Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Answering your questions from the comment section - calorie increase in recovery, dealing with food comments, my university program, christmas dinner

Hello :)
  At the moment i have little inspiration to blog so i thought that the least i could do was to atleast answer your comments and questions, haha :) So here are my most recent asks, and if i have missed your question just let me know, or leave more questions below if you have any and i will try get around to answering them!

I`m just starting out on recovery and trying to formulate a mealplan to follow. My problem is that I don`t know how many calories to start with? Or should I just ignore the calorie count and formulate amealplan with three main meals to start with? This in itself would be a huge step for me as I don`t eat regular meals at the moment so have no pattern.
If you can help that would be great. I need to regain at least Xkg to take me back to where I was at before all this started.

Hello, its great to hear that you are starting recovery and want to start eating more, that is the first step!! I would first off recommend that you go to a dietician as it is always best to talk to a proffessional and get their advice and help. But also that i dont know how much you ate beforehand and if you were eating very little for a long time then you dont want to end up with refeeding syndrom by increasing too much all at once. How much you should start off with depends on your body, bmi, how long you have been restricting (if thats what you have been doing). But start of with 3-4 meals each day where you just eat something (try to atleast eat a real portion i.e no baby portions) 4 times a day. .So breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner (or you can have a morning snack or evening snack or all 3 is the best): And then after 1-2 weeks try to eat 6 meals a day, and then make yourself a meal plan where you try to maybe hit 1800kcal a day and then every 1-2 weeks increase with 300-500kcal. This is because your body needs to adapt to the calorie and going from 0 to 100 isnt very good, but aim to try to eventually eat around 2500-3000 (or more kcal everyday for weight gain).  Also make sure to eat some carbohydrates, protein and healthy fats for each of your meals.But once again, going to a dietician who can help you would be the best. Bt also just eating.... try to eat 6 times a day and and to eat a little more than you think because your eating disorder will make you think small portions are "too big". Keep fighting your fears and remember that food is nourishment and fuel for your body!!

Here are some posts which might help you:
Weight gain and meal plans without proffessional care
Calorie intake in recovery
How to recover on your own
My meal plan in recovery vs how i eat now (2015)

How do you deal with comments about eating? I was eating dinner and my boyfriend commented that I was eating the most hes seen me eat for a long time. That made me feel really bad, like that I was overeating. How should I deal with this sort of thing - I take comments like this so personally
 Ive had to deal with many comments like this in my life and i know it can be tough but you have to realise that 1) eating alot isnt a bad thing, 2) You most probably werent eating "more than you need", 3) People need different energy amounrs and have different appetites 4) you should never be ashamed of eating or eating the amount your body needs.
 Society and people have been so engrained with the idea that we need tiny portions or that females in particular should eat tiny amounts while males can eat alot more. Its almost like its an embarrassement if a girl can eat more than a guy, when it really shouldnt be that way. I know it can be hard to not take comments like that personally but you have to realise that the comment was not intended to hurt you or harm you, instead he just didnt think about what the comment would mean for you. But also that the comment was completely unnecessary, and i would suggest that you actually talk to him about it.... He might do it again and you dont want that happening, maybe just mention that you dont want to get comments about your food, but also explain that you arent eating "too much" but the amount you need!! I know its tough, but it gets easier to deal with over time as you begin to realise that food is energy and nourishment and everyone eats different amounts... and the fact that you are eating more is a good thing and he was most probably just happy or surprised but in a good way:)

Ive written many posts about how to deal with food comments so i will link them beelow so you can check them out :)

When people comment about your food
Dealing with food comments (tag)   - scroll through/down for all the different posts

When starting recovery would you recommend making a meal plan just starting with regular meals to begin with or should you start with a certain amount of calories?
Ive answered this in the first question, but i would recommend following a meal plan because often portion sizes are a little skewed when you have an eating disorder so even if you may eat 4-6 times a day they might be tiny portions and not enough. So i think a meal plan is a good idea, HOWEVER its not good to obsess over numbers either.... I mostly think meal plans are a good idea because then 1) You know you are eating enough, 2) You eat regular meals which has many benefits in recovery, 3) You dont have to think about what you are going to eat, you just eat... and then eventually yyou can begin eating more varied or eat things which arent on your meal plan, 4) It makes it easier to increase. However everyone is different, some people just focus on portion sizes and others focus on meal plans and calories.... so whatever works for you. But facing fear foods, increasing your intake one way or another are the most important and just getting the energy into you whether that is through your favourite bread with butter or through pasta and vegetables and chickpeas. But of course a balance of food groups and food is the important thing so its not just vegetables and not just chocolate!

Hi Izzy - you have a lot of tests - one at the end of each subject you study? Do you find these helpful, ie helps you acknowledge what you have learnt/not learnt or would you rather you didn't have them/
Also do you sit an exam at the end of your course or is your overall grade made up of what your scores were in your tests?Which is the most important, the regular tests or the exam at the end (if you have one)?
Sorry for all the questions, just wondered how it all worked
Hello :)
  All school systems are different, so i understand that you are curious or wonder how it works here in Sweden! The program i am going is divided into roughly 4 courses each term (i.e autumn/winter and spring/summer), some courses are 4 weeks others are 2 weeks others are 12 weeks... it all depends on how big the courses are and how many "university points" they give.  How many assignments, obligatory seminars and exams a course has varies alot... but also what type of exam you get i.e you can get a "Home exam" where you basically have to write essay answers and get a week at home to write the exam, or you have written exams in an exam room - which are the type of exams i mostly have. All the exams i have had in university i.e a year of university, and after each course i have had a long written exam (3-5 hours). You get told at the start of the course which assignments are obligatory and when the exam is as well as "what you should know" but of course the "what you should know" isnt always so helpful during the actual exam, hahaha.

I dont know whether i find essays or exams the best or most helpful. I personally dont mind having huge exams, i have learnt to deal with my anxiety and fear around them, but also i like the feeling of just studying hard for a week/few weeks and then doing an exam and having it over with, compared to when you have a 10page essay to write. Of course some exam questions require 2 a4 pages to answer properly, hahah!! However i find that with essay writing i remember more than when i just intensively study for an exam, because first off  learn lots and learn all the details but once the exam is over its like my brain says "ok... 60% of what you just learned isnt necessary to know anymore...", so i do forget a whole lot after an exam, compared to with an essay when you do alot more research about certain topics/area and you remember it more!

The exam at the end of the course is the most important and is usually 50-60% of the grade and then the smaller assignments or obligatory seminars or practical work make up the rest of the grade. However in university we just have pass or fail (and in some courses you have VG which is basically "better than pass/good", hahah Though i dont think it has much meaning, because if you pass you pass... doesnt matter if its 1% over passing score or 15% over the passing score).

If you have more questions, just leave them below :)

What will you be having for a Christmas inspired brunch??
Hope you have a great week ahead. When do you break for Christmas?

I havent done so much thinking about what i will make for Christmas, but i was thinking i would make a kale and onion pie, soy meat balls, my own beetroot sallad, sweet potatoe, my own rice pudding and then ill make a vegan gingerbread cheesecake (or a white chocolate and saffron cake) for everyone :) If you want me to post recipes of any of these just let me know and i can make a seperate post with those!!
And i have my last lecture next Wednesday but wont travel home until Thursday :)


  1. I really like the idea of your kale and onion pie - could you post the recipe?
    Also, do you buy your salad dressing or make them? I am looking for a dairy/egg free salad cream but so far unlucky. Maybe if you make your dressings could you post that recipe as well?
    I think your ideas for Christmas food sound great btw:)

  2. Have you heard about the insects protein powder? Would you eat it?

  3. Does your depression come in waves? Once a month for a few days mine gets unbearable, to the point where I cannot function and am suicidal. It passes on its own. I'm inclined to believe it has to do with my hormones and is related to my period but I haven't gotten my period back yet after AN. Just figured I would see if you can relate!

    1. I`m sorry you feel like this. It sounds to me too that it is your hormones beginning to work again and causing you to experience PMT type feelings. If I were you I would see your doctor about this. You should not have to suffer like this and he/she may be able to help you. Don`t soldier on alone and wait for it to pass,you must feel so miserable.
      I really hope you get some answers to this and some help. Take care xxx

  4. Hi Izzy, I have a question about Sweden. My sister is going to Stockholm soon to visit a friend (we are Canadian but they met at school here), and the friend told my sister not to pack her red coat. She recommended to bring a dark coat, because "people in Sweden just don't wear bright things like that and you'll stick out". So my sister is going to take my coat, which is the same as hers except mine is black. What?? Is that true? I thought it was so funny, but would it really be noticeable if someone were walking around in a bright red dress coat??