Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, December 3, 2016

Eating through others

It would be helpful if you could write a post on eating through others as I have found myself doing it more and more just recently. If I really want to eat a certain food I keep putting it off and end up giving it or making it for others to eat instead. Or if I like a certaing food I will give it away or get it for others to eat. Why do I do this? Its as if I really can`t bring myself to eat the food myself, although I really want to.

This habit of making food for others and watching others eat and "eating through others" is a trait of the eating disorder and i used to be the same. I loved making food for others and cooking and baking and whenever i cooked food for my family i would use lots of butter and oil and cream and then just watch them eat.... it was like i was happy and satisfied by watching them eat. But also so incredibly jealouse that they could eat so freely and not care about what was in the food or care about the amount of oil or cream in the food. I was obssessed with what others ate and would count the calories in other peoples food and made food for others whenever i got the chance. I was a bit like a "feeder" which is basically people who love to feed others and getting satisfied by  doing that. It was a control thing and because i was so obsessed with food, food was always on my mind and if i couldnt eat the food myself then i could atleast make it for others and watch them eat. An incredibly disordered thing. It is one thing to cook food and enjoy cooking but you should also eat it and enjoy it yourself. While i was in recovery i wasnt allowed to cook food at all and even though i loved baking i was told that i was only allowed to bake if i would eat the food myself because otherwise i could easily bake both cookies and brownies and just not eat them (or like when i was in relapse and binging i would bake cookies and eat them all.).

The first thing is to admit that this is what you do and to admit that it is is a problem, which it seems like you have done. You have acknowledged that this is a negative and disordered behaviour and you can now take the steps towards changing it.

First off you need to realise that you "eat through others" because of your obsession with food and because of your eating disorder. You need to realise that you can eat the food you cook and make, infact you need to and should as well. But also i would suggest that you say to yourself that you cant cook for others... that during recovery you can only make food which you will eat yourself or to only eat food that others make for you. I know it can be scary but it does get easier and you have to face the fear, you have to be able to eat meals that have been made by others, but also to not get caught up in what others are eating. The first step is to be able to nourish yourself, fuel yourself before you can start trying to feed others.

Bbut also distractions and other things in your life. I would suggest talking to someone who can help you with advice and just someone to talk about these behaviours with. But also trying to do other things in your day. When you find a hobby or interest then less time is spent thinking and focusing on food, but also you spend less time in the kitchen. Food should be eaten to give you energy and satisfaction, but food shouldnt be everything in your life. Maybe you can meet friends or spend time with family or do other things rather than just think about food. And whenever you want to cook for others or make food for others, do something else... distract yourself.  And if you do need to or want to cook for others, then you need to eat the food yourself and NO putting away a "healthier" dish for yourself... instead you eat what others eat as well, that is part of recovery and you need to eat the portion sizes that you need. No minimal portion sizes!!

As you begin to gain weight/nourish your body properly and focus on other things in your life and find distractions and hobbies and interests, there is less focus on food. And that should be your goal, that food is part of your life but not  your whole life. It is also about changing your thoughts, asking yourself why you enjoy "eating through others" and what you can do to change that - and that means actaully eating food yourself and doing other things in life!!

Give it time, keep facing your fears and know that you can recover but then you need to be honest about these things and make a change, but also opening up about these problems and getting help!!! :)

If anyone else has any advice about this comment below!!!

1 comment:

  1. Thankyou Izzy for your helpful reply - it has given me something to work on. Who would you suggest that I seek help from about this? I know its not the right way to be and need change. Not cooking for others will be hard but I can see that it is the necessary thing to do.
    Thankyou again for your advice. It is nice to know that I`m not alone in this and that you have gone through it too - and found a way out.