an animal. It would be up to the child to choose how they eat and I wouldn't force veganism upon them but I would raise them as vegan as possible... however if the case was that the child wasn't healthy while eating a vegan diet then I would buy meat or dairy if that was what made the child be healthy as health comes first. That's how I think/feel now anyway:)

  2. Ugh, this post reminds me of all of the many, many, many holidays I totally wasted obsessing and panicking about the food that would be involved. I can't even believe I lived like that now. It is just so utterly ridiculous, to sit there amidst family and love and joy, and only be thinking "wahhh, I don't wanna eat!". Get over it, girl. I know I was very sick, and felt trapped, and couldn't even see any alternative to what I was doing, but man! Being recovered gives me so much perspective on the whole situation, and today I am embarrassed that I used my energy in such a pointless way for so long. Ruined holidays for myself and for others. Thumbed my nose at the blessings all around me. Imagine someone living in civil war and poverty witnessing that! Some lucky, priveledged, loved girl deciding that she simply doesn't want to eat, and ignoring the safety and security and love she is surrounded by. Just totally wasted, entitled, and sick effort. These kinds of reminders are so helpful for my recovery because they keep me aware of my gratitude for where I am today, and what it was like before. There is no nostalgia or wistful thinking about my past - I just look at the facts and see it for what it was. Self-imposed misery and wasting my life away. What I have today is infinitely better, and I never want to lose this. This comment might sound harsh to my former self or other people still struggling, but I don't sugarcoat things when it comes to my recovery. Being sick sucked, there was ultimately no pay-off, and all I did was miss out on how magic life can actually be. Here's to having some magic this Christmas!