Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Did I really suffer from depression? Did I really recover?
So recently I got an email which I thought was rather rude. They accused me of either 1) lying about my depression or 2) lying about recovery because no one can recover so "quickly" if I truly struggled as much as I said I did.
So first off... I was never clinically diagnosed with depression. I didn't want to get help or therapy (no... I don't recommend this choice for anyone else. I was very hypocritical... telling others to seek help when I couldn't even do it myself. But as I'm sure we all know, asking for help and even admitting you are sick is extremely hard.). Second the depression progressively got worse under 1,5 years and it had alot to do with stress and burn out as well as other things but I think it was just too much stress and a burn out.
Secondly (?) I don't write out all my thoughts and feelings on here. I've had to restrict my writing and openness a whole lot recently due to who reads or may read my blog so I don't feel comfortable being so open right now.
Thirdly, in summer I made a whole bunch of changes in my life. I began with alternative medicine which has helped a lot and if I miss 1-2 days of my medicine the negatives thoughts can come rolling in and I can find it hard to find motivation or do basic things. Depression is due to a chemical imbalance and I just need to accept that I need medication for it, even if it isn't anti depressants, it's an alternative form of anti depressants.(everyone has their thoughts and personal choice regarding medication and alternative medication and this is my choice.). Recovery for me wasn't just about thinking positive and smiling, but actually changing mindset and reevaluating things in my life.
I feel so much happier now because I don't feel as stressed, I can't cope with stress and that is one major factor i need to limit in my life or try to rethink stressful situations and not make them seem as stressful. But also I don't feel as lost in life and I socialise more now than I did before as well as just feeling older, more matured and more experienced in life. But of course I'm still young and I'm not Always happy. But I feel like I am as recovered/happy as I can be right now in life. And it wasn't a "quick recovery ", it still took months and different changes in my life. But I can understand if it seems like I went from suicidal and anxiety filled to social and happy in just a few weeks, when that isn't the case at all.
I don't feel like repeating myself about my depression but you can read various posts I wrote while I struggled HERE and my post "what depression looks like"
Not so sure why I'm writing this post, mostly I think because I felt rather offended of being accused of lying either about struggling or about getting better.